October 18, 2014

Plans

Alarm 7:00a
Nurse! Hopefully they will stay asleep. 
Sit ups (10 mins)
Yoga (10-20 mins)
Dressed
If kids are up, take em with me 
---->breakfast 
And scriptures
Then our morning walk
Come home and shower
Nurse (hattie might take a  nap)
Pack up
Ready for the day by 10a!!!!!

I'm going to try it for a week. 


October 16, 2014

A Formula

I kept waiting for guidance in the form of a talk, article or advice from someone telling me WHAT to do...a formula....numbered instructions....x+y=z (z being Freddie not being aggressive toward hattie anymore.) ((and mind you, he's not THAT bad. I believe it's a normal amount of boy aggression for his age and having a newish sister etc....and he Loves her, cares for her, plays w her, makes her laugh, holds her hand, gives her toys...etc too...it was just a hard thing to see him also randomly take out aggressions ON HER. She was getting hurt/falling off things/banging her head etc as a result and we felt it a danger.))

Anyway so I kept not knowing what to do...saying and thinking and FEELING this. So overwhelmed. 

I have since general conference been praying aloud in front of my kids, more personal, heart and soul stuff, and trying to read a verse or so of scripture aloud w them and today I gave a visiting teaching lesson on patience (I need it.) so all these things came together and after a very overwhelming day and venting to my husband and then praying so hard all day for our friend, Evan, 16. He's fighting bone cancer through chemo and yesterday an operation that removed his femur and knee and replaced w a rod.  Well and today he has been fighting a high fever and had to get a blood transfusion. So we have been praying like crazy. Tonight Collin came home from work early and we cancelled our plans and decided to do a little bit of family time healing at home. Everything got better. 

And tonight as I laid in bed, holding, nursing, singing to my little ones, the inspiration came. There was one thing I'd been thinking of earlier today and that was that I need to watch better...smarter. I mean don't get me wrong, I watch my kids really well. I don't leave them or anything but I need to not even turn my back on them alone in some situations right now. This won't last long. I know it. 
They will be grown up in no time and I'm just savoring laying between their two tiny, sleeping, purring, warm bodies.  I'm so grateful. The other inspiration was LOVE. Teach about love. Sing about it, talk about it and what it means, ask about it. Read about it. Practice it. 

Thats how this works for me I think... If I can stay patient and diligent, the spirit will guide and inspire me for good. I can do this. Now...it's only 8:10pm and the babes are asleep! Time to party, CS!! ������

October 11, 2014

Me

After a good ol Saturday full of errands, grocery shopping, international babywearing party, planning, scheming ;), taking care of, feeding, playing with kids, playing in the sprinklers, making dinner, cleaning up and getting no nap.......I put hattie to bed, then Collin got him ready and I put fred to bed.....then....

I took a bubble bath! while watching jimmy Fallon, and used a body scrub!!!! Gave myself a pedicure! Shaved both of my legs in full!! (Armpits, too!!) did a face mask!!!! All by candlelight! 

It 
Was 
Divine. 

That was some good relaxing me as a woman not just mommy time. Now where's that good looking husband of mine??

October 9, 2014

Frederick

What can I say about my best friend? 
He is always with me. He tries my patience hourly!!! Minutely!!! 
He has such an imagination and is kind, out-going, handsome. He loves to laugh and finds so many things funny. He is very optimistic and sensitive and passionate. He tells anyone who even remotely sounds like they are disagreeing to calm down and stop yelling or not to get "frustrulated."
He is so creative but isn't super into sitting down and doing crafts or coloring independently. He'll do it with you for a minute and then wants to play, be outside, getting dirty in the sand, building something, knocking something down, being loud and wild and free from no no nos.
Lately he's been a little more rough w hattie and the more I tell him to be gentle, the more he ignores me. Hm, working on that one. 
He was wearing underwear all the time but now is back to diapers. Oh well, say we! He has been so active and hasn't nursed as much recently. 

He will NOT allow himself to be called a baby or little or short. He gets very defensive about this.  (But I know he still likes being my baby from time to time.)

He loves to help and show me eeeeeveryyyything. I love cooking with him. Everyday when we leave I put hattie in her car seat and then fred sits on my lap as we back out of the driveway. Then he gets in his car seat (usually without any fight!) and I buckle him while he hits the garage door clicker. It's our tradition. I love it. I hope he never takes the car out for a joyride before he gets his license!!!!

I love this caring, friendly, dance-party-loving 3 year old. 

Frederick

What can I say about my best friend? 
He is always with me. He tries my patience hourly!!! Minutely!!! 
He has such an imagination and is kind, out-going, handsome. He loves to laugh and finds so many things funny. He is very optimistic and sensitive and passionate. He tells anyone who even remotely sounds like they are disagreeing to calm down and stop yelling or not to get "frustrulated."
He is so creative but isn't super into sitting down and doing crafts or coloring independently. He'll do it with you for a minute and then wants to play, be outside, getting dirty in the sand, building something, knocking something down, being loud and wild and free from no no nos.
Lately he's been a little more rough w hattie and the more I tell him to be gentle, the more he ignores me. Hm, working on that one. 
He was wearing underwear all the time but now is back to diapers. Oh well, say we! He has been so active and hasn't nursed as much recently. 

He will NOT allow himself to be called a baby or little or short. He gets very defensive about this.  (But I know he still likes being my baby from time to time.)

He loves to help and show me eeeeeveryyyything. I love cooking with him. Everyday when we leave I put hattie in her car seat and then fred sits on my lap as we back out of the driveway. Then he gets in his car seat (usually without any fight!) and I buckle him while he hits the garage door clicker. It's our tradition. I love it. I hope he never takes the car out for a joyride before he gets his license!!!!

