Birth Story

Have you seen or heard of this new documentary, Birth Story, about midwife, Ina May Gaskin? Gentle, natural births are becoming more and more common and even if that's not your cup of tea, it's still important to get everyone aware of it. I want to dispel the negative myths about delivering at a birth center or at home, in a tub or on a stool. I want people to know that it's not weird or dangerous. It's beautiful and natural, comfortable and peaceful. It's safe and normal. I gave birth completely free of any pain killers or drugs, and it was amazing. More than calling it painful, I call it intense, but also the most incredible experience of my life as I worked with my body and my baby to bring him into the world. (I also used Hypnobirthing, which helped immensely with relaxation, having zero fear, and working with and through the contractions instead of tensing up and fighting against them.) The hardest part was recovering (I had no external tears and no complications...just a normal recovery) and everyone has to go through that one way or another.

So here is this documentary about women and birth and community and love. Please watch and re-post and consider donating to ensure that this film reaches as many people as possible.

"Anything you can give will help us birth this film—it’s an exciting time for independent documentaries and also a challenging one—funding sources have dried up and the market is harder than ever, especially for women-centered films. But we believe the time is right to present a movie that celebrates women and their bodies, that honors what we can accomplish when we work together in community, and that shows childbirth the way we never see it in the mainstream media—unadorned, unabashed, and awe-inspiring."

--Sara Lamm and Mary Wigmore, Birth Story Filmmakers

Click here to back this project

what a day...

ups and downs.

collin gave me the sweetest support and love and priesthood blessing this morning as I continue into pregnancy. I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. nausea but no vomiting. and the nausea only lasted 2 months. stretch marks, yes, but healthy me and healthy babe. fine to drive across the country 3 times, move twice, continue to be mobile etc. I've signed up at a great birth center and am excited to have a natural, exciting, loving, gentle birth. i never wanted to find out the sex, and we didn't, and it's been awesome, and i probably won't next time either. or ever. lately i've just gotten a bit overwhelmed with the weight. it's harder to move, get in and out of bed, walk, etc. I've continued to swim and do yoga, which help a lot. But I'm also so tired and take frequent naps during the day. my feet get pretty puffy too....but if I keep them up at night, they don't get too bad. so basically I have a really normal, healthy pregnancy....just some of the little things are catching up with me at 38 weeks. like insane itchiness!!!! Phew!! :) Collin's love for me and his hard work everyday inspire me to work hard and be a better woman. (i'm also trying to keep the baby in the "best position," so I try to lean over all the time....and I washed my whites in the tub today. by hand. I'll never do it again because it took forever and it wasted a lot of water. but cool. I did it. the kitties thought I was nuts.)

sadly, cs was in a small car accident today on the way to work. he's fine; the car's fine....no ticket...no fault...etc. just shaken up and had a hard frazzled day. when he came home he brought burritos from our fav place near our house. he had some cuts and bruises on his arm and hand. so sad!!!!! we spent the night snacking, playing games (I won), and watching SVU. we love SVU. but gotta stop after so many episodes...it gets in your brains....

The kitties. okay. so they play fight. it is usually fine. but sometimes they get a little carried away. today Dot was on the top of the kitty tree about to sleep and monte jumped up there and started fighting. they get aggressive on that tree. Dot let out a little cry and I jumped up to separate. monte backed down and squinted his eye like it hurt, and dot had a pierce in her cheek with a tiny blood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost started crying. I grabbed Monte and held him and hugged him and then Dot. it makes me scared and sad that they can't tell the difference of going too far right now. they spent the rest of the day apart and sleeping mostly. :( :(

my dad. goes in for heart surgery to patch the hole on Tuesday. I'll be there with my mom when he wakes up. he's going for this new procedure where they go in through a large vein in groin and go up with an umbrella type thing. it hopefully fits and can open inside and close the hole for life. If it doesn't work or the hole is too big, they will back out, wake him up and schedule open-heart surgery. I know whatever is supposed to happen will, but I'm praying for the umbrella to work.

Dot also has surgery to be spayed that day. I'm dreading it because monte had such a hard time when he went through it. plus she has to not eat the day before and has to have special litter for a week or so etc. it's really hard to do all this with two kitties when one gets to have everything normal. I am a firm believer that babies come when they are good and ready and when it's the best time for them and the mom, but that's one day I'd be nervous of little one coming. I'll still love you if you choose it though, skit.

my mom and cousin came over and helped me paint the baby's place today! it's so cute! I love it. not done yet, but when it is, there will be pictures.

okay, time for sleep. after pictures. tomorrow is the first day since we've lived here that there isn't something planned with us or work or family or something. so we're going to sleep in, eat a delicious breakfast and then discover our neighborhood shops. romantical, no?

 sun bathing. what a princess model

big cat!

AZ Science Center! Anne attacks!!

can't see ya

food digestion. anne helping.

whoa....everyone has always said that my mom and I are identical....i never 

believed, but now I do...so crazy. every other line is her then me. 

Dbacks with Collin and work people. 

totally forgot to take a picture inside or of the field.

