April 29, 2012

Tonight we

Took a drive to the Phoenix temple construction site, Skyped with family all over the country, and relaxed. Nice Sunday.

April 27, 2012

Coming to an end

I'm not so great at writing or expressing how I'm really really feeling but i can't say enough how grateful I am. I'm here with my mom for her last radiation treatment! They will take out her device, tubes, drains too-which have caused infection and much discomfort. We'll celebrate somehow this afternoon. But the humility and gratitude: I testify that God loves us. He allows us to experience pain. But it helps us grow and allows us to comfort and understand and help other people as they suffer. I have met a lot of beautiful wonderful women while bringing my mom to her treatments. There is this woman, Jennie, who has breast cancer and has been receiving radiation treatment for 8 months. She had two surgeries this week because they keep finding more cancer. She starts chemo next week. I had to turn away because I couldn't fight back tears. So many people suffering but God does love them. I know because despite hard things I have experienced in my family or in my own marriage and life, I'm able to recognize blessings. I'm thankful. I feel loved. My mom feels so blessed and loved and positive and well taken care of.

April 23, 2012


Took my mom to get her radiation yesterday. Emotional about all the cards and flowers in her home. She has touched many lives and is loved and admired by many.
My mom is doing pretty good. Just in a lot of pain with the device, tubes, and drains in her breast. It's very very uncomfortable. She said she has to turn her mind off to it because she knows it's necessary and will be over soon. It's just unbearably painful sometimes. But her spirits are good. She is grateful. She feels loved.
Also emotional when we got to the waiting room of the radiation/chemo cancer center. It was so full. That many people with cancer?? It's one in eight.
Mammograms save lives. Under the new government healthcare plan mammograms won't be covered by insurance until age 65!!!!! My mom is 53. The rate of breast cancer goes up substantially after age 50. Millions of cases of breast cancer will go undetected and untreated until the cancer has well-taken over. Millions of women will die. Self exams are good but can often miss things. Because my mom got her mammogram, her cancer was found early, it hadn't spread to the lymph nodes yet, she is having minimal radiation and so far still no chemotherapy, and most-likely after radiation is done, she will be fine! Back to normal life! Cancer research had come so far. It's an amazing miracle. Science, technology, and medicine is a miracle.

April 20, 2012

A visit with grandma @ the airport

Frederick and Grandma Lulu! Collin's mom had a layover in Phoenix for 4 hours on her way out to Monterey to see Collin's sister. We got to eat lunch and play. I love Freddie with his grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts. It's just the best. Mom Smith was so excited to see how much Freddie had changed in the month since we last saw her. Three teeth, crawling like a pro, so confident at pulling himself up and standing! It was a short but sweet visit!!

Happy news!

My mom is doing well. No cancer in her lymph nodes!! The tumors are completely out!! She has a tube, drain, and balloon in her left breast awaiting radiating twice a day starting Monday for a week! No chemotherapy is needed so far. Other than the discomfort of said objects and soreness, she is doing really well.
Gosh, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude because of all the kindness and prayers and faith on her behalf. But even more because of the fact that I know she is in God's hands. He loves her and has a plan for her and for our family. He knows the big picture. I know all of this for a fact. And if it were part of his plan for her, He could take her and it would be hard. One of the hardest things in my life. But I would know that it would be okay, and that this life is not the end, but is a short time in the spectrum of eternity. This is not the end of our existence. But she is going to be okay!!! What an incredible blessing! And what a blessing that we each have life and breath and this beautiful world everyday. Enjoy it! Don't waste it! Go outside with your husband and baby and kitties and friends. (I will. But I'll take a short nap first. We had to be up at 6 am today to watch our friends' children for the weekend.) ;)

April 17, 2012


So grateful for kind notes, people reaching out, friends, family, eternal family, plan of salvation, forgiveness, visiting teachers coming over tonight and talking to me for 1.5 hours, prayers, thoughts, love, snuggley baby who grew another tooth today, baby laughing with me for like 15 mins straight, husband who played wii with me for an hour, primary song: Child's Prayer, sincerity and humility, happy feelings!, faith, husband made artichokes, 6 week health challenge together, purring kitties, so many answers from the temple, and many other sweet things in this life.

We still know the same. My mom is home from surgery yesterday: tired and sore. Thank you to friends who are taking care of her when I can't be there. And for all the notes from family. We are waiting on tests. Doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm sleepy; we stayed up too late last night with Joe playing Ugly Doll card game and watching Canadian House Renovation show.

Good night. Someday I'll catch up on my wannabe chores:

*****the photos of Freddie and my mon were taken pre-surgery.

April 13, 2012

My mother. Breasts.

My sweet angel mother. She was diagnosed with breast cancer Thursday. Thursday was tears and thoughts of future and the shock of it all. Yesterday was learning to actually say it. Admit it. And yesterday was full of doctors, tests, knowledge, hope. The doctor is a man of faith, and believer in God. He prays before every surgery. He says God is the one in charge. They say they are going to cure my mom. Technology is a miracle these days. They will preform surgery to take out the cancer, then insert a balloon where the tissue was taken out. The radiation is inserted in the balloon for treatment twice a day for a week. That way only the effected areas receive radiation and studies say that 98% of the time if cancer comes back it comes back in the same spot.

Breasts. My life=breasts. Breast feeding. If you know me or spend time with me or read this blog you know that for the past 7 months it's what I've talked about, read about, and done all day (in many places during many activities). Breasts (breast milk) have fed my child, kept him alive and well for 7 months! It works!

Today we are going to the temple. We will find hope and peace and understanding. I know the plan of salvation is real and that we can be together with our families and love ones forever.

April 11, 2012


Took a two hour morning nap and woke up soooooo happy! Let's do this more often!!

April 10, 2012

Disney World!!!

While in Florida last month, we visited Disney World (for MY first time..I grew up going to DLand!!) with the Smith clan. It was such a fun day, and of course, a whole different experience as a mommy and dad at a theme park. We loved taking Freddie on a few of the rides, and enjoying being there with my brother and sister in law, Ian and Ashley and their kids. Freddie with his cousins is the best thing ever. Plus Collin's parents watched the kids for us quite a bit so that we could run off and have some fun. 

wooo! BFFs Fred and Lincoln ready for a day at Disney World!!!


One of the most awesome things ever when my niece, Kate, met her hero:

Tower of Terror!!!!!! SCARIEST RIDE EVER!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!