February 11, 2017

recent spiritual revelations and impressions. things I'm learning and trying.

I am supposed to be in this ward; supposed to learn from these women. They are going through things that I will be going through in the next 13+ years. They are sending their chidlren into tthe world at school, on missions. Their children are preparing for educations adn adventures and marriage. I am blessed to have all of these mentors and examples.

We need to have more fun in our home with our kids. I know everyone will say, "Nikki and Collin are so fun!!! And we do have a lot of fun...but life has gotten stressful with another baby (also wonderful, of course). But stress is added to everyone, and less time and more things to do, fewer hands to do them with. We become short. When kids don't cooperate, we make threats, which they never respond well to. We are learning and coming out of certain things and starting new things. The period of adjustment is big for us all. The holidays were quite emotional and stressful on us this year and we are also learning and adjusting from that. Learning to let go and forgive and grow. Not judge. Understand and accept. Teach forgiveness. So all of this is going on and our kids start getting stressed out and acting out and I realize that they seem quite unhappy at the moment. They are having a hard time even wanting to go to school, or with even the smallest amount of cooperation. I prayed. "How can I help them figure this out? How can it get better? Please inspire me."
And then I start cleaning and thinking. And it all comes to me.
We need to have more fun. We get out on adventures, do "fun" things, keep busy. But day to day, at home, I rush myself and them too much. I demand the word, "hurry!!" too much. Collin and I put too much pressure on ourselves, take ourselves so seriously, get offended more easily. This transfers to when our kids want to play, us either saying no, there's not time, or just playing a little and getting tired out. Not laughing about things enough. Not taking the time to let them do it their ways. And when we do an activity, taking too much control. We barely have the brain space to think. And being a parent takes a lot. So we are learning and adjusting and this is part of it.
So we discussed this and Collin agreed and we agreed to try so hard to just have fun.
Say yes.
Have more energy and a happier attitude.
Let our stamina outlast theirs in any game or activity instead of ending it, leaving them to beg for us to keep going.
But how??
According to the Happiness Project, you make it till you make it.
If you need more energy, pretend you have more energy until you have it!
If you need to be happier and let things slide off your back and bounce back and have an upbeat, optimistic attitude, just pretend you can do all those things, and I honestly believe that they will happen.

Goals. I've been listening to The Alison Show podcast. SO inspiring.

Two pieces of advice have stuck out to me.

PRIORITIZE. She insists that if you don't prioritize your life, then someone else will prioritize it for you. MIND BLOWN. So in everything I do, when I start getting overwhelmed or start multitasking to the point that I'm just running around and not realy finishing anything....
prioritize. "What are the most important 3 things right now?"

(this morning)
1. Finish this post. I need to clear my head, write this down, type with my fingers, and feel like I understand myself.
2. Make the kids breakfast.
3. Set up Monopoly JR so we can all play during breakfast and throughout the day.

(in my life this weekend)
1. write down a few things I want to do in Stockholm in a book.
2. help Collin with bringing in the shelf.
3. finish VT report.


52 stories week 5

What will be the greatest achievement of your life?

Raising my children with Collin. It's what I'm on this earth for. I think this is different for everyone, and there isn't one right answer. My kids have big dreams already and I want to dedicate my life to guiding them and helping them reach their goals. 

After they leave the house to live their lives, as I continue to emotionally support them, I would love to be involved in the birthing world: educating, supporting, assisting, encouraging other women as they become mothers.

I would also love to live long enough to celebrate 60+ years of marriage with Collin Smith. I want to travel and serve with him all my life.