A moment

I pull you in close, pleading to God, please let me remember this. I close my eyes, smell your hair, listen to all of your noises, trying so hard. The light from the bed side lamp creates a deep contrast between the light and the shadows. My eyes well with tears; I know it’s impossible. I know someday this night will become a blur of nights and years and that you will grow and grow and never stop. Then you’re cooing, laughing, squealing! I’m laughing and sobbing. I catch it on film, somehow!!! Your sweet and silly expressions, your electric blue eyes, wavy red hair that is already thinning and changing. You want to eat. I start to nurse you, and you hold on to my finger so tightly with your little hand.