52 Stories week 7

What have been the most important and valued friendships in your life?

My parents and brothers have always been important to me. I have always found myself wanting to please them. I've not always been certain of their approval and trust of me. My family doesn't like to talk about how they are truly feeling. It seems there is a lot of hurt and shame from the past. I have always known I'm loved and cared for, but am I liked? Unconditionally?

When I was little, my cousins were everything. But as I grew up, friends became very important to me. Friends whom I could trust became my family. I'm a social person. I'm pretty open about my feelings and who I am. I have a lot of friends and love people. I try to be considerate and kind. I have insecurities when it comes to wanting others to like me and approve of me. 
To this day there are only a few people in my life who know everything about me. I feel a deep sense of gratitude for friends in my life. 

Best friends:

Morgan Cummard Skeen
Jayna Brugman Hedges
Kim Valenzuela Woodbury
Anne Costa
Emily Larsen Dyer
Samantha Crowther

These women have been unconditionally supportive, loving and understanding when no one else was. 

My relationship with my parents has grown in the last 8 years. My mom is my best friend and my dad and I are seeing more eye to eye and meeting each other with more understanding and courtesy than ever before. I view my mother in law, Ludona, as someone I can talk to about most things. She has a different perspective, and also is forgiving and understanding of me. I know she truly cares. 

I am developing my relationship with my sister in law, Amelia, whom I ADORE with all my heart, and want to repair damaged relationships with my other two sisters in law, Ashley Smith and Kendra Mattox. 

52 stories week 6

Do you know the story of how your grandparents met and fell in love? 

No, is the answer, so I asked my parents. 

My dad said, about his mom and dad Fred Money and Constance Frehner:

Dad was a very popular Brigadier at BYU (The big campus social club of the 50s). Mom was the Las Vegas Homecoming Queen.   They met at a BYU Dance, Dad thought mom was beautiful.


My mom's parents, Robert Nesbit and Cecil Abbott

“The First Time I saw Cecil”

I was in Church at Philadelphia Branch and I saw Cecil for the first time. She caught my attention immediately. She had on a white dress. I had just come down from Atlantic City where I was stationed at Pamona Naval Air Base. We had a church group meeting in Pleasantville, New Jersey,  I was 21 at this time and enjoyed going to all the activities.

                We started talking at the activities and one night we ended up washing and drying dishes.  I mentioned to Cecil that I wanted to go to the Pageant in Palmyra, New York. She asked her Father to go and off we went. I remember we drove upstate with her Mom and Dad and Eloise. Eloise was a friend that had heard we were going and wanted to go.  I sat in the middle of Cecil and Eloise in the back. We had a good time. We stayed together the whole trip, we went to the pageant, toured the grounds, walked through the Sacred Grove together. It was the beginning.

                From that time on we were always together. Our youth group was very active and we were always having some sort of activity.  Cecil and I served refreshments for all the firesides.

Cecil's side of the story...

...they started talking about Palmyra. He needed a ride. I asked my dad if we could take Bob. I figured he would get there and go off with the missionaries. My dad said yes, and we all went up. Bob spent the whole time with us. He got a room where we were. We took Eloise Thomas with us so she could go. We had a wonderful time teasing Bob all the way up and back, he sat between us. I guess that is where I began to fall in love with Bob. When I met Bob, after a week or so, after I had gotten to know him, I had a strong feeling of here is the man I’m going to marry. It wasn’t like “Oh I’m in love,” because you don’t fall in love like that but it was just that when I was a kid I read Added Upon and had this feeling that when you met the one who is going to be your husband you would know him, so this was it, I felt like I knew him. He used to laugh at me and say ...there wasn’t just one person that was the right one for you, there could be any number of people that could be just the right person for you. I was sure there was just one, and he was it so that was just fine.

Our first formal date came about due to a misunderstanding. Many of the adults were talking and Cecil said to me, “They’re all going to the Ice Capades and I thought she was trying to tell me that she was being left behind and wanted me to take her. So I told her I would take her. I bought the tickets and we went together that night. We watched half of the show and than left. We were more interested in each other than watching the ice show. We went to Cecil’s home and decided when I would receive the Priesthood; we would go to temple to be married.  Now remember we had spent quite a bit of time together.    (Approx. Sept-Oct 1948)

Mom’s version: ...we were always together, doing things together, but we never went on a bonified date. Dad must have thought I was hinting, but I didn’t really. All we really wanted to do was be together. I’m sure he would have kissed me that night, because we talked about getting married. It was nice, because before when I was going out with your dad, every night before we would leave each other we would have a prayer together or when we were finished we would have a prayer together. That gives you a nice, sweet feeling about things, you’re not going to do anything you shouldn’t. That was what kind of relationship we had.

