We love to see the temple.

Last week my mom and I went into the Mesa temple and uncle Joe got his first ever babysitting gig. He hung out with Fred in the visitors center. He did a great job. I mean, he didn't change Fred's poopy diaper, but that was part of he deal--no diaper changing haha. Fred didn't seem to mind. 

It was another great time at the temple. I love being there with my son. We missed Collin who was at work. Fred's favorite part was seeing the Christus ("big Jesus.")

Another, more successful try

Got up extra early
Plenty of time to get us all ready
Many prayers aloud and in my heart
Pleading for a heart to heal and comfort for us all. Peace.
Bye daddy, then lay back, close to me, all eyes shut, suck suck suck. I drifted off, only 10 minutes had passed.
It's time. Pack up, out the door, bites of muffin, on the road. The sidewalk. The road; there isn't sidewalk, explaining all the way.
Insuring
Promising
Preparing.
Through doors, early so I could play and show him it's fun. A few tears, but they stop because it IS fun and Candy, the babysitter, is nice. We play basketball. Happy!
Its time.
Hug, kiss, vain reassurance, then gone, left, out, behind, alone.
Class starts,

breathing
Deeply
In
Out
Familiar
Lay down
Balance
breathe
Struggle
Sweat

It's been too long
My mind is free
Everything weighing so heavily lifts from my soul, heart, brain, up my throat, stinging, almost crying.
Then calm. Peace. Hard work. Why did I leave you?
Good.
Done.
Back to my world. Hugs. Mine eager; his tearful.
United
Home
Suck suck suck. Eyes drifting. Breath slowing.

What a morning.

So I joined a gym! And today I took a Zumba class which means Fred had his first day in the kids club. He cried hard. It was hard on me. They said he would settle down but every time a parent would open the door to drop off their child, he would start crying again. It was hard but after a lot of reading, advice from experienced moms, child care attendees and breastfeeding groups, talks with Collin and PRAYERS, I do believe that he will be okay and that it won't be a damaging traumatic experience in the long run. It's not the same thing as leaving him alone in the dark to "cry it out." There were sweet women who were holding him and comforting him. This will be good practice for going into nursery next month at church.

Thursday extravaganza

My morning was this....

 

 

My day was this....



 
 

 


My night was this......




I watched my friends three kids yesterday including a baby. It was HARD! And these kids are good! Really difficult to split my attention between all of them. I've never said, "No!" or "Stop!!" so many times in my life! Plus my Freddie was sort of jealous and is really rough with other kids! He loves to tackle-hug!!! It's cute with me but not so gentle on a 2 year old girl his same size. I tried playing with everyone. It was crazy and even dangerous! I tried bubbles outside. That was nuts! They all started climbing dangerous stairs! And on top of it sit got out. Ill tell ya, 4 comes in handy to corner a kitty!! We watched a couple of Yo, Gabba Gabba episodes, which they all loved, them I strapped them in strollers and carriers and we went for a walk.

Man, I really don't know if I can have my recently decided 4-6 kids. I know it's a little more gradual than this but still. I don't think I could do it and not ignore them or have a breakdown. We will see...

So then later we dropped Freddie off at their house and went with some other friends to the Mesa temple and did sealings. I was asking for what I needed to hear and I got Peace. Just feel the peace. It was so great. Plus this month CS and I will celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary. Oh la la. I love him.

Well after the temple we grabbed some Mexican food (delish. Don't even know the the name of this hole in the wall, but it was amazing) then picked up Fred. It had been a rough night for him. His first time away from us not in our home. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything. He was giddy with delight to see us (really ME, sorry Collin), and wouldn't let go of me or stop open-mouth kissing me on the cheek hehehe. I love that bug. My bum bum. My little doll. My bug-a-boo.

He was soon asleep and I had some time with my Collin. I love him so much. I feel like we are so close and getting along so well (marriage ain't always no picnic after havin a babe.) I'm his partner! Seriously! I shook on it!


Hello pines.

Date night//first time sitter//great night

Tonight we got a babysitter for the first time ever and Collin and I went on a yoga class date. The class was AHmazing. I really recommend Urban Yoga. The poses were just the right amount of challenging and the last 20 mins was deep stretching and staying in the stretch for a while. My back feels soooooo good right now. We got ice cream and then took the train home. Collin really enjoyed the class too. We had so much fun together.

Fred was asleep when we got home!! (a pleasant surprise as I thought he would have been hard to get down without me!!) we said goodbye to the awesome sitter and then I took the best shower ever! My Nexus shampoo smells so good and I was in heaven taking a shower that I didn't have to rush out of.

I FEEL LIKE 3 million bucks!!!!!!


Cue cute pictures of Fred.....