Lulu and Pops do SLC!!

Collin's mom and dad came to salt lake to stay with us for two weeks! It was so much fun having them here. They are party animals. It's was great to be together for so many special occasions too...their 40th wedding anniversary, Collins bday, Easter, general conference.... 

Freddie and Hattie loved getting to know them better. Lulu and pops are amazing grandparents. 

Lulu has been working on a blanket for babe 3 and Fred loved watching her and learning all about it. 

We had lots of park time and pops is a never ending and never say no pusher on the swings. 

singing "where is Thumpkin?" At breakfast 

Easter egg dying 

A really wonderful thing we were able to do was to learn more about family history. Ludona brought a bunch of family photos are told us so much of what she knows. We loved hearing stories and seeing the faces. This is Collin's mother's father's parents. On the right is Carrie Harriet Hermann. 

Collin's bday!!!!! 35!!! More at this post here...

Easter dinner after church. More at this post here...

Hattie loved singing with lulu. 

And endless reading. My kids love reading and being read to. 

We had lots of delicious food adventures. This was a great one on a rainy day after picking Collin up for work. It was an Iraqi place and was so delicious. 

He's very very good at holding sleeping babes in restaurants. 💗💗

Lulu made this super cute crocheted crown for Hattie. H loves it. 

Eating and meeting with friends and playing at City Creek mall. 

We visited the Pioneer Museum at the end of our street. 

Twins! ;)

Crystal Hot Springs in honeyville, UT. One of our favorite places!!

And we found a great diner called Peach City with great food and service and amazing ice cream. 

Party people 

General Conference!! We got to go to the Saturday afternoon session and it was awesome. Thank you, sweet Lu, for watching the kids for us. 

40th anni dinner!!!! Ow ow!!!!!!! Got a babysitter and time to party!

Ken found this crazy AWESOME Authentic English place called Five Alls. It had great reviews but we had no clue what to expect. Well we pull up and this little door is all we see. That plus the interesting in counter win a shoeless woman outside led to much interest and confusion...we didn't know what we were getting into...

But this place was so amazing!!!!!!! Felt like we were in the Middle Ages. And the food and service so good!!!! What a fun dinner. It's was like 6 courses and took us almost 3 hours to complete. So much fun. We talked about life and marriage and parenthood.  Great time. 

Back at home the next day... more #ldsconf!!!

Get baby girl!

We went to visit ludona's brother Rick and his family for the last session on Sunday. Conference was a beautiful, hopeful, inspiring experience. I loved hearing from our prophet. 

It was a fast fun two weeks and it was hard to see them go. We all agree it's too quiet around the house without them. Freddie's favorite parts were tackling and jumping on pops every morning and crocheting with lulu. Hattie loved having pops hold her and lulu sing and read with her. I loved watching them all and playing games (beating everyone at boggle and rummikub so badly) and seeing Collin with his parents. 

I love my in laws! I'm so lucky to have such a great relationship w them. 

It has been 6 years

It's been 6 years since I woke up next to Collin for the first time. 

There's so much that's happened. We have grown, changed, gotten better and of course, worse, in some ways. It's taken me 6 years to figure a couple things out.

I'm learning to trust more, in a (more)real way. I'm learning to accept the person in the mirror and get on with it. I'm realizing things about life, marriage, children and parenting, existence, death, eternity, time, mortality, and things that don't matter, that MATTER. When I trust, don't stress, enjoy, get on the floor, dance it out, MOVE, live life to the fullest, really pay attention, I am happier. My marriage is happy. I don't feel guilty for wasting even a second with my angels. Any 4 of them (Collin, Frederick, Harriet & Dot.)

Life is such a blessing. It's a time to live, prove, obey, and serve. I'm so happy for the relationships I have. I love the people around me snd people I meet. I love making human connections and holding onto and strengthening those bonds. 

I have changed in 6 years. I'm hardly that long, thin, wild, spontaeous thing with a long mess of tangled hate that I never brushed and thought looked good (seriously?? seriously...) I'm different.  But that's life, I think! We have a long way to go!!! Its really beautiful. 

Happy holidays. I love this time of year so much. And happy 6 years, Smith. 

Five years old

It had rained all day. Here in Phoenix, it's sunny. And if it rains, it's just a little. But this had been all day.

The streets were wet and gorgeous and blurry. We were bundled up, holding hands, nothing/no one between. 

We left our world behind with his uncle and ran off into the night. First to walk through Christmas trees, lights, antique glitter, tricycles, repurposed hutches and gorgeous couches, and collect vintage ornaments. 

Then through the rain to an Itailian house, so dark and romantic. The food was the most incredible I've had in a long time. Everything is my new favorite, warm, creative, complex, and familiar. I crave it now. We had been promised a 45 minute wait, but perhaps November or love or pregnancy or God himself interfeered and we were given a table not 12 minutes later. We sat across from each other at that tiny table and asked questions and talked about the future five years. 

Without further exact plans, but the night still being young, we went out in search for the perfect dessert to share. While driving around downtown, getting lost in the blurriness and no chance of parking spots, we happened upon a particularly dark and interesting alley where Collin discovered a secret performance going on. There was a warehouse, modern dance, and a woman staring out a gate at us; it was where we needed to be that night! 

We witnessed a beautiful interesting creepy few scenes, heard some lovely music, talked with some wonderful old friends and met new, everyone ever asking and congratulating about my obvious upcoming life change. We relaxed in a comfortable lounge and despite being among eyeballs, skins, mannequins and instruments, held hands and found the trash together. 

One more adventure: we were recommended the best ice cream ever, so set off once again in the late rain, found our place (and free parking!) and had the most delicious combinations while listening about Europa, Jupiter's moon, and Montessori ideals. It had been an interesting wonderful adventure, spent with my best friend and favorite person in the universe. "Five years paying bills; five years without any frills!" We had joked that morning, budgeting and paying rent etc. But there's no one i'd rather do any of this with, CS. There's no one I find more interesting, handsome, intelligent and strong. We have a very blessed life with our babies and kitties and little space. Happy November 22nd. 

A&tJ

These little nervous feelings about giving birth started creeping in but today I'm packing and listening to my birthing playlist and I'm feeling so happy weepy sentimental good. Fred is napping and I'm cuddled in my bed dreaming of my second child. Antony and the Johnsons is my favorite for birth (and in general). Last time I listened to Spiraling over and over and this time I love You are my Sister. I am picturing Frederick and the baby, together; so magical. (I mean I'm worried about him being rough and going "boomy" right on the babes head too), but I know they will love each other.

As I listen to Hypnobirthing affirmations my body gets so relaxed and gushy and comfortable. I will be confident, safe, secure. I will open and birth smoothly and easily. I will look to Collin. I trust him. I've been in love with him for over 6 years, you know. 

These are more good things: