Wearing my sweet Hattie

I love babywearing again! Hattie is so light in the moby. She falls asleep instantly on my chest. I love being close to her. Freddie gets a kick out of her in his old carrier. He's like, "oh yeah!!!"

Christmas Eve 2013

It's been a week since the birth of our little Hattie girl. We fall more in love w her every day. Freddie loves loves loves "baby Hattie," and gets super hyper around her. He's learning to be gentle. He wants to hold her all the time. He comforts her. Freddie asks me to sing him the Baby Mine song all the time. Yesterday we were driving in the car and Hattie had started crying a little. Out of nowhere he held her hand and sang, "Baby mine don't you cry; lay your heart close to my heart, never a tear, baby a mine." Um. Collin and I definitely got all teared up. And then Fred tried to poke her eyeballs: "THEY're ON!!"

The jealousy has been minimal. It's crazy how much my love has grown for Fred too. He melts my heart. 

What a week! We were in the hospital for 3 days! It was exhausting!!!!!!! We were so so happy to get back home and be in our own comfy bed, with the kitties and Frederick. Collin has been taking great care of us. 

Anyway, Christmas Eve!!!! It was an interesting one this year. We were behind on Christmas stuff of course, so Collin and Freddie were out shopping all day. Hattie and I stayed home in bed, and I was a little bummed to be missing out, but it was good to rest up and spend alone time with my new little honey. 

We opened some gifts from a friend!

I have to say....

I LOVE having a daughter! Hattie is the sweetest, darlingest, most amazing baby girl I've ever known. I just hold her in my arms and stare and listen as she sleeps, jostles, coos, breathes, dreams, and makes the cutest peeping noises.

Andddddd I LOVE not being pregnant! Sorry to my dear dear pregnant friends! As you know, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but I'm loving not to having that giant belly!!! I can turn around/twist! Be comfortable in the car! Take a shower and reach everything! Take a super super hot shower! Lay on my back! Clean out the cat litter (I know that doesn't sound awesome, but I like having it clean all day and not having to wait for CS to be home etc. 

Yesterday we all went to the doctor-

Hattie had her first pediatrician check up and first vaccine and is perfect. 

I had a follow up about my blood pressure w my dr (same as Hattie's) and it's high again so I'm going to be on medication---not the heavy crazy magnesium, thank goodness, but some other stuff that doesn't effect breastfeeding and the side effects are small. Ill take it for a month, then hopefully everything will going back to normal and I'll get off it. 

And poor sweet Freddie hurt his foot and had to go to the ER for x-rays. He was limping and screaming--scary and very unusual for him. But there were no breaks so he pretty much just has to take ibuprofen and let it heal. Bummer at Christmas time. 

Merry Christmas Eve!!!!!! We definitely have had a very different year this year. We are behind on everything, but have a good excuse! Today we are just going to lay low! Make a cmas treat, watch a few movies, go to the park to enjoy sun, fresh air, and blankets in the grass. Tonight we will hang out w the money's at our place. 

Nursing--is going well. It's painful to have my milk come in, uncomfortable to be constantly leaking and smelling like milk bleh. I'm also enjoying it right away this time and know everything will regulate soon. It's a little tricky to figure out when to let Freddie nurse. Honestly, he's so easily distracted from it that he could probably do it much less, but I've been so engorged that sometimes I beg him to nurse to just empty a little. Phew. 

Fred holding Hattie. She was super thrilled. He loooooooves her. 

Barely fits in NB clothes.

My two babes

Here is Frederick at one day old

And Harriet at one day old

Oh man I love my babes!!!!!!

Smiths become 4 (6 with kitties!!)

Well as you know, blog of mine, my estimated due date with this second pregnancy was December the 5th, and as you further know, estimated due dates are nuts and I don't care for them much at all! So Thursday December 19th marked 42 weeks gestation for us and it meant time to get to the hospital and get this baby born. I really didn't want to do that. I feel babies will come when they are ready and we had gotten 2 ultrasounds that measured the fluid levels, placenta quality, babe movement, heartbeat, etc and we got perfect scores both times. But the problem for the wonderful women at Blossom birth center was that starting at 39 weeks my blood pressure had been slightly high and had been climbing little by little. They had done preeclampsia tests, which came back negative and I felt like a million bucks, so I thought it was all kind of dramatic. They asked I be on bed rest till the babe was born. But by Wednesday the 18th, they asked us to eat a good dinner and go in to try some natural induction methods and have a baby.

