Mother

Yesterday in general conference, Elder Holland spoke of mothers and compared them to the Savior in love and sacrifice. I had never thought of such a thing! As a mother and person I am so far from being anything like the Savior. I can't even hold a candle to him. Yet Holland's words were so empowering. Not only was it nice for someone to recognize and sympathize with being pregnant, laboring, bearing, nursing and raising children but he also encouraged and comforted me. I felt like I can someday be like my Savior, Jesus Christ. I can try to be more loving, patience, honest, compassionate, kind, selfless, humble, teachable and non judge mental as he is. He makes up for my faults and failures. I am grateful for the words of the apostles and for how women are and have always been valued in the church and in the eyes of Jesus Christ and Heavnely Father. And I am grateful for my eternal role of mother.  

Mama mom mommy mother

Today I was reading in Aprils ensign about celebrating nurturers and I looked at my two sleeping cherubs and my heart gushed and grew for them. I was in anguish, repenting for not being better, so thankful I have any part in their lives. Then I watched this:

http://youtu.be/GQ4TPn8hjxI

And my heart burst with love for them the whole time, until the end, when I realized this video wasn't about me; it was about my own mother. It was her. She raised my brothers and me. She did so much and sacrificed every day for us, and most of the time we didn't even realize it. And thinking about all of this made me want to do and be better and work harder for my babies and my husband and even Montgomery and Dot. 

My mom, mother in law, sisters in law, and best friends are all amazing women and mothers and nurtures. I love me very much. Good night. 

Ps. Freddie's rate is 50/50 for if he will pose or smile when I ask him to for a picture. But ask him to lay down and take a picture with Hattie and he's there 100%. 

Spring has sprung!!!

Spring is in full force in Phoenix and you know what that means...it's 99 degrees!!!! Ahhhh!!! The pool water is getting warmer, the heat is getting closer, and I'm getting sweatier by the day.

We are loving the warm/cool breezy evenings and still cool mornings. But apparently the heat is record breaking for this time of year. Oh man, we have already started planning our mini summer trips that will get us as far from the heat as possible almost every weekend! 

Getting outside and even riding public transit as much as possible before it gets too hot to even step outside. Seriously. You can disintegrate. Below, Hattie's first bus ride. She alept most if the time. She loved it. Fred loves the bus sooooo much. I forgot to let him press the button to open the back doors and he was soooooooooooo sad. But don't worry--he got to press it on the way back.

I E I will always love you!!!

Love is a many splendored thing! Love lifts us up where we belong! All you need is love!!!

Happy happy Valentines day!! Growing up my mom always made a big deal on valentines: cards for everyone, decorating the table and house with hearts-galore, heart-shaped pancakes, meatloaf, potatoes, etc. In high school I didn't date much so Valentines day was a day for LOVED ones: dear friends and family. We would shower each other with pink tulips, chocolate, treats, cards, and glitter. (Or maybe not glitter but you get it. This is the girliest I ever was.) now that I'm married to the man of my dreams, I get to be super gushy romantic too. And I got Fred started early as he glued a million paper hearts on a card and let me trace his hand for Collin, and enjoyed a few suckers and sugars cookies himself. I love love! Happy Valentines Day, all!! 

 

 

 

and some oldies circa 2009...

Love, right now, is me changing a super stinky poop diaper even though I really don wanna.

Downton Abbey tonight.....spoiler alert...

...man that was horrible. It's hard to think of a time when a cesarean wasn't the norm. There has got to be a balance between not using unnecessary interventions in child birth, and using technology to save lives. Natalie, I see what you were saying about anxiety. I want to just trust and go with the flow and know it will happen when it's the right time.

These things must happen:

Yoga

Hypnobirthing for naps

Peace in my home

Focusing on being the best mother I can be to Frederick, my son

I thought i had escaped the sicknesses going around but Sunday I woke up puking my guts out (good bye 7-year no-vomit streak...grrr...I'll beat you one day, Jerry Seinfeld) and I've felt awful since. Frederick is just fine. He's had an incredible immune system! Breast milk...it's amazing!! Today was spent in bed but tomorrow we go out. Good night. And I leave you with this little dance number.

Mongolia

Here is a beautiful and interesting article about a mother's experience breastfeeding in Mongolia.

Breastfeeding in the land of Genghis Khan

It helped remind me that what my instincts are telling me is a normal thing. I loved the part on westerners' views of independence.