Made mini donuts from scratch. 

with whole wheat, duh.

missionaries came and Dot was obsessed with their 

backpacks. seriously rubbing her face all over it and 

loving it and him. he was a cat-lover, himself. 

nighty.

ps. so netflix changed to the new rates. what did everyone decide? instant streaming? or DVD? or both? 

hi hi

dad's at home and recovering. he gets weak sometimes, but overall he's much much better. he has been going on walks with my mom the past 2 days. last night my mom had something to do, so collin and I went over there and watched a movie with my dad. It's amazing and wonderful and tender to me how much our relationship has changed in one week. the stupid petty stuff we used to argue about disappeared. I used to always think my dad and I "just saw things differently." "didn't and wouldn't ever understand each other." even that the only way for  us to get along was for me to "just let go of all that and be on my best behavior" type of thing.

it's not true. we have much in common, in how we express ourselves, how we want to be heard, our testimonies of the gospel, our pride, our humility, our humor, our feelings of failure, our love for our family and for where we are in the moment. When I was sitting in the bathtub on Thursday, the day before he even went into the hospital, I was so scared of what could possibly happen, and I was crying and regretting so much wasted time. a whole 27 years I could have just been LAUGHING, learning from and having fun with my dad, (he really is a funny guy.) but in the hospital things got real, and in the heat of the moment, I stayed calm; I held his hand; I was given strength and he was fighting too. he remembers a time while he was "out" when he opened both eyes and couldn't find my mom (she and collin had gone to get us food), but he knew I was there and that I was holding his hand. it was that moment I mentioned before. We are so much more forgiving of each other. he is so soft and so kind. he is quick to say "I love you," and "I'm glad you came." He bragged to his friends about how I'm going to give birth in the water. (And up to now I figured he was happy about the pregnancy, but he was never vocal about it to me.)

I feel like this is really how family is supposed to treat each other. not holding each other to ridiculous standards or expectations, blaming, getting our feelings hurt so easily, or holding grudges. Just forgiving, loving, building each other up, making each other feel as good as possible. Don't get me wrong, I'm still struggling with those things....even with my 2 best friends: Collin and my mom.

I know lots of people go through things like this and have hard times, so I don't want to be any more dramatic than necessary, but I just feel really blessed and feel really happy and feel like healing and forgiving are real. you can move on and live life and enjoy the time we have from here on out. So dad will have another surgery soon, and that one is a lot more nerve racking, but I know it'll be okay. I was also inspired in the middle of the night to come up with a bunch of questions for my dad. Although he's a big story-teller and I've heard a lot of the same ones over and over, there are things I don't know about him. I've been sending him a couple of quiestions at a time. I want to make it all into a story of him or something. I just want future generations to really know him!

Today: appointment at Blossom

birth will be

collin and I have slept and relaxed all day. for lunch I made us smoothies and put tons of protein powder in them....I'm supposed to have 80-100 grams per day and it's hard sometimes. the P powder made them gross, but I chugged mine anyway. Collin was sweet and ate a few bites. then made himself some lunch.

our midwife and doc gives us birth videos to watch for homework after each appointment. they are all pretty good, but some are better than others. we watched one today that was really great. mostly waterbirths. I just love seeing positive happy birth stories. I know everything is going to go so well because i'm going to be with collin. he's so supportive. this is going to be an emotional, passionate, amazing, wonderful, intimate, happy, life-changing experience.

Dot sat in collin's lap and slept mostly while we watched the video. she is the cuddliest kitten EVER! It's the best. she kept waking up and looking at the screen with each birth when the baby would cry. hehe. cute.
and Monte is such a teenager and hardly cuddles anymore, but still lets us know he loves us. I love that big boy so much.

true happiness and a little stress.

i was laying there in birth class yesterday, instructor starting another relaxation exercise, and as I was breathing and relaxing, babe was moving around so much. the happiest feeling just came over my entire body. i would rub back and s/he'd move and back and forth and back and forth. and then "collin and i are going to have a kid! What the heck!?!" i forgot everything bad ever and was just glad. beaming. it felt really good.

is this true happiness?

poor collin took a Vicodin that morning for the muscle pain he's been experiencing and then he ran to the instructor's bathroom and threw up in the sink. my brother came and got him luckily, and then i watched the most amazing water birthing video in my life. it was about women in Russia. man they were calm. this one woman just was so patient. the head came out and then she just waited, calmly, for the rest to come on its own instead of forcing or pushing. it really seemed to be less uncomfortable. i want to do that.

so with the true happiness comes a little stress: collin being sick and my dad having some heart issues. everyone please pray for them/send positive thoughts.

water birth

This is the woman we met with at our new birth center. Mary. She is one of two delivering women. 

"Our experience with Mary was more then we expected. We decided to have our first child at home and chose her to be our midwife. Right from the start I felt I had an amazing connection with her. I decided to do co-care in the begining and saw an OB-GYN. I'm glad in a way that I did do that because I got to see both sides. To the doctor I was just an appointment. The doctor spent maybe 3-5 minutes with me.

With Mary it was the complete opposite. We watched informational videos and she made sure all of our questions and concerns were addressed. We discussed our fears with her and she listened and made us feel better about them by how knowledgeable she is. She is such an amazing person, I'm so glad to have met her she has made such an impact on my life and has made us see birth so much differently from what we are accustomed to.

The birth of our son Micah was everything we wanted and more, it was so liberating and Mary will be there for the future kids to come!

Thank you Mary for everything, you are such a blessing." 

That was my experience with the doctor in MD to a T. It makes me emotional to think about it.  I'm so excited about this!!

The benefits of water birth:

http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://www.marythemidwife.com/waterbirth.html

Water Babe!!! I can't wait!

A visit to the birthing center

Tonight we visited the birthing center in Annapolis. I had the best experience. The people were so warm and extremely knowledgeable and I just felt so good about it all. They answered ALL of my questions. I could have cried out of happiness.

I'm going to do it! As long as my pregnancy stays healthy, I'm going to have a water birth in a birth center with a midwife! I feel great. My husband has taken his role as protector really seriously, which is pretty cute. My mom and brother had a great experience too.

Family oriented. Mother and Baby skin to skin. As little medical intervention as possible. Giving birth is not a sickness, but can be a wonderful experience. I'm pretty much getting excited. I loved seeing all the pregnant moms (also on the tour) with their bellies all different sizes.