So much to blog about,

But let's just say SO many LIFE-CHANGING things have happened in the past week. So many TRIALS. So many BLESSINGS. And so many loved ones reminding me that Heavenly Father loves me through their love and service.

Every scripture lately and every talk today was about how Heavenly Father answers prayers. How we must be faithful till then end. How he will protect and provide for us as long as we stay faithful. And my nursery lesson was about being thankful. :) :) Love those little guys so much.

I know everything works out because I've been "here" before. And I knew it then and it did. I JUST AM SO GRATEFUL FOR MY HUSBAND AND MY KITTEN! They are the best family in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD (for me).

Also SO grateful for the temple. It's real. It's pure inspiration, service, and guidance.

I feel so much peace.


-Love, Nicole Elizabeth Money Smith

Here we go, through life. 
Okay, Heavenly Father, I trust you. 

A friend of mine took his life a year ago this past May. And today is his birthday. As people post their memories on his wall and tell them they miss him, my heart races, and I feel sad that he's gone. But I'm grateful for hope and love and eternity and forgiveness.
I know it's real.

With Red Berries

This is my favorite cereal. I love Red Flavored things. And I seriously want this box hanging from my ceiling.

here & there

Here I am at work for an hour and a half so far, while my family is at my house eating vanilla waffles and playing rumikub, and not one soul has come into the store.

My mom is coming in today to have me show her everything, give her hand massages, do her make up, etc, and then we might go to the D.A.R. headquarters and to see the Star-Spangled Banner.

Collin has a job interview today at 1pm. Poor guy is sick, but I know the Lord will guide us.

Then we'll have the most wonderful, and hopefully SLOW night ever together before mom, dad, AJ, and Joseph leave for the airport and back to the other side of the country tomorrow afternoon.

I cried yesterday and I could cry right now just thinking of it. I don't want them to go. It's so hard to even fathom. I just miss them so much. I prayed hard that we'd get along this trip, not be stressed, everyone would feel included, and we'd just have a great time together, and I really really got it.

My dad and I ate waffles this morning together before anyone was up. We talked and then he drove me to work. I called him to tell him I'm so sad that I'm here and not there. He told me it's okay and that I'll be out there in the fall in no time. I took deep breaths and prayed and was given just enough strength to remember that eternity will be us together forever, and that we've had the best time ever.

I'm just glad Collin gets to stay with me because without him I'd shrivel up and die. I love him. I love them. I love the truth that I have, and the forgiveness I'm given so that I can attain my most wanted goal: being together with my family forever.

Chakra

I am attracted to having harmony. That means I'm lacking that in my life and I'm feeling depression, loss of connection, and lack of caring.

It's true. I hate missing weddings, not yet meeting friend's boyfriend-&-potential-husbands, Joseph's last day of elementary school, the Phoenix dry heat, doing stuff with my mom, adventuring with Smith, watching movies at AMC theatre, and having lots of friends.

Seriously, I feel like having a girls slumber party. I feel disconnected from so much. And I hate that Collin and I separate and work all day in different states. There has to be a different option when it comes to growing up!

Well I sprayed Chakra #1 in the middle of my chest, and Chakra #4 at the bottom of my spine, so hopefully that'll work. Plus, I suppose I need to count my many blessings and endure and not look back! Okay! I'll try!!!

12:25am and I can't sleep, though Collin is sleeping like a sweet baby (and taking up the whole bed--love him!!) I looked up my mom's house on google earth on his phone and cried. Man, I've never been away this long before, and there aren't plans to get to Arizona till November!!!

Oh, but November, GLORIOUS November! No one has a clue how much joy the thought of that month brings to me. (not just that we'll be in AZ, believe me.)
I'll enter the temple with my darling sexy husband on our 2nd anniversary. And by then I believe many things will be right with my world again.
I go to the doctors on Wednesday to find out what a new and scary little bump on my body is. I hope it is nothing, as I'm told it will be.
We get to talk to Elder Money on Sunday!! His latest email was so touching; I'm proud of him!!
The atonement is real. I wish everyone understood it. It brings happiness! Peace.

Lastly, in this late-night blog, I will tell you (whomever is out there) of my love for the Ensign. It is so good!!! If you don't read it, start! It is modern day scripture and today gave me comfort when faced with a difficult decision.
I love my husband.
AJ went on a few dates with a cute girl and it makes me giddy beyond belief. My Morgan is totally in love. I think I can go to sleep now.

Az will be 98 this week!!!!! While you might be wincing, remember I'm in disgusting humidity where I'm drenched from sweat and it doesn't dry in 80 degree weather!! I envy Provo people right now.

7 O how great is the nothingness of the children of men; yea, even they are less than the dust of the earth.
8 For behold, the dust of the earth moveth hither and thither, to the dividing asunder, at the command of our great and everlasting God.

Helaman 12

I want to be more like the dust: obedient and humble before God.
Even though I am less than dust, Heavenly Father knows and loves me.

If we get our Visas tomorrow (and I have faith that they'll come!), Monday morning at 7am, Collin and I will travel to Mali in West Africa for an internship. We'll be doing an evaluation of 6 villages in 6 weeks in the area of Ouelessebougou for a non-profit organization here in Utah. They have hospitals, and schools there, and we'll visit each village, interview the chief, elders, children in the schools, teachers, the matron, doctors, etc. We'll have a chat with the women, do mapping and time line exercises, go on transect walks all the while documenting in every way possible.
The national language is French, but most in the villages speak only Bambara. We will have Malian translators who also work for the Ouelessebougou Utah Alliance. I understand French, for the most part, but have a hard time forming sentences. Thankfully, Collin served his mission in Paris, and will help me a lot.
Our goal is to gather information, analyze it, take it back to the villages later this year, get them involved in solving problems and making decisions, and ultimately to impower them and help them become more self-reliant.
I've gone through so many emotions, feeling pressure and inadequacy. But I'm prayerful and faithful that Heavenly Father will give me strength to do everything I need to do.
The church is not there at all, so it will be hard not to take the sacrament or go to the temple for 6 weeks. I believe this will make me even more grateful for these things in my life.

My beautiful perfect husband is sleeping next to me. He's my best friend. We've been married only 5 months and 3 days, but have already been through so much together. Though the trials have been hard, they've brought us closer and the happy times are even more.
I'll cuddle up to him now.