The only one for me is you and you for me

5 weeks ago you came to me, Ella. 5 weeks ago I had no idea what was about to happen or the special little girl I was about to meet. We still have so much to learn about each other, but we get to know each other more every day and I love you. This morning we were in such good moods in the quiet sunlight, everyone else still sleeping around us. (Yes, it's a family bed, folks!) I held you up so we could look into each other's eyes and we sang, well I sang, that Turtles song, so happy together and I kissed your sweet little face over and over and cooed and sang and asked you all sorts of silly things in a very silly high pitched voice, and you smiled! You were quiet, wish wise eyes and you smiled at me over and over with each kiss and question and nuzzle. You have this power over me. We have a very strong bond already. (It makes these long nights with very little sleep, worth it!! You know, when you fuss and cry and We are big exhausted and I feel I've tried everything and just plain ol' nursing doesn't solve every problem and I have no clue what to do...) I love you. You challenge me in a whole new way. You bless my life in a whole new way. Having 3 kids is interesting. You literally can't do it all. I thought i had to multitask with 2!! This is a whole new game!!! 

And Freddie and Hattie have to be more independent because I truly can't help them all. Frederick has been an incredible help to me.  And Hattie and I are growing together though we try each other EVERY MOMENT it seems. As we get through each obstacle we learn so much from each other. 

Last night we tried to go camping and packed everything and were so excited! Our first over night in Utah! Well, I didn't realize that in Utah, you'd better reserve your spots. We went to about 8 campgrounds and all were totally full. Bummer. Big big bummer. So we decided to make the most of it before heading home to sleep :(. We went to a resevoir with a sandy beach nearby and played for an hour or so. The kids got really into digging in the sand and running through the shallow waves. I nursed Ella for a while as they giggled and played. We sat on blankets and ate the snacks we had brought. Then Collin took Ella and Hattie and I went swimming. She wouldn't wear her life vest so we couldn't go very deep but we held each other and she was saying the most hilarious things about the boobies (booeys) way out there and "having so much fun, guys!" We do this, "I'll keep you save," thing with only each other. She started holding me tight and saying that a while ago at sweet moments. Hehe. Then she went back and Freddie and I went and tried to swim out to a booey. The sun had gone behind the mountains by now and it was getting cold and we were tired!! We went about 3/4 of the way out and then came back in. It was really fun laughing and talking with him, but also terrifying as I was having flashbacks of the movies Everest and Open Water, hahahahahahha. 

5 weeks together in this new life of ours and in the lovely morning light, things are going pretty good. 

Daddys

Today is Father's Day!!!!!! We celebrated this weekend by camping up in flagstaff and having a great time together. Only a couple arguments!!!! Hehe. I love you Collin, so much!!!!! You're the best partner for me and the reason i married you is because I LOVE you. You make me happy!!! You're an amazing support to me in raising our little bannanagrams. Happy Father's Day!! 

My mom spoke in church today and we went to listen. It was a beautiful talk on how righteous priesthood holders have influenced her. She told a story of when two young righteous priesthood holders in the navy shared their testimonies of the gospel of Jesus Christ to another young man. That man had had a very hard upbringing..not known about by is father, unwanted by his mother, unloved by his adopted family. But his meeting the two righteous preistholders brought him to this church where he found peace, love, friendship. He found his wife. They were married in the temple and had 7 children; one of them was my mother. 

She said because of the priesthood (literally Gods power on earth), her father taught her the gospel, she taught her kids, and now her Nikki is teaching her children. It's so amazing how our choices effect eternity. It's also scary and sobering. I love you, mom. 

Another speaker talked about our Father in Heaven. He loves us. We are asked to fear him and it's doesn't mean to be afraid but to reverence and respect. That touched my heart. 

I love my own father very much. I'm so proud of him and his service and love for others. He thinks about and puts everyone above his own needs. 

I love my father in law too. I love how he taught my husband to be interested in things, to explore and create and ask questions. 

