Babies babies 1, 2, 3

Name that one day old babe. 

Name that panda babe. 

Name that sweet sweater onesie babe. 

Sister love?

Hattie: (as I'm putting Ella to sleep and shushing her and trying to keep her from squeezing E) "when the sun is up and Ella is up I'll touch her and hug her and lick her and bite her!!" (In the most dramatically separate Anne of green gables voice ever.) and then oracles out into the hallway to spin and dance. 

Hahhaa....this girl.  😬😂

Charity

Moving is always an emotional thing. And we really do it a lot, it seems!! Today we gave talks in sacrament and were released from our callings and said goodbye to Capitol Hill Ward. Here is my talk I gave on Charity. 

We moved here from Phx about a year ago for Collin's job; he works for the church with Family Search. 

We are going to be moving out of the ward this week to a house in Sandy, and although it's sad for us to leave this ward, I have faith and know that it is where God wants us to be right now.  We are excited for what the future will bring. We have loved living in this area; it's been a wonderful experience for my family and for me.  I love seeing the temple every single day and waking up to the Capitol building right out our front door. 

I love meeting here in this beautiful church every Sunday. I love our ward. In this short time we have lived here, it feels like home. It feels like this is our family. You are our neighbors and our friends. 

When we moved here a year ago it was on a leap of faith. We had received strong impressions to take this job and move into this area. It's wasn't easy moving to a brand new place that we weren't familiar with at all, to a house we had only seen on the Internet, then within a month, finding out I was pregnant, and dealing with the long cold sometimes lonely days of winter for the first time in many years.  we had to find people to watch our kids for different things and had our third child. We were able to deal with all of this because we were shown so much charity from people in this ward.

The Book of Mormon says charity is the pure love of Christ, it

suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

We felt welcomed here right away. we  jumped in and got involved and started to meet people. 

Then only 2 months after we moved here, the stake was reorganized. I was kind of wondering how it would be to pretty much start over with a new ward.  the Christmas party was right after that and I remember so well, bishop Clayton really setting the tone and welcoming everyone together as a ward family and encouraging us to meet someone new. We met tons of new people that day. There was so much love, acceptance and faith. The activities in the ward and relief society have been geared towards getting to know and serve each other. I have felt sisterhood and brotherhood. I have made lifelong friends through visiting teaching. 

We have loved serving in our callings and going to choir. The choir director and choir members have become our close friends. Freddie comes to choir with me and he is such a good boy. He sits quietly and helps as much as he can. Roger gives him a jobs to hand out the music and be his helper. I am so grateful for the love and charity that has been extended to my children. The primary leaders are examples of the pure love of Christ every week. It can't be easy to not only take care of so many kids but also teach our children the gospel. My kids love primary. They love CTR 4 and nursery. They love their teachers and their classmates. They love Jesus. They learn about love and being a good person and following our savior. 

My daughter, Hattie, asks me all week long if it's time to go to nursery. 

In the past few months since giving birth to my baby, we have had an immense outpouring of love and support with people bringing meals, stopping by to say hello, offering to watch my kids or asking how they can help, texting to ask how we are and talking with and listening to us. 

Thank you to everyone who has helped us. I have a pile of thank you cards to write and I'm sorry I haven't gotten a chance to finish them but know We are thankful and that we know who you are and that you have made a huge difference in our lives. 

Life is beautiful and life is also hard. My point is that when we show each other charity which is pure love, when we forgive each other and help each other and genuinely listen to each other, we are serving Christ and following him and making it easier to get through this journey. 

In general conference this past April,  Stephen W. Owen, Young Men General President said:

-There will be times when the path ahead seems dark, but keep following the Savior. He knows the way; in fact, He is the way. The more earnestly you come unto Christ, the more deeply you will desire to help others experience what you have experienced. Another word for this feeling is charity, “which [the Father] hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ.” Then you will find that in the very act of following Christ, you are also leading others to Him, for in the words of President Thomas S. Monson, “As we follow that Man of Galilee--even the Lord Jesus Christ--our personal influence will be felt for good wherever we are, whatever our callings.”

The people in this ward are in all different seasons of our lives. I have met people I have almost everything in common with, people super different from me, and all in between. We all have something to offer each other and all have struggles within ourselves. As we show charity and receive charity, we are bonded together, as children of God. 

Its not always easy to have charity. Maybe it's easy with your best friend but what about your tantruming toddler at the end of a long day? What about your spouse when he or she leaves the kitchen gadget out of place for the hundredth time or says something that offends you. Or that neighbor who hasn't cleaned up his leaves? Or the cashier who is being rude. Or the coworker who you just don't see eye to eye with? It's not always easy to cut people slack let alone LOVE THEM with the pure love of Jesus Christ! But we have to. 

