Mongolia

Here is a beautiful and interesting article about a mother's experience breastfeeding in Mongolia.

Breastfeeding in the land of Genghis Khan

It helped remind me that what my instincts are telling me is a normal thing. I loved the part on westerners' views of independence.

I don't understand why breastfeeding is such an uncomfortable thing for people. (Myself included! Before I had Freddie I had a friend say she was going to nurse her daughter till at least two and I was, I'm saddened to say, weirded out!!! I only hope and pray that I didn't discourage her or make her feel alienated in any way.) I was recently told that breastfeeding in public is not modest and that I should be aware of the religious consequences it would bring. But if God created me and created my breasts to fill with milk to sustain my baby's life, and if being a mother is my divine roll and the most important thing I will ever do, all things I believe with my whole heart, then what's the problem if I nurse my child in public, while living my life, making it easier on me, my child, family, friends? It raises my mental health by keeping me surrounded by people, allowing me to be out and about, helping me feel less lonely and strange, something most mothers experience after having a child. What's the problem if you see a little boob while a sweet mother, doing her best, tries to latch her baby or keep the interest of her hungry, yet distracted toddler? It's just a boob!!!!!!! Really!!!!!! I don't understand why it's considered not keeping private. Im feeding a human being!!!!! It is normal!!!! When breasts are used in pornography, or even just regular tv these days, to promote sex, then yes, that is inappropriate! that is degrading! It has the potential to break up families. And in some instances, that is considered okay, hot, praised. Geeez, what a backwards world we live it. Happily, I think our world is becoming more open and people becoming more educated and understanding that their way is not the only way (once again, including me! I do not think my way of parenting is the only way....it's the best way I know how for me and my son and my family; and it's my life, to try, learn, and grow. And I respect others to do as they feel is the best way.)
I think many people are much more open to possibilities and differences these days. Honestly, in public I've gotten nothing but Love from other moms/dads offering help or encouragement, sharing a story of their breastfeeding days. Its only on Facebook, behind the computer screen that people feel the need, (nay, the duty!) to put me in my place. Ha, oh well; that is their prerogative! I'm just an advocate for the breast, and the right to feed in public and not feel embarrassed or ashamed or alone, and also for the invigoration of doing what you need to do, what you were made to do, without a thought, anywhere you are, while satisfying a fundamental need and sustaining life.

Little clothes

Pulled out a large bin of tiny clothes from the past 16 months. Checking the size, folding, smelling, smiling, remembering a tiny squishy babe. How could he have ever fit in these? And I find myself wishing I could do it over, just to experience it again and not take anything for granted.

I want another baby now. I'm ready when God is ready. But I will never again have only one tiny newborn, who I can give all of myself to. I start missing Baby Frederick so badly, but wait! He's in the other room, sleeping! And he needs me more than ever--right now!!

***Disclaimer****

Frederick is not potty-trained, and is not being potty-train. The above scene was a funny time when Fred peed on the floor and Collin sat him on the toilet. It was so funny that I took a picture.

Old/New

Two days ago on Facebook there was a quote that said mothers sacrifice for their babies and I "liked" it, posting it on my own page. I guess a few people took it offensively, and posted their feelings on it, one being an Aunt of mine. She got it all out. Then others responded to the first person, escalating with more offense, angry replies, and more people involved on each side. It hurt me that people would think I'd be so judgmental of them; that people on either side would set aside any thought of how this would effect my relationships with family members; and most of all, that my Facebook page would be a forum for such judgement, intolerance, hurtful sarcasm (all is hurtful in my opinion) or even hate. ---especially when all I was doing (in my mind) was agree that all mothers sacrifice and that motherhood is a beautiful and wondrous thing.
I've seen this behavior over and over on fb, especially since the election, people using other peoples' posts to get out their frustrations, not caring about the hurt or offense they might cause others. That's the point of the Internet, right? You can say anything you want without having consequence??? (not really but we are made to feel that way, invincible for a time.) I myself, am no where near free from being guilty of this, sadly. I'm doing it even now. I guess it's the world we live in.
Then last night, after fretting about how to delete the post altogether, I found out that a childhood friend's husband passed away Friday morning, after a long fight with brain cancer, leaving her and two daughters. Then i thought of my own cousin who Iost her 4th child during birth, Christmas morning. It sickened me to think of the real suffering that's going on for these women and all over the world while we are wrapped up in fb, creating more stress for ourselves. I don't hold anything against anyone involved in my post, but I decided to leave Fb once and for all, and deleted my account. Those kinds of things seem monumentous, but they really aren't.
I will still post opinions, here on this blog, where I think it's more appropriate....mostly because very few people actually read this, that I know of. Comments and differing opinions are welcome, but my hope is that the mean ones will be left elsewhere. This is intended to be a space for a love of babies, family, animals, adventure, spirituality, the experiences of a first time mother/parent, pictures, food, and creativity.
Happy New Year.
And, by the way, I'm so touched and inspired by the faith shown by both of the beautiful women i mentioned above who have lost so deeply. They seem so prepared and hopeful. They are both in my prayers and on my mind.