Fathers!!!!!

Pre-Father's Day waffles

Headed up north! Camping trip 2.0!

Hattie has a TOOTH!!!! She was showing signs a month or so ago with running nose and congestion but showed nothing in the last few days--besides the usual since birth putting everything in her mouth--

Not only did we not wear seatbelts once we got to the camp ground, but we let our 2 year old drive!!!! Hahahahha probably the FUNNIEST thing I've ever experienced. He was beyond excited and almost ran us into a bunch of trees and cars. 

Hattie eating dirt. That girl!!

It was so windy and we had the BEST TIME just playing in the tent. Hehe the kids would crack up any time the wind would blow the flap on the tent.bso cute and funny. 

I had a little walk in my own. There is something about flagstaff that moves me and speaks to my soul. It brings me so much peace to be there. 

Sunset crator!!!!! So amazing! These are lava flows!!!!! We were a few of the only people there. It was so gorgeous and enlightening and bonding for us. The kids loved it. Freddie hurt his foot so was in the stroller or carried in the ergo. I love that he can still ride in that thing. These volcanoes erupted in the year 1064!!

We talked geology and I was in love with the below plants. 

Best buds 

Nursing in nature. 

Awesome tree Collin took a pic of. 

This was wutpaki. We found out that we had entrance to it as well. It was after closing but there was no problem just going in and wandering around. We were the only ones there. So so beautiful and intimate. Amazing to realize that people lived here, and so long ago. So much of it is still there. And I love that there aren't any fences, ropes or boundaries. You walk right next to the ruins and touch them. 

Oh, daddyo!

This was insane!!! This GIANT crow landed right by our car and a bunch if little birds kept swooping down, attacking it! He wouldn't fly but just kept WALKING AWAY until he finally flew out of sight. After some research we found out that these crows like to eat meat and will steal eggs and hatchlings from nests. Once they claim a territory they are there to stay so the little birds do their best to run them out of town right away. Crazy! 

The moon! And Friday the 13th!!

Next morning! It was so cold but were for because we came prepared!!! All bundled up and almost every blanket we own. Still uncomfortable on the ground and we want to get a big thick pad for camping (not an air mattress) but as long as I'm warm, I'm good. 

We had breakfast at the place--very yummy and cutie Freddie commanded the crowd with his cute limp and "I slipped at the splash pad," story. He he. 

Then off to see Joe!!! He got asked to play with the varsity football team (as an incoming sophomore). We weren't sure if he'd get any playing time but he did and scored a touchdown!!! He's such a sweet uncle and loves holding Hattie and Freddie (not usually at once and was like HELP ME!) but I love how he loves them. 

He's he only blonde one and the tallest. 

Lumberjacks. 

Horseshoe trying at Riordan mansion. Fred got his jr ranger badge from there and found out about jar openers, the old house, got to eat some cookies and hear the flagstaff band play the Star-Spangled Banner. It was the 200th anniversary of the song and at that moment (1pm--4pm EST) bands all over the country played it at the same time! So cool. 

The house was used by family members well into the 70s! They still used the old original appliances. They let Collin and Fredrick play the piano this was a wedding gift in the early 1900s. 

Kaelir's 2nd bday party back in Phx. It was Frozen themed. 

Collin and I ran over to see maleficent for a late night showing while Fred slept at my moms. It was a great time seeig it but we didn't like the movie. It was a great first 1/3rd for me but the rest was no good to us. The pacing was strange, no climax, horrible acting by Elle...it was hurt missing something. We thought Jolie was excellent in it though. We just love being in the theatre regardless. We don't get to go as often these days and it's so much fun. Hattie slept through it!!

Father's Day morning!!!!! "Let's grill!!!" -Fred 

She loves her Gpa---just doesn't want anyone but mama!

(Group texts!) Joe and Dave were in Provo right before Joe went to football camp at byu. 

Father's Day mouse pad.