I don't understand why breastfeeding is such an uncomfortable thing for people. (Myself included! Before I had Freddie I had a friend say she was going to nurse her daughter till at least two and I was, I'm saddened to say, weirded out!!! I only hope and pray that I didn't discourage her or make her feel alienated in any way.) I was recently told that breastfeeding in public is not modest and that I should be aware of the religious consequences it would bring. But if God created me and created my breasts to fill with milk to sustain my baby's life, and if being a mother is my divine roll and the most important thing I will ever do, all things I believe with my whole heart, then what's the problem if I nurse my child in public, while living my life, making it easier on me, my child, family, friends? It raises my mental health by keeping me surrounded by people, allowing me to be out and about, helping me feel less lonely and strange, something most mothers experience after having a child. What's the problem if you see a little boob while a sweet mother, doing her best, tries to latch her baby or keep the interest of her hungry, yet distracted toddler? It's just a boob!!!!!!! Really!!!!!! I don't understand why it's considered not keeping private. Im feeding a human being!!!!! It is normal!!!! When breasts are used in pornography, or even just regular tv these days, to promote sex, then yes, that is inappropriate! that is degrading! It has the potential to break up families. And in some instances, that is considered okay, hot, praised. Geeez, what a backwards world we live it. Happily, I think our world is becoming more open and people becoming more educated and understanding that their way is not the only way (once again, including me! I do not think my way of parenting is the only way....it's the best way I know how for me and my son and my family; and it's my life, to try, learn, and grow. And I respect others to do as they feel is the best way.)
I think many people are much more open to possibilities and differences these days. Honestly, in public I've gotten nothing but Love from other moms/dads offering help or encouragement, sharing a story of their breastfeeding days. Its only on Facebook, behind the computer screen that people feel the need, (nay, the duty!) to put me in my place. Ha, oh well; that is their prerogative! I'm just an advocate for the breast, and the right to feed in public and not feel embarrassed or ashamed or alone, and also for the invigoration of doing what you need to do, what you were made to do, without a thought, anywhere you are, while satisfying a fundamental need and sustaining life.

Book Club

Today I had the first meeting of my new book club. There are four of us and I met them about 4 years ago. We all lived in Provo, UT together and now we are in Provo, Phoenix, Glendale, and Sioux Falls, South Dakota. We had our meeting over gchat (minus one that sadly didn't make it) about our first book, The Happiness Project. It was a great meeting because we not only discussed our book and ideas and goals, but it was like we were all hanging out. Our kids are all 4 and younger and they were around, playing, nursing, napping, crying. It was so exhilarating. After 2.5 hours we were done and I was so happy that Fred and I danced to Jai Ho super loudly.


Next book: Northanger Abbey
I've never been into Jane Austin but actually I've never really read it. Why not give it a shot? We picked this particular story because its shorter and we don't know what it's about at all. I'm excited!!!

Applebees Nurse-in 2012

Look at me....quite the little activist, huh.
I don't mean to be. I don't want to alienate anyone from me.
I'm passionate about certain things, and enjoy connecting with others also passionate about them. But I don't think my way is the only way or even the best way. It's just the best way for Fred and Collin and me.

So here we are at the Applebees Nurse-in on Saturday September 29th. (It was NOT a protest against Applebees of any kind, but a peaceful rally, to unite nursing mothers and bring awareness that nursing in public is okay!!!)

Basically, earlier in September, a woman at an Applebees in Georgia was nursing her child, and was asked by the manager to go to the bathroom to do so, or to leave. There is a law in GA, (the same as there is in AZ), that women are allowed to breastfeed in any place where they are lawfully able to be. She patiently told this manager her rights and then the manager called the cops and humiliated her and her family. Of course, the cops sided with the nursing mother, but it was a very unfortunate situation that could have been avoided.

I don't mind boobs. I truly believe that they are made to nurse. I know my husband loves them too, for other reasons, but he also respects that they have a very important function: sustaining the life of our child. Unfortunately our world has sexualized breasts to the point of extreme discomfort for a lot of people when it comes to nursing.

Think about it....when a woman is wearing something low cut, or tight, or revealing or sheer, it's considered HOT. But a woman is feeding her child, a truly beautiful gift from God, and heaven forbid a little skin shows, and people freak out with disgust. When a mom is just doing her best to take care of her baby. Well I support mothers and families! Women are expected to go behind closed doors and alienate themselves (when they are at a potentially lonely and challenging time in their lives...hormones and hanging with a babe all day make a gal starved for adult interaction! I swear!) or to put a blanket over their baby's head. Some people can do that just fine and I think that's great and fully support it, but I tried. I promise. Fred HATED it. We were both trying to figure out nursing in the first few months and I was timid and self-conscious as it were. I wanted to be with everyone when we had dinner company or hung out with friends (you know how social Collin and I are!) and I'd finally get Fred latched on, and then cover him up with a blanket and he'd get so upset, unlatch, milk would be SPRAYING everywhere, mortifying me and everyone else, and I'd end up flashing everyone anyway. So I finally said, Enough! I'm just going to nurse! If people don't like it they don't have to look or like me. And I'm pretty discrete anyway....(I think so...haha I could be totally wrong though!!)