The district sleeps alone tonight

Fred's sleep. Thus far I've tried to be pretty instinctual. I let him sleep when he is tired. I look for cues to know when this is. And he has fallen into his own routines and has remained happy and healthy. He can fall asleep wherever if we are out-day or night-or is happy and well-mannered while awake. He has gone in and out of phases of lots of naps to to 2 to 3 and now seems to be moving toward one long one in the middle of the day. He has gone from going to sleep at night at 6-7 then 8-9 and in the last month around 10 or later (please don't judge me!) This is good and bad. Good cause it means we can go do stuff at night and he doesn't have meltdowns but bad because--he's up! We have to entertain him and keep him out of trouble. We get very little alone or adult time. ETC.
But two nights ago at 6pm he showed tired cues and I went with it! He was asleep within minutes! And we were like....what now!!?? Ah it was awesome. Then last night he went down around 7. It took a little longer to get him to sleep but he was certainly tired and afterward we cleaned, walked around the complex and looked at Christmas lights holding hands(!!!!!) took a long bath with our Lush bath bomb and had adult time. It was so so great. We also got to bed earlier than usual. I can definitely get used to that. Although a con was that Fred woke up around 5:30am and wouldn't go back to sleep. We usually wake at about 8:30 or so- he sleeps as long as I do and I need my sleep in the morning. But thank goodness for a baby proofed room and a floor bed. I locked us both in and slept on his bed while he played and i left boob out and ready for him if he needed. Ha! Sleeeeeep.

Halloween Night

Alright...last post of Halloween pictures for the year....

My heart just about melted time and time again as I
saw that my little Frederick is growing up so fast.
I love him so much! He makes all these thing in life a
thousand times more fun and exciting. We live for him!
We are reading to really get our family started. There's
no greater joy I've ever experienced. Families can be
together FOREVER!

Now on to the spooky stuff!

Getting a gigantic pumpkin from Frys
almost busted our stroller!

Applebees Nurse-in 2012

Look at me....quite the little activist, huh.
I don't mean to be. I don't want to alienate anyone from me.
I'm passionate about certain things, and enjoy connecting with others also passionate about them. But I don't think my way is the only way or even the best way. It's just the best way for Fred and Collin and me.

So here we are at the Applebees Nurse-in on Saturday September 29th. (It was NOT a protest against Applebees of any kind, but a peaceful rally, to unite nursing mothers and bring awareness that nursing in public is okay!!!)

Basically, earlier in September, a woman at an Applebees in Georgia was nursing her child, and was asked by the manager to go to the bathroom to do so, or to leave. There is a law in GA, (the same as there is in AZ), that women are allowed to breastfeed in any place where they are lawfully able to be. She patiently told this manager her rights and then the manager called the cops and humiliated her and her family. Of course, the cops sided with the nursing mother, but it was a very unfortunate situation that could have been avoided.

I don't mind boobs. I truly believe that they are made to nurse. I know my husband loves them too, for other reasons, but he also respects that they have a very important function: sustaining the life of our child. Unfortunately our world has sexualized breasts to the point of extreme discomfort for a lot of people when it comes to nursing.

Think about it....when a woman is wearing something low cut, or tight, or revealing or sheer, it's considered HOT. But a woman is feeding her child, a truly beautiful gift from God, and heaven forbid a little skin shows, and people freak out with disgust. When a mom is just doing her best to take care of her baby. Well I support mothers and families! Women are expected to go behind closed doors and alienate themselves (when they are at a potentially lonely and challenging time in their lives...hormones and hanging with a babe all day make a gal starved for adult interaction! I swear!) or to put a blanket over their baby's head. Some people can do that just fine and I think that's great and fully support it, but I tried. I promise. Fred HATED it. We were both trying to figure out nursing in the first few months and I was timid and self-conscious as it were. I wanted to be with everyone when we had dinner company or hung out with friends (you know how social Collin and I are!) and I'd finally get Fred latched on, and then cover him up with a blanket and he'd get so upset, unlatch, milk would be SPRAYING everywhere, mortifying me and everyone else, and I'd end up flashing everyone anyway. So I finally said, Enough! I'm just going to nurse! If people don't like it they don't have to look or like me. And I'm pretty discrete anyway....(I think so...haha I could be totally wrong though!!)

I get not wanting to see other people's breasts when it is in a sexual context...most movies and TV, but when nursing? It's feeding a child...It's good for him and for me. It makes me happy and him happy. The World Health Organization recommends nursing to 2 years (which is my goal, by the way; I recently decided that I plan to wean at 2 years because that's what I feel good about. Collin feels good about it. Fred?? Well I think he'd nurse till forever if he could! I respect everyone's decisions on length of nursing with what works for them and their families! Love love love la-la-love, la-la-love makes the world go round!

Anyway...I could go on all day. I love mothers. I love them whether they nurse or formula feed. I love them because I know that I'm just trying to do my best, and they are too and I respect that so much.
Here are some photos from our fun day of Nursing-in. The managers at the Applebees we went to were super nice. All the people walking in and out of the restaurant were kind and respectful, too. We sat outside the place for a few hours and then afterward all went in and got food.

 (and she really is so supportive. I'm blessed with insanely supportive family (immediate and in-laws alike). I'm so so blessed.)

 Emily with Charlie, my mom with Fred. (Charlie and Fred like each other)

 super fun rally friends!

 I love my husband!

(some other signs we had were "if nursing in public bothers you, you can go eat in the bathroom " or "...then you can put a blanket over your head." hehe.)