Well that all got put on hold when I got there and my blood pressure was 160. I rested, they took it again; 130. But when if got up and did anything at all it would raise again. Meanwhile I was dialated to about a 6, super soft cervix, but the surges were just tightenings, hardly noticeable. I had not experienced anything with much feeling in general in the past 2 weeks so hopes of giving birth that night were low for me. Diane came in and gave me a pelvic massage, loosening up lots of muscles and tight spots. Finally, I took a bath to relax and they had me bear down a little to see if it would progress anything at all...but they took my BP and it was 180. 

"Time to go to the hospital." 

Job 2

Job was a good man and had great integrity. Satan afflicted him with boils all over his body and he still remained faithful. His wife told him to curse God and be put out of his misery but he would not and ensured to the end. Then his friends came and comforted and mourned with him. This was mercy from God. 

Right now I am going through something hard...I have been waiting for almost 2 weeks for my baby to come. Everyday comes and goes with little or no progress. My faith has gone up and down, but God has never left me. He is there to comfort me whenever I turn to him in prayer. (Even after I have insane emotional breakdowns and say I'm giving up.) He sends my husband, parents, and friends, as angels, to mourn with me and comfort me. There are so many who call or text every day, wondering how I'm doing and if the baby is coming. Part of me has a hard time with the pressure it creates, but really I am so blessed to have so many who care and are thinking of me. :) I am continuously learning, repenting, growing, messing up, getting comfort and answers and everything all over again in this pregnancy. This baby has much to teach and add to our family. This is a very special little one.

I need to endure and have integrity. I need to have faith and patience. This will pass (it has to by Thursday!!) and we will have our new child and everything will be different and I'll have many many more lessons to learn. I can do it with God's help, with Collin, the Savior's atonement and the Holy Ghost. 

Santa Claus is coming coming

We've been asking Freddie for months, "Freddie, is mommy going to have a baby??" He finally got wise and today answered, "nope." 

Haha! I promise Fred! He or she is coming soon! 

We are all doing well. If you wonder how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking, read this article:

http://www.mothering.com/community/a/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between

And here are some photos of my love a doves. 

Mesa Christmas temple lights with my two best friends

I love being on the temple grounds with my family. Frederick and Collin and I loved the beautiful lights. They get better and better every year.

For the strength of youth

I have been studying and analyzing the for the strength of youth pamphlet for personal progress for the past few weeks. I feel so blessed to have this guidance and these standards in my life. It has given me much insight into what I can do better to make my life easier, my relationships stronger, and to be a confident strong daughter of God.

I wish for my young women to make and accomplish these goals because I love them very much and know it will bless their lives. I also desire for my family and especially my children to become familiar with and live these standards. We will work in then together! We are a very blessed people and church. We are never alone. We are never in the dark. We have every resource given to us and it starts with personal, sincere, humble prayer to our Heavenly Father. 

Good night!

Link:

https://www.lds.org/youth/for-the-strength-of-youth?lang=eng

Dates schmates!!

It's kind of weird going "over" the estimated due date. I've gotten a little anxious at times. But then I remember how strongly I believe it is just an estimation...and that it's normal for babies to come two weeks before that date to two weeks after. 

And thank goodness my only side effect is being tired...I feel great and I'm not swollen and I get to sleep tons during the day and take at least one bath a day thanks to my mom, friends and especially my husband taking such good care of Frederick and me. (Oh yeah...and thanks to Sesame Street too, ha!)

Collin got me a push gift of gorgeous alphabet notecards in gray and orange (colors I've been loving this time around for nursery, clothes, blankets, etc). His card mentioned that each day brings us closer to our new baby and growing family. I love that perspective!!! Each day is not taking us further from the due date and being "overdue," but each day brings us closer to the date my babe is ready to be born and our exciting new life together!!! Thank you Collin!!!! for not only supporting me, but for feeling strongly about these things and keeping me calm, helping me reframe any situation into a positive one, and for being on my side!

We are chill. This babe will come when he or she intends, it will be a beautiful, happy day, and you all will hear about it. Oh yes, you will. ;)

If you're interested, awesome facts on how labor gets started:

Update in pictures

Lots of photos. Putting them on my blog and cleaning up space for lots of baby pictures coming soon 8)

Uncle Joseph football banquet.

Birthing playlist

Here are links to each song on my birthing playlist. I listen to them and all anxieties float away and I'm left happy, comforted, confident.

You are My Sister, Antony and the Johnsons

Spiralling, Antony and the Johnsons

Beautiful Things Can Come from the Dark, Azure Ray

In My Life, The Beatles

Puet-etre que je t'aime, Francoise Hardy

I Can't Help Falling in Love with You, Elvis Presley

Birthing affirmations, Marie Mongan

^^buddies already 

^^^Above was this morning, at Collin's work. They had a sweet little Happy Baby Smith party and breakfast and invited Frederick and me!! It was so nice to meet Collin's new co workers and see the office. It's so beautifully decorated for Christmas, which warmed my heart even more.