But here, in my hands, the living proof. We had time to write birthday cards and send thank yous for no reason other than we loved each other. My heart is full to spilling over reading the words of friends and family members who are so so so far away. Who I wish I could embrace right now. Each of them. A different life that was. Lifetimes away. Flagstaff and Africa and Florida and DC and Provo and grandparents and birthday after birthday card. My mom has written me faithfully my whole life and now my kids get cards from her. And I married a man who's mother and father still send cards too. My heart is full, reading their words. Handmade cards, those silly cute ones with card board foam pictures on the front. A dog in a party dress. Anniversary notes. So many Halloween and Valentine's Day cards. I feel so..... loved. I feel I matter to people. I'm reminded of my love, my deep deep love for Collin and for my friends and family. So many kind and thoughtful people. So many different people who I have known and loved. So many different stories. My mind is blown; my heart is packed tightly. I feel an emense amount of gratitude. And longing to get back in touch. Write real letters instead of just comments on social media. I want them to know they really really matter to me.