January 17, 2017

52 questions week 3

What goals are you actively working toward right now?

I have been walking in the mornings with a few friends on my street. It wasn't working out to do stroller strides right now, so we've been loading the kids up in the double stroller and heading out in the freezing, foggy, snowblizzardy winter. I hate winter, guys. At least when it snows it's pretty. Jan and Feb are just ugly when it's cold. 
The air is starting to get bad, so I'm not sure how long these walks will last. But I am also making a couple of friends while walking. 

But still, I miss being with people who KNOW me and LOVE me for me. I feel a great unrest within my soul right now. I feel lonely. I feel so much all at once. I want to 

a. attend yoga weekly. I am so inspired by my yoga instructor of 1 year now. She is the most incredible person, Alicia of Salt Lake Prenatal Yoga. (and post natal yoga, and mommy and me yoga). She made a HUGE difference in my pregnancy with Ella. So much healing happened. So much confidence and faith developed. Tonight was no exception.

b. forgive

c. have confidence. I know I'm doing what is right for me and I cannot feel sorry or regretful for that. 

d. be happy RIGHT NOW. choose happiness!

52 questions week 2

#52 questions
Week 2

What is something you taught yourself to do without help from anyone else?

I have taught myself to love learning. This isn't something that came to me growing up. I didn't discover it until about age 26/27 as I was finally getting my Associates degree. I enjoyed travel and adventure and learning about new things and people, but I didn't know that I actually loved doing work and getting good grades until it felt too late. It still feels too late, even though I know, of course, it's not. 

Learning to love learning has helped me so much in motherhood. I feel like I was able to educated myself on childbirth and things that mattered to me. I educated myself on breastfeeding and raising kids. I like to look to research and science for answers to problems that arise as well as studying the Gospel and scriptures when searching for peace.

I also taught myself to use a PoGo stick, and am quite good at it. 

January 11, 2017

Collin #52stories week 1

What Goal Do You Hope to Achieve This Year?

in 2017, my goal is to bring daily happiness into my home and family. Why? Because we need a little Christmas, right this very minute! And a ton of other great broadway songs floating through the house to lift us all up and help us feel joy.

When I was in the MTC, I sang like crazy; in the halls, in the shower. At first my other 19 year old peers were generally confused, and some put off by my unabasehed enthusiasm. But over time, as I kept it up and sang out of the sheer joy that I felt, other’s did the same. Better yet, our MTC District was happy and had a sense of connectedness.

My family is not used to winter; or waiting until 8 am for the sun to rise; or snow to cover everything and freeze us to the bone. We want to feel warm when we are together and bring light in both physical and metaphorical ways, into our home and to others. 

So singing will be one way to bring happiness into our home every day.

What else will I do this year to bring happiness into my family daily? 
  • Read my scriptures every day
  • Pray personally and as a family twice daily
  • Attend the temple monthly
  • Prepare and take family names to the temple bi-monthly
  • Talk to my brother, sister, mom and dad at least once a month
Say nice things, be nice, sing, get down on the floor, say yes to whatever my kids ask to do with me more. Less trying to get “me” time, less time on my phone (at anytime: work, transit, home, bed), less complaining, less waiting for others to do something before I do something.

January 10, 2017

#52 stories week 1

Collin and I will be blogging the answers to 52 questions, 1 per week, this year, to help us in writing our personal histories. Here's a link with more info on the project:

52 Stories

So here is the question and Nikki's answer fir the 1st week in 2017...

Goals & Achievements

What goals do you hope to achieve this year?

I actually just posted our family's goals for the year but I'll expand on each: the reasons behind them and update on how I'm doing 2 weeks into the New Year.

This year I hope to reach these goals:

1. Make a real friend. 
I have some extremely close friends. A few women I would do anything for and who I know would have my back in any situation. We talk often and I rely on them heavily when I am having a hard time or when I want to share goodness, but they live in AZ!!! and DC!!! and Japan!!!! Sheesh. I have some good friends around the state/valley in Utah and we are making friends here and there in our ward but I want to really focus on developing some of these relationships. You out there: my dear best friends already, you reading this now: I could never and would never replace you. Friendship to me is family. It's real. It's forever. I need a best friend neighbor to add to the bunch.

2. Exercise; take care of my body; be HEALTHY.
I had a baby. And I gained a lot of weight (about 60lbs) with that first little guy and never really lost that weight. Then I started working out but before I got totally healthy, I had another babe. I worked out a lot during that pregnancy and gained a minimal normal amount (but then ended up having high BP due to stress just the last few weeks). After that I still had that extra stuff from the first pregnancy. I was working out and then came babe #3! YAHOO! I had a very healthy pregnancy. I ate really really well, and toned down the working out to walks and low key aerobics. I gained only about 30 lbs again..minimal normal weight...and had a super healthy awesome birth too. So here I am, 8 months postpartum and I'm working out a few times a week (I wish I could do more, but very little time these days), and I still have a ways to go. I've never been one to focus on numbers; I've never owned a scale. I don't believe in focusing on losing a certain amount of weight. But I want to be healthy. I really desire this. I want to feel good in my body. I want to be a good example to my children and to be able to stay young and healthy for them as much as myself. I want to work hard at making good choices when it comes to eating. I have a goal of not eating fast food this year (or my kids.) I also want to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. I have been so used to just eating at normal meal times and just a plateful. I have been trying to learn to listen to my body.
3. Make our house a home. 
We spend a lot of time in our home. We want to love it. We want the kids to love their rooms and to feel comfortable. And we want to have lots of parties!!!
4. Prayer on my knees morning and night.
It makes my prayers more sincere. (So does the fact that I need all the help I can get while raising my 3 little stinkers and trying to strengthen my relationship with Collin.) I love the comfort that comes from prayer, the self-reflection and feeling that I belong and have purpose. 