One night we were at the church having such a good time with June and Al, who were real good friends of ours, and so funny. When it came time for us to go home we went outside to catch the trolley to go home.  Daddy said to me, “Would you like a dime to go on the trolley” and he didn’t go with me. I thought, "what’s going on?" I couldn’t believe it! Well I found out he had one dime to his name that night. And that dime was the only thing standing between him and getting back to Atlantic City. He didn’t have two dimes to take me on the trolley so he couldn’t take me home. Why didn’t he just say to me, "Hey, I don’t have the money to take you home," and I’d have supplied my own dime. I had to anyhow and then we could have gone together at least. I just felt so bad that he couldn’t take me home and all he had was a thin dime. He probably had to hitch hike home that night.

52 stories week 5

What will be the greatest achievement of your life?

Raising my children with Collin. It's what I'm on this earth for. I think this is different for everyone, and there isn't one right answer. My kids have big dreams already and I want to dedicate my life to guiding them and helping them reach their goals. 

After they leave the house to live their lives, as I continue to emotionally support them, I would love to be involved in the birthing world: educating, supporting, assisting, encouraging other women as they become mothers.

I would also love to live long enough to celebrate 60+ years of marriage with Collin Smith. I want to travel and serve with him all my life.

52 stories Nikki week 4

What would you want your friends and family to learn about making and achieving goals from your example?

I love to journal. It is a part of me. It's not hard at all. I was raised by a mother who was a record keeper, list maker, letter writer, and documenter. I've always kept journals. I have hundreds of notes from friends in high school, notebooks written back and forth from Jayna, and letters, postcards and cards I've received throughout my adult life.  My senior year of high school, my friend, Sarah Pace, gave me a red notebook with lined white paper in it for Valentine's Day. She told me to write everything down in it. (I'll have to find it for the exact quote on the inscription.) From that day forward, I kept "books," as I called them. I wrote down my thoughts, funny things people said to me, observations, poems and stories, drawings, kept clippings from magazines, and more inside. I would go through them like crazy. I've lost count lately but I have at least 200. I remember counting to about 120 just before I was married. I have them all in boxes. Collin has to deal with them each time we move! (sorry!! -not sorry- hehehe)

Now, they have evolved and even slowed down as I've had children and have had less time, and fewer hands to write with. But with smartphones came easy blogging, instagram, and chatbooks. So I'm still ever observing, documenting, journaling. I still bring whichever notebook I'm working on to church every week and I still take notes and write down impressions I have. What will this all amount to? 

What does this have to do with goal making and keeping? 

Did I even answer the question? 

The world may never know. 

(oh yeah---moral of the story....I write things down and it helps me remember things better. and I feel accountable because it's in writing. I can look back on different things I've learned and changes I've made and goals I'm still working towards.)

Collin's #52stories

Collin

What Goal Do You Hope to Achieve This Year?

in 2017, my goal is to bring daily happiness into my home and family. Why? Because we need a little Christmas, right this very minute! And a ton of other great broadway songs floating through the house to lift us all up and help us feel joy.

When I was in the MTC, I sang like crazy; in the halls, in the shower. At first my other 19 year old peers were generally confused, and some put off by my unabasehed enthusiasm. But over time, as I kept it up and sang out of the sheer joy that I felt, other’s did the same. Better yet, our MTC District was happy and had a sense of connectedness.

My family is not used to winter; or waiting until 8 am for the sun to rise; or snow to cover everything and freeze us to the bone. We want to feel warm when we are together and bring light in both physical and metaphorical ways, into our home and to others. 

So singing will be one way to bring happiness into our home every day.

What else will I do this year to bring happiness into my family daily? 

• Read my scriptures every day
• Pray personally and as a family twice daily
• Attend the temple monthly
• Prepare and take family names to the temple bi-monthly
• Talk to my brother, sister, mom and dad at least once a month

Say nice things, be nice, sing, get down on the floor, say yes to whatever my kids ask to do with me more. Less trying to get “me” time, less time on my phone (at anytime: work, transit, home, bed), less complaining, less waiting for others to do something before I do something.

52 questions week 3

What goals are you actively working toward right now?

I have been walking in the mornings with a few friends on my street. It wasn't working out to do stroller strides right now, so we've been loading the kids up in the double stroller and heading out in the freezing, foggy, snowblizzardy winter. I hate winter, guys. At least when it snows it's pretty. Jan and Feb are just ugly when it's cold. 

The air is starting to get bad, so I'm not sure how long these walks will last. But I am also making a couple of friends while walking. 

But still, I miss being with people who KNOW me and LOVE me for me. I feel a great unrest within my soul right now. I feel lonely. I feel so much all at once. I want to 

a. attend yoga weekly. I am so inspired by my yoga instructor of 1 year now. She is the most incredible person, Alicia of Salt Lake Prenatal Yoga. (and post natal yoga, and mommy and me yoga). She made a HUGE difference in my pregnancy with Ella. So much healing happened. So much confidence and faith developed. Tonight was no exception.

b. forgive

c. have confidence. I know I'm doing what is right for me and I cannot feel sorry or regretful for that. 

d. be happy RIGHT NOW. choose happiness!