I get not wanting to see other people's breasts when it is in a sexual context...most movies and TV, but when nursing? It's feeding a child...It's good for him and for me. It makes me happy and him happy. The World Health Organization recommends nursing to 2 years (which is my goal, by the way; I recently decided that I plan to wean at 2 years because that's what I feel good about. Collin feels good about it. Fred?? Well I think he'd nurse till forever if he could! I respect everyone's decisions on length of nursing with what works for them and their families! Love love love la-la-love, la-la-love makes the world go round!

Anyway...I could go on all day. I love mothers. I love them whether they nurse or formula feed. I love them because I know that I'm just trying to do my best, and they are too and I respect that so much.
Here are some photos from our fun day of Nursing-in. The managers at the Applebees we went to were super nice. All the people walking in and out of the restaurant were kind and respectful, too. We sat outside the place for a few hours and then afterward all went in and got food.

 (and she really is so supportive. I'm blessed with insanely supportive family (immediate and in-laws alike). I'm so so blessed.)

 Emily with Charlie, my mom with Fred. (Charlie and Fred like each other)

 super fun rally friends!

 I love my husband!

(some other signs we had were "if nursing in public bothers you, you can go eat in the bathroom " or "...then you can put a blanket over your head." hehe.)

babywearing, crafts, love

Friday at Babytime...I want an Ergo very badly. I have a Moby Wrap and that worked so great for us when Frederick was younger and didn't move much. It distributed the weight really well and left me hands-free while I could keep Fred close to me and he didn't have to cry for me to hold him constantly. But as he has gotten bigger, it's harder and harder on my back to wear him in it. The fabric is stretchy so when he moves, it loosens. It can also get hot, but I live in freaking Phoenix and take public transit a lot, so what the heck doesn't? So I totally recommend it for younger babies, but now I'm ready for something more sturdy. I tried on my friends Ergo and it felt like Fred weighed 2 pounds! I walked around super comfortably and Fred seemed to like it.

Blurry photos.....below is baby girl Charlie and Frederick being all boyfriend and girlfriend.

Fred chillin in his high chair.

My mom's bday lunch with her girls. They were all so sweet and cute. I hope I have a group of friends like this when  I'm.....53.... hehe sorry mom, but you look 38.

I love the temple and these ladies. We went as a Young Womens Presidency. It had been a few months for me so I was grateful to go. Then I ran over to Super Saturday for church. It was a huge craft party. I had signed up for 4 crafts and didn't get any of them finished, but I'll have lots of fun stuff to work on in the next month. I also took a toffee making class and am so excited! Let me know if you want Toffee. I'll make you some when it gets cooler. I really will.



While I was out at the temple and crafting and having fun, Collin was hanging with Frederick. I pumped a couple of bottles for him (and by the way, my left breast started hurting like heck two days ago!! not sure why! it feels better when I nurse or pump so I keep doing that...)

BUT so I figured that when I got home we'd clean up the house and then get working on MORE crafts (for Frederick's birthday). When I got home this is what I saw.....

He had cleaned the whole house and gotten all the crafts ready! Man oh man, what a guy!!!!!! During the temple the biggest impression I kept thinking about was that i need to be more patient with my dear dear dear Collin and Frederick (believe it or not, I can get really frustrated and take it out on them, which makes me really sad). There's no reason for me to get mad at them ever, so I'm going to try hard not to....I've already messed up, but I'll keep trying.

So a night of crafting began! Friend, Chelsea J, joined us.
 
 






Then we took a break, picked up Tanner J, and ate some delicious Cafe Rio. 

I think this picture deserves to be X-Large.



 

Found a pet store and loved some ridiculous cat stuff. 

 

THEN we crashed the Youth Stake Dance....(we were asked to help chaperon) but it was wicked awesome and I wicked embarrassed myself dancing like a wicked fool. I loved it.

My ADORABLE SON this morning before church!

 

Last ones....found this cute poster in the hallway at church. I love my husband. He's an active supportive amazing man husband & father. I just stared at him today, so grateful to be his wife, partner, and best friend.