Well, here's to 2017 and to Collin's gorgeous hair in humidity. (and in general. boyfriend has the best hair ever and I love when he lets it go wild. Collin, your goal this year should be to let your hair be wild and curly more often and to go on lots and lots of adventure dates with your lovely wife.)

January 9, 2017

New Years Goals for the Smiths

This year I hope to reach these goals:
1. Make a real friend.
2. Exercise; take care of my body
3. Make our house a home.
4. Prayer on my knees morning and night

1. say my prayers every morning and night
2. Start kindergarten next fall

Learn how to walk and grow some teeth

Start primary and be in my own class.

More quality family time
A garden

December 12, 2016

In the Next Life. Maria Taylor

This song is from her brand new album. I love her. I love her music. I have for 14ish years! Her beautiful voice and talent and thoughts. When I started listening to her music I was 19 and adventuring and finding myself. She was a young woman too, a young musician with something beautiful and special to sing about with her friend, Orenda Fink. Then it was about love and loss and redemption(winky ML). Now it's about her maturing and life and marriage and two babies. Her take on motherhood. Such an unexpected love for her.  I relate. I didn't grow up dreaming about my wedding or becoming a mother. I never have really enjoyed kids much, besides my awesome little brother. But marriage and love and motherhood found me and I love it. I love my life. It's hard and stressful and not really rewarding. But I feel it's why I have come to this place circling all around the sun.

"So I'll live until the livin's done. Got a feeling there's another one."

hello again

Ok so I tried to blog at wordpress but I just couldn't really do it. I feel home here. My words flow here. Even though the app for blogger stinks/doesn't really exist anymore...Even though the app for wordpress is amazing...

Even though I'll have to get on my desk top to write instead of using my phone...
I just wasn't blogging much. I wasn't feeling inspired to go. I didn't enjoy typing the same way I do here. That makes no sense.

Click here to read the few posts I made over at Wordpress...

Updates then...

Ella is big. Well, actually she is tiny, petite. But she is a 6 month old crawler and at almost 7 months she is pulling up to standing on toys or things low to the ground.

Hattie and Freddie are completely in awe of the world. Fred can help me with things and does, occasionally. Hattie tires my patience. I might say she is my hardest child but then again, Fred was crazy honory and hard at 3 years old. And Ella isn't there yet, so...

We spent Thanksgiving down in Phoenix. Collin and the kids and Dot and I flew down and man was it nice not to have to drive the 12 hours... (plus many more with all the stops). Dot was an angel and loved being at my parents' house. We had the best time I've ever had with my fam. Amelia and David being married adds a great dynamic to the group. We all had fun every night going to the hot tub with Joseph. My mom and dad would take the kids (which they all loved) and we would go. It is awesome to have that ability!!

There was an added somberness and gratefulness as my dad's business partner and coworker of 20 years was killed in a car accident just the day before Thanksgiving. It was a horrible thing and a huge shock to us all. It was so different from any death I've experienced. I get so sad thinking about it and about not seeing him at my dad's office and about his kids. They are my brothers and my age. We have so many memories together. My dad said some beautiful things to us all before we ate our Thanksgiving meal about living life everyday to the fullest and holding each other close. It really set the tone for the rest of the weekend. Even when we did have a small political discussion, we kept calm and listened pretty well to each other.

We were happy to have Dot traveling with us and she was cuddly and fuzzy all weekend long. 

The new Gilmore Girls revival came out and Morgan came over and we had donuts, hot chocolate and pop tarts to celebrate. Here's a separate post about that.
It was amazing to see other friends too!!!

Now we are back up in Sandy, Utah, preparing for Christmas, for Hattie's birthday party and for our travels to Florida for Christmas and New Years.

beautiful table created by Amelia

Gilmore Girls

I was SO nervous to start watching it. I had such high expectations. I had finished the series for the 5th or 6th time just days before it aired. 
I LOVED it. There were moments I didn't really understand until the end. And then I did. And I thought I loved Gilmore Girls, but this took it all to the next level. It was perfect. Amy Sherman-Palladino, thank you so much. You did it. And I watched it again and loved it even more and want to watch it again. I seriously can't wait to watch it with my babes someday. I'm a weirdo, I know, but it's so much about life and family and hard work without payoff and doing all you can to be good and be who you are and live what you believe. It's about motherhood and about daughter hood. About what you take from your family and what you choose to leave. It's about finding humor in hard times, accepting yourself and others, and never giving up on people. It's about trials and heartache and loneliness and rebellion that we all experience.


September 25, 2016

I'm moving!!!!

Well, my blogging will be moving...to Wordpress! I'm sad to have to make this change, but unfortunately, blogspot is not available for iPhone anymore and I need to be able to blog from my phone.
So Smith Force Five will be retired for now and I'll be blogging full time over at...
(Don't forget the double Es)

Thanks for your love and support..whomever you are out there! I'll be working on the layout of my new blog here and here over the next weeks.