smith life now

No matter how tightly I hold her hand on our way to her last day of preschool, it won't change the fact that when Harriet Jillian comes back out of school today she will be a KINDERGARTENER. IM HAPPY that's she's happy and learning and growing but sobbing because it's so so hard to think of her growing up so fast.
I asked her if she wanted to do anything special for her teacher for the last day of school and she knew exactly what she wanted to do. She made Ms Heather a very thoughtful card and picture thanking her for being such a great teacher and loving her, picked some basil from our garden and tied a bow around it, and made her some oatmeal cookies (with my help of course.)  She has grown up and learned so much this year and I know she’s ready to start kindergarten this fall.

 You would think that it would get easier having gone through this with Fred already, but it’s almost gotten harder because I know what’s coming! I know it’s hard to have them gone every day and then in first grade all day every day. I know they grow up fast and they go through so much; there’s so much adjustment; there are good times and also hard times. I am grateful for the opportunity to go to the Waldorf school and school in general. I know that it’s the right thing for all of us. It’s just really hard seeing my babies grow up. They need me less in the familiar ways and more in other ways. But I know that it is God’s plan for them and that he is with them and will protect them. I’m doing everything I can to teach and love them and I will never stop being here for them.

I’m so proud and grateful for each of my beautiful children. I’m also grateful for the two people who were there when I took my first breath, my mother and father. Parenting is hard and wonderful and joyful and hard and scary and rewarding and challenging and strengthening and empowering and  confusing and fun. And hard. It’s hard seeing them go through things even when I know it’s important that they do I’m appreciative of all my parents have done for me.

And then i realized that this is the LAST DAY I have with just Ella and me. After todayHattie will be home, then Fred and when school starts again it'll be the baby and Ella and me!!! We've come on a date to honeysuckle coffee shop. I’m drinking a giant pot of hibiscus berry tea.

“It’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring. He bonked him head and went to bed and closed him eyes.” —Ella Claire