52 questions week 2

#52 questions
Week 2

What is something you taught yourself to do without help from anyone else?

I have taught myself to love learning. This isn't something that came to me growing up. I didn't discover it until about age 26/27 as I was finally getting my Associates degree. I enjoyed travel and adventure and learning about new things and people, but I didn't know that I actually loved doing work and getting good grades until it felt too late. It still feels too late, even though I know, of course, it's not. 

Learning to love learning has helped me so much in motherhood. I feel like I was able to educated myself on childbirth and things that mattered to me. I educated myself on breastfeeding and raising kids. I like to look to research and science for answers to problems that arise as well as studying the Gospel and scriptures when searching for peace.

I also taught myself to use a PoGo stick, and am quite good at it. 

Collin #52stories week 1

Collin

What Goal Do You Hope to Achieve This Year?

in 2017, my goal is to bring daily happiness into my home and family. Why? Because we need a little Christmas, right this very minute! And a ton of other great broadway songs floating through the house to lift us all up and help us feel joy.

When I was in the MTC, I sang like crazy; in the halls, in the shower. At first my other 19 year old peers were generally confused, and some put off by my unabasehed enthusiasm. But over time, as I kept it up and sang out of the sheer joy that I felt, other’s did the same. Better yet, our MTC District was happy and had a sense of connectedness.

My family is not used to winter; or waiting until 8 am for the sun to rise; or snow to cover everything and freeze us to the bone. We want to feel warm when we are together and bring light in both physical and metaphorical ways, into our home and to others. 

So singing will be one way to bring happiness into our home every day.

What else will I do this year to bring happiness into my family daily? 

• Read my scriptures every day
• Pray personally and as a family twice daily
• Attend the temple monthly
• Prepare and take family names to the temple bi-monthly
• Talk to my brother, sister, mom and dad at least once a month

Say nice things, be nice, sing, get down on the floor, say yes to whatever my kids ask to do with me more. Less trying to get “me” time, less time on my phone (at anytime: work, transit, home, bed), less complaining, less waiting for others to do something before I do something.

#52 stories week 1

Collin and I will be blogging the answers to 52 questions, 1 per week, this year, to help us in writing our personal histories. Here's a link with more info on the project:

52 Stories

So here is the question and Nikki's answer fir the 1st week in 2017...

January
Goals & Achievements

What goals do you hope to achieve this year?

I actually just posted our family's goals for the year but I'll expand on each: the reasons behind them and update on how I'm doing 2 weeks into the New Year.

This year I hope to reach these goals:

1. Make a real friend. 

I have some extremely close friends. A few women I would do anything for and who I know would have my back in any situation. We talk often and I rely on them heavily when I am having a hard time or when I want to share goodness, but they live in AZ!!! and DC!!! and Japan!!!! Sheesh. I have some good friends around the state/valley in Utah and we are making friends here and there in our ward but I want to really focus on developing some of these relationships. You out there: my dear best friends already, you reading this now: I could never and would never replace you. Friendship to me is family. It's real. It's forever. I need a best friend neighbor to add to the bunch.

2. Exercise; take care of my body; be HEALTHY.

I had a baby. And I gained a lot of weight (about 60lbs) with that first little guy and never really lost that weight. Then I started working out but before I got totally healthy, I had another babe. I worked out a lot during that pregnancy and gained a minimal normal amount (but then ended up having high BP due to stress just the last few weeks). After that I still had that extra stuff from the first pregnancy. I was working out and then came babe #3! YAHOO! I had a very healthy pregnancy. I ate really really well, and toned down the working out to walks and low key aerobics. I gained only about 30 lbs again..minimal normal weight...and had a super healthy awesome birth too. So here I am, 8 months postpartum and I'm working out a few times a week (I wish I could do more, but very little time these days), and I still have a ways to go. I've never been one to focus on numbers; I've never owned a scale. I don't believe in focusing on losing a certain amount of weight. But I want to be healthy. I really desire this. I want to feel good in my body. I want to be a good example to my children and to be able to stay young and healthy for them as much as myself. I want to work hard at making good choices when it comes to eating. I have a goal of not eating fast food this year (or my kids.) I also want to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. I have been so used to just eating at normal meal times and just a plateful. I have been trying to learn to listen to my body.

3. Make our house a home. 

We spend a lot of time in our home. We want to love it. We want the kids to love their rooms and to feel comfortable. And we want to have lots of parties!!!

4. Prayer on my knees morning and night.

It makes my prayers more sincere. (So does the fact that I need all the help I can get while raising my 3 little stinkers and trying to strengthen my relationship with Collin.) I love the comfort that comes from prayer, the self-reflection and feeling that I belong and have purpose. 

Well, here's to 2017 and to Collin's gorgeous hair in humidity. (and in general. boyfriend has the best hair ever and I love when he lets it go wild. Collin, your goal this year should be to let your hair be wild and curly more often and to go on lots and lots of adventure dates with your lovely wife.)