Northern country, AZ

We had an incredible time driving up north last weekend for Martin Luther king jr day. We didn't have much more of a plan than to stop whenever we felt like. We ended up going to Arcosanti and montezuma castle and a few other places along the way.

Let me tell you, this is the best kind of road trip with kids. Not too far and lots of stops with places to run and play and eat along the way. Fred had a great time. We all did. 

^^sweet brother, holding Hattie's hand.

Sweet

Sweet Salvage adventure with smiths and smiths.

Christmas all over

We had another little Christmas with the smiths after they got here. On our "Christmas Eve," we spent time baking a little, wrapping presents, shopping for treats and last minute gifts, and listening to and singing Christmas songs. Collin and his dad said they even were telling people Merry Christmas!! Man, it FELT like Christmas again!!!! Hehe. The next morning we got up and ate a delicious breakfast and opened gifts. There were many family heirlooms passed down, as well as things for Freddie and Hattie from Collins childhood, which was very special. Thank you, lulu and pops!

We played boggle and Collin won! (Grrrr)

Lulu and Popsi-o are here!!!

Collins parents are in town and we are happier than ever to spend lots of time with them. We've already had tons of adventures so I'm going to try to keep up with the blog a little along the way.

They fell in love with Hattie at first sight and have been having a blast with their old buddy, Freddie. 

By the way, my children melt my heart (and try my patience) everyday. They are growing physically, emotionally, spiritually. 

Neither of their pants fit anymore!

Sweet lil round head

She's tiny

Big brother.

It's such a change going from having just Freddie to two kids. It's sad to think Freddie won't ever have only my attention every day ever again. But we are all adjusting and he's doing awesome. That kid is resilient. I try to have patience in general but lose it with him sometimes. He's such a good boy. He is pushing boundaries and learning about his place in this world. So sometimes he pushes my buttons or doesn't listen and I get frustrated---then feel so badly I want to cry and die and hope and pray he doesn't feel like he's been replaced or is bad or that I'm upset with him.

So many emotions!!! Phew!!!

Yesterday was one of these times and I got so upset. Then I felt so guilty but at the same time didn't want to go back on discipline I'd threatened. Ah it's so hard parenting and knowing what to do. I cried a little, and let me tell you, this kid is so aware of peoples emotions and what's going on. He immediately melted and tried comforting me and even told me, with his adorable face and huge blue eyes and shoulders shrugged with hands in the air,  "milky isn't for Freddie! Only for babies!" He thought this would make me feel better, hehe. I didn't know what to do besides hold him and hug him, tell him I'm sorry and that he's such a good boy and makes me so happy. He told me, "I'm soddy (sorry), mommy." Oh man that boy. I love him so much. He teaches me everyday about patience, forgiveness, love, and respect. 

He loves Hattie. He really doesn't show signs of jealousy or dislike for her. He says he wants to see baby or Hattie all the time. He wants uppy baby (to hold her!!) allllllll the time. He can't stop grinning while he looks at her. He holds her hand while they tandem nurse. He rubs her head and pats her tummy and gets really close to her face to play or kiss her or squish noses. It all makes me super nervous at times because he can't control himself so well, but I try to let go of the stuff that's not dangerous. 

Hattie seems to really like Frederick, too. She grins right back and him. When he overwhelms her she gives him concerned looks, and will let me know with her tears or cries that it's too much. 

I love my babes so much. Fred spent the night at my moms last night. He packed his little monkey suitcase and left with her, yelling, "bye, mommay!!!!" The whole way. It's so fun for him to have  something different and to be with his grandparents and uncle. And sure it's super easy to just take care of a newborn...but I miss that little bug. I have this empty feeling in my heart, without him. Can't wait to see him, later today!!!

Spice

Harriet Jillian, I couldn't eat any spicy foods during my pregnancy with you...my tummy just couldn't handle it. So I gave birth to you and magically I could eat spice again....but I finally figured out why you've been so fussy and not sleeping the past day and night...you just can't take spicy foods and you get them through my milk.

So...for the next xxx amount of years that I nurse you I won't be eating spicy foods. 

I still love you. ;)

Love, mama. 

Crunchy brown leaves

The air is beautiful and very very crisp. We four wtake long walks to the pocket park and talk while she snoozes snug in the wrap next to my heart and he drives his big trucks through the leaves. We plan and peel clementines and eat dry cereal.

REVIEW of 2013!

Collin and Frederick are going out on a date and little Hattie Hat is snoozing in my lap, so I'm going to spend a few moments reflecting on our year. I always like doing this because it reminds me of all the great times we've had and the many many many ways we've been blessed.

Collin, Mommy, and Frederick, New Years Eve 2012

First off, here's a list of goals I made for this year. I give myself 8 points (on a scale that doesn't make sense). Pretty okay. Not great, but okay.

Now let's look at.....

Happy new year; happy babes

Oh my gosh, i love them so much.