I love this caring, friendly, dance-party-loving 3 year old. 

Harriet Jill.

Just had to record a few things HARRIET, this morning as I can't sleep. (But my 3 snoring bedmates are sleeping well...and Monte too by my feet).  

She is 9.5 months old. The other day Collin said, "she'll be 1 in 2 months." Both our jaws dropped. 
She is always chiming in in fanily conversations/trying to get a word in!! She says dada (the most and right to Collin), ama (mama, when she separately wants milk, now), bye bye, hi, and this phrase over and over and over that sounds like, "I did it!"

"Iiiiiiiiii di-di. Iiiiiiiiiii di-di." Oh man, it's cute. 

She has known and answered to Hattie for some time now. I also call her Harriet quite often and Harriet Jillian, or just Jill sometimes. 

She crawls and scoots and cruises along furniture. She'll let go and stand now and again but today she did it twice for about 10 seconds each!!! It's so thrilling to see her moving about so independently. 

Today she cracked up so hard at mama acting like a frog, hopping around outside. Freddie and daddyo were joining in and she about had a fit. She thinks we are hilarious. 

She cuddles and sleeps soundly but also gets sooo hyper! Sometimes before nap or bed she will thrash about, twisting and turning and crawling aimlessly in bed. Crazy girl!! But she will tire herself out and start the er rubbing, come and nurse, and fall asleep. Haha. 
We look at her and gasp and say how gorgeous she is. She is soooooooooo beautiful to me. She has it all. Those eyes! That skin! Those awesome teeth!! She is so funny and interesting. She loves playing in the sand and still dislikes getting changed or clothes or declothed and depending on her mood she loves or hates the bath. Loves swimming, loves being worn by Collin or me. Loves exploring and getting into everything. 

I loooove her. So much. 

October 1, 2014

Freddie said....

Me: do you think maybe you'll be done w milky on thanksgiving? 
F: no!!!!!!
Me: when do you think you'll be done w milky?
F: ummmm...20 minutes. 

F: if you see a dinosaur, you have to RUN AWAY!!!!!!!

Me: today is Saturday
Fred: No it is NOT SAT
Me: it's October
Fred: No it is NOT OCT
Me: the 4th 2014
Fred: No it is NOT THE 4th!!!!
Me: yes it is!!
F: no!!!!
Me: I'll prove it to you! (Then got out my phone and compared the writing w the date!)
F: I'll PROVE YOU!! (grabbed my phone) let me see...Saturday...October...4th...... 
I fourthed YOU!!!!! (What??!!!??!!) 
��

September 23, 2014

Shaking with gratitude
Tears running 
Exhaustion
Humility flattening out every inch of me
Ready to sleep

Still confusion, eyes hurting, wondering, fearing, but soft and small and here and alright. 
I reach with my foot and am reassured. She is here. 

September 22, 2014

I dunno why...

But I feel my heart is going to burst out of  my chest! I feel so happy right now! Hormones and moods are nutty but every now and again this wave of happiness comes over me (just as waves of down-ness) and overwhelm me with smiles and gratitude. I love my husband and my children so much. Fred and Hat are sleeping around me and Fred just woke up with his GIANT bed head and acted all zombie then was about to start nursing but I told him his has to give me a giant hug first and he did hahaha. 

It's 4pm and that means we should get up and play play play play and start making dinner and daddyo will be home in 2 hrs!!! We will play w Fred's new play dough he got for his bday and then read books books books and clean up and separate some laundry. 

Earlier today we went on a quick walk and went swimming with grandma. It was so great. Hot but not INSANELY hot, so that's cool! And the water was actually COOL! It was all lovely. Then we made and ate lunch. We were talking and cooing w Hattie, who babbles back; she's a great conversationalist and we laugh so hard with her and she laughs back. Hehehhe good babes. Then bed and I watched Call the Midwife while they were sleeping. Season 3 is on netflix now and I LOVE IT so much. Just started. 

Freddie's bday party was SO SO much fun. I'll post about it this week!!! And yesterday was a day full of church as we attended our regular meetings as well as stake conference in our old stake because the apostle, Russell M Nelson spoke! We got to meet him and it was wonderful. I'm going to post my notes on the meeting too. Today I had a problem and I turned to the Book of Mormon and it helped a lot! 

Okay gotta go! I'm STARVING!!! I know my weight isn't where I'd like it but with my daughter being so dependent it's hard to exercise got long periods of time or very effectively. But I know this time is short and that soon enough I'll be able to work hard at the gym!! Can't wait for the nicer weather so we can go to the park and run around outside more!!!! 

September 20, 2014

Today!

Freddie turned 3 on Thursday and we had a great day together. He is a happy, confident, social kid. He says hi to everyone. He speaks pretty clearly and wants to learn about everything he sees so asks constantly what things are called, what they do, why they do it, or don't do it!
He assumes the best in everyone and makes friends so easily. He literally will take a kid by the hand and say, let's just go play!

Today is another big party day!!! It's his birthday party, a digger/construction theme. Collin and I have been working really hard on this thing for a while. Everything is set up and looks so cute.  I hope people show up! ;) 

Fred is growing up! He has been transitioning to wearing underwear (more in this soon--very one step forward, two steps back!!:) and this morning while we were all still sleeping in bed he snuck in to go pee in the toilet. And then when I was going to the bathroom Hattie woke and started crying because she couldn't see me and Fred went over and told her it's ok and started singing twinkle twinkle little star!!  He's just so sweet. 
And then he said, "daddy hide!!!! Hattie's a dragon and mommy's a lion!!! It's ON!!!!