Moroni 7

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail--

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.

Wherefore, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, 

So to have charity We have to be open to inspiration and we can pray for patience and long suffering. We can pray for understanding and for the ability to love others. 

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have shown me an abundance of charity. When the recent inspiration first came to us about moving to a home with some things we needed for our family at this time in our lives, we started looking and realized that we would most likely have to leave Capitol Hill. I started questioning it right away. I didn't want to leave. For the first time in my life I was holding on instead of just accepting a new adventure. But I didn't want to feel this way so I prayed to Heavenly Father for help. He answered my prayers in some very specific ways. Then after months of looking, and the emotional roller coaster of finding a new place to live, we had a few places to choose from. My husband and I prayed together and separately and talked and talked and talked and weighed different options. We were confused! Collin went to the temple and he found peace and clarity. 

-now, side note, neither Collin nor I have never been the types to say, "hey I got this inspiration; this is what we should do; just support me and let's go for it."

We usually bring it up and ask the other person to pray about it and get his own answer.  I don't know if it's because we just don't want the blame if something goes wrong or what, but when we turn to God, we always somehow get on the same page. 

Sometimes it's months and months later, but that's ok!

So he had gone to the temple and felt that one of the houses was the right one.  But I wasn't quite there. I had had some specific things I was looking for and kept feeling so overwhelmed and thinking about how much work it was going to be to pack and move and how much work it would be getting my kids to activities from farther away and for Collin to be further from work. Then I prayed to God for peace and clarity and I read the Book of Mormon. This is what I read: (in 3 Nephi 27, and Jesus is speaking)

Verily I say unto you they have joy in their works for a season, and by and by the end cometh, 

I came into the world to do the will of my Father, because my Father sent me.

And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil--

I felt the spirit tell me that this was my work and that I am so blessed to be able to have this time to raise my children and I'm so lucky that I get to drive them to school. This is the season of life I'm entering into now and this is the work God sent me here to do. And we are so blessed to have had this awesome year here and to be guided by the spirit to continue on our path. 

because of the amount of love and charity Christ has for us, he came to earth to do the work that God sent him to do. He came to live and atone and die for us on the cross and to be resurrected so that we can also be resurrected and live with our families and friends and him and God forever if we choose to be faithful. 

2 Nephi 2:

Wherefore, redemption cometh in and through the Holy Messiah; for he is full of grace and truth.

Behold, he offereth himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit; and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered.

I am grateful to the Savior for what he has done for me and the example he is. 

I'm grateful for our father in heaven for the lessons he teaches me, and forgiveness he continuously extends to me. for the relationship we have, that he guides me through the spirit. 

I have been able to learn so much  from living here and have made some amazing lifelong friends. 

I know God loves us. I know Jesus Christ loves us and that charity is what we need to have to follow him. 

In the name of Jesus Christ amen. 

...Views from my walk home. "Old Rock Church"

Down Main Street and the SLC Temple

Pioneer Museum. This was one of the first things that got me weeping with joy and gratitude when we first moved here.  

Corner house with the hill. When we first moved here and went on walks everyday, the kids would climb up and over and in winter, slide down in the snow. Hattie could barely do it.  So much can change in a year, huh. Eventually kids came out of the house to see who was sliding down and we met three boys and their family who lived there. We became friends with them because of my friendly kids. 

Ensign peak over the Capitol Lawn and through these trees. 

Our house. Our sweet lovely little cottage that has been everything we have needed it to be his past year. But look at that busy street and no garage or parking or fenced yard. To the suburbs we go!!!!

Above my beloved Capitol Building. 

Below my first born who will be 5 in a few weeks. 

While packing I go through my keepsakes

My heart is so completely full tonight as I have been reading through cards from friends in the few years before meeting Collin to cards of congratulations for our wedding. Did that world of handmade cards and penpals and sharing our hearts really exist? It seems like a dream and light years away. 

But here, in my hands, the living proof. We had time to write birthday cards and send thank yous for no reason other than we loved each other. My heart is full to spilling over reading the words of friends and family members who are so so so far away. Who I wish I could embrace right now. Each of them. A different life that was. Lifetimes away. Flagstaff and Africa and Florida and DC and Provo and grandparents and birthday after birthday card. My mom has written me faithfully my whole life and now my kids get cards from her. And I married a man who's mother and father still send cards too. My heart is full, reading their words. Handmade cards, those silly cute ones with card board foam pictures on the front. A dog in a party dress. Anniversary notes. So many Halloween and Valentine's Day cards. I feel so..... loved. I feel I matter to people. I'm reminded of my love, my deep deep love for Collin and for my friends and family. So many kind and thoughtful people. So many different people who I have known and loved. So many different stories. My mind is blown; my heart is packed tightly. I feel an emense amount of gratitude. And longing to get back in touch. Write real letters instead of just comments on social media. I want them to know they really really matter to me. 

