October 24, 2013

Big brother

Fred asks multiple times a day to see the baby and I have to pull up my shirt and everything so he can rub, hug, talk to, listen to my tummy, play w my belly button etc. it just makes me want to burst open w love and excitement. We talk about when the baby comes and what it might be like. 

The last week has been hard because I've decided to be strict on nursing just once a day--for the mid-day nap. I love nursing, so so much, but now it's painful and uncomfortable and I don't want to do it. So we had our first ever family meeting and all agreed that it would be just the once a day.

Although Fred made his verbal agreement, there have been a lot of tears, talking, reminding, tantrums, frustrations, etc. 

Tonight while Fred was falling asleep we had the sweetest time together that made up for the hard times in the past few days. He loves me. He loves the baby. We just sat together and he grew tired, and had his arm across my belly. I just stared at him and thought about him as a big brother and didn't want it to go so fast. He said, "milky is sleeping," as if he was saying he would love to have some, but knows it's not possible right now. I said, "yes, and also remember we agreed to just have it once a day, "to which he answered, "once a day." This is so emotional to me. 

Part of me realizes that in the future I will look back on this time and ache to be able to nurse my little boy again...and here I am, ending it. But what makes it ok in my brain and heart is that I know he's growing up and learning to deal with his emotions in other ways and that's important. 

Then just now talking to Collin about it all, verbalizing it all, and again typing it, thinking about it, my eyes well up with tears. He really is growing up and there's nothing I can do about it. This change is huge. And more giant changes I can't even comprehend are coming. 

I'm a giant knotted up ball of emotional hormones right now!!!

Okay so now a bunch of photos of all my darlings:

October 23, 2013

Iced pumpkin cookies

Iced pumkpin cookies, yummy yum!!! Here's a good recipe I found: 

Fred LOVES to help in the kitchen. He loves to stir, measure, hold pan handles, turn on the mixer and on and off the lights. He even settles for watching sometimes...rarely...okay maybe once. He loves to help cook, and loves to help eat! 



October 20, 2013

Family story time for crazies

Fred didn't take a nap till 1 today since we were at a bday party this afternoon. We all ended up napping for a very very long time. Fred woke up super cranky crazed and wanted the caterpillar book. Fine. Then he starts shouting out demands like, "PUT THAT DOOOOWN."

Nuts o.

AZ state fair!!!!!

What a great day at the state fair!!! (Our only complaint was that it was almost 90 degrees and we were sweating the while time!! Freddie LOVED it. He just stared at everything, was taking it all in. He wanted to go on every ride...especially the super giant crazy ones ("I want dis!" And pointed UP.) but sadly he could only go in 3 rides in the whole place because even for all the kids rides one had to be 36 inches tall and Fred is 32. But he loved the few he went on...err mostly. That kid us so funny, when he was actually finally on a ride, he seemed kind of indifferent, Haha.

Well I rode zero rides. I mean, I'm 33 weeks pregnant, so I figured it would be pretty limited, but I couldn't ride anything at all. It was the fair policy that no one expecting could go on any ride. I couldn't even sit on a bench on the carousel!! But hey, I didn't mind a bit. I ate tons of delicious fair food, and that's what's most important!

October 16, 2013

Halloween in our front yard

And more.....boooooo wahaahahaha!!!

^^we were chaperones at the youth Halloween dance and went as POP ART.
It was fun but teenagers are crazy and I'm terrified to ever have one.

D. Finn^^
My man going nuts on the dance floor.
My fav #1 costume of the night: Finn from adventure time. Genius. 

My pumkpin heads.

October 13, 2013


This weather
Teaching Yw today
My husband. I needed him so much this week and he has been there for me every moment. 
Arizona!! I was so down on it all summer but it really is an incredible place to live and I feel blessed to be here. 
The Priesthood!!!
Priesthood blessings
Comfort and confidence I've been given today. I feel I can move forward and continue preparing. 
Trials of my faith. It was a really hard trial for me and I tried to have faith. Heavenly Father is giving me so much love today for trying. 
People around me lifting me up so much. 
The youth curriculum!!! It's crazy freaking awesome. 
My babe inside and outside. I am so grateful. I am beyond blessed. 

Jumping on the bed!!
Jesus Christ!
Jillian my cousin! 

Exciting things coming up like holidays and friends and my in laws coming. 

My mother who selflessly helps me day after day after day. 

My father and his knowledge, love, support, trying to understand me. 

Extra work for Collin. 

Our awesome car that someone GAVE us!!! I love it!!! It's the best ever!!!! 


So many people today texting me and telling me if I need anything to not hesitate to ask them for help (since I stayed home with sick Freddie from the first two hours of church.) I didn't even know they cared!! But they do!!

Okay I have to go inside and spend time with my family!! Count your blessings man!!!! I could go on forever!!!!! 

October 11, 2013

Desert Botanical Garden

This place is super pretty, it was 75 yesterday, and I got a free pass from the library (each ticket usually $18...whoa mama!) SO off we went for an afternoon with  the cacti.

"A pumpkin," he said.

October 7, 2013

Big. Boy. Bed.

It happened. Frederick got a bed. A real bed. I didn't even mean for it to happen but it was perfect and it did. 
We played the whole thing up all day, talking about when dad gets home and we put sheets on and move the bed into his room and how he will go to sleep in his NEW BED!
It worked. He was super excited and went to sleep easily. Let's hope it continues to go well. 

He's getting way too old. 

October 6, 2013


I'm so grateful for my amazing eternal family. I love them!!! They make me so happy. I love you, Collin. I love you. I'm so grateful for general conference and the prophet and the personal revelation I'm receiving. I especially loved elder Dube's talk yesterday and learned what Heavenly Father wants me to hear in regards to my calling and relying on him.
The prophets words about his wife were heartbreaking, sincere & so full of hope. I love him and will follow him always. 

October 5, 2013

October is great!!

It's so nice out; people will now hang out w us!! We go on lots of play dates to the park. This park is our favorite: East lake park. In the 1800s there was a lake in this spot and one time the salt river flooded and two gators ended up here for a while!!
We go on lots of walks. I try to keep up. 
Kitties in the complex 
Hey kitties, don't run! Fred just wants to hold you and squeeze you and love you forever. 
Looking for airplanes
When did you get so grown up?
Library toddler time. He loves this beanbag song. "Put it on your head and walk around the room."
Naps, everyday.
We love baths!!!!
My buddy. 

I volunteered at a little consignment sale do I could shop at the Presale. It was fun and I got some good stuff. Reminds me of the gigantic sale we went to in DC, Natalie!!! 
Crazy guy!!!!!!!!!!!
Cute pirate
Back in feb 08. Dating long distance. Who are these funny skinny people?????
Happy TENTH anniversary to Jayna and Matt Hedges!!!!
Happy birthday, Morgan!!!!

October 2, 2013

Happy October!!!!!!

Its here..... eeeeeeeeeeheheheheheheee!

Eyeball eating
We are a pro candy corn family!!! This was Fred's first experience w it and he fully approves!!!

Happy spooking to you........