More summer

It's gotten to the point where we can't really go outside anymore besides swimming. Yesterday was 118 and some meters read 121. Photos are from the last couple of weeks.

A happy smith family day!!!

I have a new beautiful blonde nephew!!! Weston Sterling Smith!! Congratulations to my dear dear sister in law, Ashley and her husband, Ian, and first three children, Lauren, Kate and Lincoln. 4 children!! Can you believe it?? They are seriously awesome parents-loving, fun, and in control. I look up them and value their opinions very much. 

Ashley is the type of person who makes a goal and then makes it happen. I want to be more like her. She knows her body and herself and what's she's capable of.

Congrats to you all!! I love you!!

And a very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my other sister in law, Kendra!!!!!! It's so special that she shares a bday w our sweet new nephew. Happy happy happy day!!

3 hour naps

They are great. Usually I try to sleep for 20-30 minutes and then get stuff done like cleaning or something but this time I just relaxed and watched the Bachelorette and SYTYCD. 

FOOD Huggers

These seem so awesome!!! I'm constantly putting half-used fruits and veggies into a plastic bag only to find them slimy and mushy just days later. I want to order some...Collin????

The impossible

If you're 4 months pregnant and very emotional you probably shouldn't watch the movie, The Impossible. Cause it's going to be 1:38am and your husband will be asleep next to you, and your son will be totally out in the next room and you'll be wide awake, reliving every horrible moment. 

Yes, pregnancy is hard. I forgot how hard! Or maybe this one is just a little more challenging having another child. But reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and all the positive (though many challenging) birth stories and thinking about my own birth with Freddie, and thinking about how "wow, I'm pregnant now!" And thinking of possible future pregnancies and births...just them alone without all the other hard stuff that comes w them...I love pregnancy and love birth! Call me crazy, but i's a miracle. It's amazing. I feel very blessed. I don't want to complain. At yoga today I learned modifications to help me be more gentle on my ever-changing body (I'm in a regular class-not prenatal so I can't do everything they do anymore.) And during one part we had to look up at our cupped arm over our heads and we were told that whatever thoughts we were thinking are reflected back to us so to make sure we are thinking positively and kindly. I usually do think negative things about myself; it sucks. but I was feeling so good that all of a sudden I found myself thinking all these awesome things. It was very empowering and gave me confidence and peace. I'm awesome. I feel good about my body. I make it to the gym 3-4 rimes a week. I love the little bean growing in there. My husband is awesome and funny and loves me so much!! My son is adorable. He tries my patience 100 times a day these days, but he is soooo funny and cute and he's teaching me to teach him and so much more. I love cats! And I have two of the cutest, sweetest, cuddliest, and most independent ever. 

Today I'm 16 weeks and ill have more patience, more fun, more gratitude as I wait and prepare for December. 

Father's Day 2013

Happy Father's Day to my best friend and a great dad...the greatest there could ever be for frederick. I don't think I could do this without him. I certainly don't want to. Love you, Collin.

nursing, sleeping, night weaning!

For Fred's whole life he's pretty much woken up every 2 hours to nurse, which I NEVER minded before because we were co-sleeping (till he was a year, then he'd go to sleep in his room and sleep walk into ours) and he would nurse in his and MY sleep. I hardly noticed at all and never felt slept deprived...but then I got pregnant and my milk vanished and the nursing hurt like crap and rather than gulping it down for about 5 minutes he just sucked and sucked for an hour or MORE!!!!! ahhhh.

So suddenly it wasn't fun anymore. Suddenly we had to make changes. Luckily, because my milk was decreasing by the moment, I've never gone through painful engorgement even though this has happened pretty rapidly. A friend had sent me this article, and I really like how gentle it was when it came to co sleeping and night weaning and how seriously it took the emotional attachment of a long time nursing relationship. But I also liked how sympathetic he was to needing sleep!!

Collin and I read it over apart and then together. We made a game plan, and we started. I honestly never saw it working. I couldn't see Frederick, who pretty much loves to nurse more than anything in the world, going 7+ hours straight without nursing. But, he did. Since we started he has not nursed from 11pm-6am.  We thought it would be difficult because he has a floor bed and can come into our room freely, and I also thought he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep without it but each time he came in, one of us picked him up, cuddled him, sang, laid him down and he went to sleep on his own within 5-15 minutes!!

We skipped the "nursing for a little while but not to sleep" because there's no way he'd ever stop. The first few days we gave him whole wheat tortilla and water, which he gobbled down vigorously. And MAN did he cry HARD. And it was definitely that ANGRY ANGRY cry. When I took him he wouldn't cry very much, just whimper cause I wouldn't let him nurse, but I was firm and consistent. I told him the milk was asleep at night from now on. It seemed to work. When Collin would take him, a couple of times he acted so mad that Collin was KEEPING him from his mommy! But he got over that. It was hard to hear him cry like that, and although I was used to no sleep, Collin had a bit of a hard time. But we stuck with it. After the first 4 days he wasn't really interested in the food part and would just drink. Then he would even deny that sometimes.

Now he goes from bedtime (about 7:30-8) to 6 or 7am without nursing. He does still wake 1-2 times per night, but he goes right back to sleep and we're working on it gradually. He's doing really great. He's just 1.5 years, after all! And Collin and I wonder WHO ever came up with the expectation of babies sleeping so perfectly so soon? I mean it's nice and all, but seriously, what adult doesn't wake now and then for a glass of water or to pee or because of a weird dream? And we have decades on them!!
Since I have no milk (it's turning into colostrum...AWESOME Kellymom article HERE). Fred is eating so much more regular food throughout the day. He nurses 1-2 times a day just for closeness, comfort, calm, familiar. And I love it. Life is good again.

It's good to see that everything we've done hasn't completely screwed him up...though I'm sure we'll make changes here and there with the next one. I know it's not for everyone, but we've loved co sleeping and nursing and how confident and independent while still appropriately attached to us it's helping him become. 

Now if only I could teach him to not throw food on the ground, spill every glass of water on PURPOSE, rip records out of their cases and climb up and mess with record player, terrorize the cats, slap and kick us or just teach myself to be patient with any of these!!!!!!!!! hehe. 

So far this summer...

cutie got my mascara

Our summer staple

At the children's museum

Sea life aquarium

A few weeks ago we took a couple if trips to the aquarium. It's a little aquarium. In a mall. But the tickets were in special for $5 so we went and honestly...for a little aquarium in a mall it was pretty amazing. Well Frederick loved it so much. And I've decided aquariums are where it's at. So much better than zoos!!