After church picnic today in the grass

Moving moving moving

Well, we are moving!!! So many thoughts and big big feelings. I'm so sad to leave my ward. I look around and these people have been my family for the past year. They are my neighbors and friends. I will keep in touch with many of them through social media, luckily, but it will be hard to not see them every day/week. And this beautiful chapel and ward building!!! What a blessing it has been. I remember our first Sunday here. We had just moved in the night before and were wrinkled and sleepy and so many people welcomed us. That night, the Bishop Garbett and Duran Lucas came and visited us. We felt so much peace and hat we were in the right place. The house we have lived in has been wonderful. It's cute and fun and has served every purpose. My children have been kept safe. We have enjoyed this beautiful neighborhood, walking to the temple and temple square all the time, seeing it every day. Waking up to the captiol building outside our windows and exploring the buildings and playing on the grass, and going to fun events like yoga and movies at the Capitol. We have loved being so close to Collins work and having him home so early.

We have a bucket list for the next week and a half to do all our favorite things and a few new things before we go.

I know God brought us to this area for a reason. 

We are so excited for our new opportunity and home in Sandy. We will have a big yard with trees and a garden and a neighborhood with tons of families and children. We will be within walking distance to two parks and close to a library. We will be farther than I'd like from Freddie's school and music school, but I have learned for myself that it is Gods will that we move to Sandy. I had to pray hard and then to God and let his will be my will.

This is what I read in answer to my prayers. I was wanting to be closer to the school and feeling the weight of moving... Feeling it was and would be too much work...I prayed for clarity. 

3 Nephi 27: (Christ talking to the Nephites)

11 But if it be not built upon my gospel, and is built upon the works of men, or upon the works of the devil, verily I say unto you they have joy in their works for a season, and by and by the end cometh, and they are hewn down and cast into the fire, from whence there is no return.

14 And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil--

I feel peace and excited about this change. I know it will be hard work to move and hard work to get my kids to all their activities and hard work to raise them in the gospel. But I know I must find joy in his season of my life. I am so blessed to have children to take to school. What a nice time we will have together traveling, talking, growing closer, eating, sharing, sleeping. I will try to stay positive!!!

Now to pack up our whole crazy house, change and set up utilities, changed our address everywhere, and MOVE. 

Me right now

Having a rough time w my Hattie. Her tantrums are hard. She fights me with everything. She won't go to bed or stay in her room. She is so aware and remembers our qualms and is hurt by them. I feel I'm screwing up so badly w our relationship. Ella is sick/congested/gassy and won't stop crying and moving around in her sleep. And so tonight I missed Freddie's tball game to take care of them and it crushed him that I wasnt there. He loves tball even more that soccer it looks like. Just a discouraging evening. And so so so many changes coming. I should be excited but I feel nervous and down. Collin is so far away and life feels so overwhelming. I need to simplify and figure out what everyone needs somehow. 

Ever have a day like this???????

It will be ok. Turning to the scriptures and Ensign now. And looking at these pictures helps some hurt melt away. 

Big latch on 2016!

This weekend is the annual big latch on and we found an awesome group to join today in Lehi. My big kids had a great time playing with all the other big kids, too! I love this awesome breastfeeding community! 

Some baby mama yoga 

Hattie stayed close. She and Freddie have grown so fast. 

Lindsey of Lactation Link. 

We both had our baby girls (and third children and first home births) on May 14th!

I won the drawing yahoo!!

Freddie at 11 months at our First Big Latch On! 2012. 

Beautiful baby Harriet at 8 months. 

The big latch on last year in Flagstaff

World BF week 2016!!

That moment there's a super strong let down you're like, "what the heck mom?!"

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!!!

Growing babes.

Hattie in her personal prayer tonight: "thank you for our new friends and bless them. And bless that we don't have to leave next time and we can stay together with them forever and ever."

And Freddie let me know that tonight after he read his verse [of scripture] he got frustrated and thought in his head that he wanted to hit Hattie two times but he stopped and thought, "no, I'm not going to do that, I'm going to use my words instead." 

He went on to tell me that when I get frustrated I can do the same thing. I love him. Love his wisdom. 

These happened tonight as we all laid in their bed before sleep. Bedtime can seem never ending and stressful sometimes but it can also be my favorite time with them. I love our pillow talk. Love my bubs. Ella, you're adorable.