From the article, Be At Peace, by D Todd Christopherson:

When we talk about the birth of Jesus Christ, we appropriately reflect on what was to follow. His birth was infinitely significant because of the things He would experience and suffer so that He might better succor us--all culminating in His Crucifixion and Resurrection (see Alma 7:11–12). But His mission also included the beauty of His service, the miracles of His ministry, the relief He brought to the suffering, and the joy He offered--and still offers--to the mourning.

“They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.

“For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes” (Revelation 7:16–17)

just sit with the Lord and let Him warm you like a fire in winter. You don’t have to be perfect or the greatest person who ever graced the earth or the best of anything to be with Him.

‘Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid’ [John 14:27].”

Overwhelming

I have been SO OVERWHELMED and stressed and guilt-ridden and regretful (at times), even depressed at times in the last 6 months. Having two kids has been beyond hard for me. It has pushed me to my limits and then the thought that this could be it has sadened me too. I won't get into every detail because I don't have the time but it has been very hard. But I've always said I wouldn't want it any other way and  I love my children and am so grateful to be a mother. 

It's been difficult to see past challenges for me. Plus with stuff happening w family members' health and stuff friends are going through...I've never felt the temptations of satan so real. But miraculously, I also have never felt so real the love of God and the Holy Ghost telling me to hold on, with whatever I've got. 

This past Sunday I spoke in church about how temples and ordinances give strength to overcome trials. I feel renewed. I know that life is hard and is always going to be that way. But I can find peace, refuge and strength to overcome. I know this is right and I know I can do it. 

Compassion

"I've never met a mother who doesn't deserve truckloads of compassion."
-Buddhism for Mothers

I read this today and instantly melted because I have been feeling so emotionally and have been trying hard to let go of things and be positive and forgiving, but find myself sometimes still in the face of frustration and anger and jealousy. When I read this I felt like I wished certain people would extend compassion to me. But then I realized I need to be extending this compassion to all other mothers and future mothers I'm in contact with.

And I need to be extremely grateful for the wonderful, ever compassionate women in my life currently, even if they are far away and I miss them so much.

Another, more successful try

Got up extra early
Plenty of time to get us all ready
Many prayers aloud and in my heart
Pleading for a heart to heal and comfort for us all. Peace.
Bye daddy, then lay back, close to me, all eyes shut, suck suck suck. I drifted off, only 10 minutes had passed.
It's time. Pack up, out the door, bites of muffin, on the road. The sidewalk. The road; there isn't sidewalk, explaining all the way.
Insuring
Promising
Preparing.
Through doors, early so I could play and show him it's fun. A few tears, but they stop because it IS fun and Candy, the babysitter, is nice. We play basketball. Happy!
Its time.
Hug, kiss, vain reassurance, then gone, left, out, behind, alone.
Class starts,

breathing
Deeply
In
Out
Familiar
Lay down
Balance
breathe
Struggle
Sweat

It's been too long
My mind is free
Everything weighing so heavily lifts from my soul, heart, brain, up my throat, stinging, almost crying.
Then calm. Peace. Hard work. Why did I leave you?
Good.
Done.
Back to my world. Hugs. Mine eager; his tearful.
United
Home
Suck suck suck. Eyes drifting. Breath slowing.

Downton Abbey tonight.....spoiler alert...

...man that was horrible. It's hard to think of a time when a cesarean wasn't the norm. There has got to be a balance between not using unnecessary interventions in child birth, and using technology to save lives. Natalie, I see what you were saying about anxiety. I want to just trust and go with the flow and know it will happen when it's the right time.

These things must happen:

Yoga

Hypnobirthing for naps

Peace in my home

Focusing on being the best mother I can be to Frederick, my son

I thought i had escaped the sicknesses going around but Sunday I woke up puking my guts out (good bye 7-year no-vomit streak...grrr...I'll beat you one day, Jerry Seinfeld) and I've felt awful since. Frederick is just fine. He's had an incredible immune system! Breast milk...it's amazing!! Today was spent in bed but tomorrow we go out. Good night. And I leave you with this little dance number.

I'm going there someday...

Right after Christmas, while my brothers were here, we wanted to go to the temple together as a family. Collin and I love to go, but have had a harder time getting there with Collin's work schedule and leaving Fred with a sitter...NO EXCUSE!! A young lady in my moms ward (whom I used to babysit) would come and watch Fred in the visitors center while went in. The date was set and of course that day was full of stresses and disappointments, almost enough to keep me from going. But we made it there! And then after a few more crazy things we didn't actually make it to a session....but we made it TO the temple and I felt peace and love from my Heavenly Father because of it.

 

An evening at the temple

Since having a baby, it's been a bit more challenging getting to the temple. But we love and miss being there often, so we have come to terms with not always being able to go together and decided that we would start going every couple of weeks and switching off one of us going in and one of us hanging out with Freddie outside. That way we both get to be at the temple.

The other night, Collin did a session while I hung out with Freddie. We Skyped with dear, Anne Costa, in DC now, we went to the visitor's center and looked at really beautiful paintings of Jesus's life, and we walked around the grounds of the temple. It was so peaceful, so wonderful, so spiritual for me. I love my little son as a date, and I was so glad Collin got to be in the temple, and that that is important to him.

Here are some nice little pictures.

How I feel after reading "Fear Not" in the December Ensign

SO GOOD! Peace. Comfort. Love.

Read: Fear Not