Crunchy brown leaves

The air is beautiful and very very crisp. We four wtake long walks to the pocket park and talk while she snoozes snug in the wrap next to my heart and he drives his big trucks through the leaves. We plan and peel clementines and eat dry cereal.

I love all of my children equally, except the one who is napping--I love that one more.

Today was sort of my first day alone. I had forgotten that things might be hard and they were. I was a little stressed and worried when they both threw up and Frederick stepped on Harriet's head. She let out big cries and big tears. Freddie felt very badly and said he was sorry. I realized i won't be doing much besides keeping them both safe and alive for now. I was saying no a lot to him--too much, and vow to try to say yes more. He really does love her and my heart melts for all of them, especially Collin. I wish he knew how much. 

Last night, while looking around at our disgustingly messy home, half-folded laundry, dishes piled high in the sink, toys everywhere, I asked him if this is how he pictured his life. He said yes! He couldn't be happier about it!

I'd better close my eyes while these two nap right now. We might try to go outside later. :)