June 29, 2012

June 27, 2012

up down up down up down

had a great day and then a rough evening. It was my first nervous break down as a mom, ever. perhaps a combo of lots of things. I can't fully describe the horrible feelings I had: suffocation, frustration, anger, sadness, failure, disappointment, denial, and guilt for feeling all those. I won't go into details but I couldn't take it. Frederick cried, I cried HARD, Dot got scared, and Monte woke up. Then I called Collin bawling. He talked me down (from the ledge?? ha!) and came home and everything got mostly better. then there was something dumb I did and argg didn't think. damaged without realizing. ugg. but we had a nice fresh dinner of fish with zucchini, tomatoes, herbs, lemon and orzo that I made and it turned out pretty delish.
so but I guess the whole freak out thing is normal, and everybody goes through that now and again right? But no one talks about it, so I just feel totally crazy. Every time I look at Frederick, I feel like the most horrible person for being mad at him. and Hormones are real, my friend. Have a baby, and you'll find out. You'll find out and you'll never be the same.

The weekend

Some clips from our weekend...

Fred at Babytime. Got the kitty in Old McDonald
Hanging with Uncle Joe
DATE night!!
Above: Collin//not addicted
Below: Fred//hates being in a basket of shoes
Almost done with Fred's room! (Just have to hang some art and a mirror//he loves life!
We went to the LDS Temple on Saturday. First I went in, and Collin stayed with Frederick, and then we switched. It was a hot day, but always beautiful to be near the temple.
Shrimp corn cakes with an heirloom tomato salsa and roasted potatoes.
We are LOVING our Cooking Light Magazine subscription!!
Ghosts at midnight??
Nap time