3 years, gone girl

We are laying here, all sleeping..well I'm awake now. It's so overcast and rainy outside. Very very quiet and calm and peaceful. Frederick will be 3 on Thursday. Hattie, 9 months on Friday. They are growing up before my eyes. I'm growing up too. I still feel young though. I feel like I'm a kid in a 30 year old's body and they are my little buddies. I feel confident about the future. I feel loved by my husband. Sometimes my mind and insecurities play tricks but he loves and needs me. He even likes me, thinks I'm funny, says he needs me. I'm trying to never be critical because I'm so in love with him. He is so smart and funny. This morning he was doing a funny silly bit for the kids and I went outside my body, observing my life and I went weak at the knees looking at him. When he tells me everything is alright, it is alright. I don't feel scared or sad. Our bond has real power.

Frederick will be 3. My role as mother to him has challenged and shaped me. It teaches me and humbles me. These angels are the future.

He mostly get that it is or is going to be or was his bday. 3. I told him we were going to have a party and he gasped. He loves people. He is just so friendly!!! He says, "Hi, what's your name?" And, "my name is Frederick." If someone doesn't hear him or doesn't answer, he comes to me, a little disappointed. I smile and tell him it's ok and it's just good to be friendly and kind to everyone. This boy will change the world. He is special. He is a child of God. He love to sing and dance in the aisles of the grocery store. He loves to tell me, "mommy I gotta show you!" And shows me something he has found that is just gorgeous and special and unique to him.

He loves spending time and adventures with me. He adores his father and protects his sister. He cheers her on in every accomplishment she makes and confidently announces, "yay, I DID it!!" When he has done something he's proud of...even something like catching a ball. His enthusiasm and optimism and forgiveness inspire me every day. He is compassionate. When something goes wrong he says, "aw, that's too bad." Or when I cry he says we should say a prayer (and then spends the whole time without arms folded and usually yelling or singing something!! Haha, we are working on that one!) but I know he knows prayer is important and that it works. He lives and loves 100% and I'm so so deeply grateful to call him mine. Heavenly Father has a plan for him and loves him very much.

He's growing up but he's still little. I still have lots of time.

My FIRST born, at 4-6 months!


cheering Joe Joe on at his football game

The zoo!!

Yesterday Freddie and Emily and Charlie and I took a trip to the zoo. It has been 110-15 lately and the forecast said like 98 so we thought it would be great. But it was still insane hot and really really humid. We had a great time anyway, enjoying lots of animals, the seriously awesome splash pad, and other kids. Freds favorite is usually the goats at the petting zoo but this time we did it last and after a few hours of walking around (and he insists on walking always now..."I want walk!") he was so tired that he sort of could have cared less about those super smelly goats. He did talk to them a little. Maaahaaa.

On an update note, Fred is getting so big and independent. He counts to 10, loves the letters F ("for Freddie"), W, S, X and H, and the colors red and white. He now insists on me feeding him at every meal which he is very capable of but I think its his way of still being my baby. He knows that something is coming. He might not be able to comprehend it, but neither can I, but I know he is very aware.

He talks so much; its so fun to communicate. With all if this growing and independence comes more frustration for everyone but we try to stay patient........ha. :)
I'm feeling great. Just get tired and out if breath easily, but IM continuing to work out a few times a week, we are in the middle of taking Hypnobirthing classes again and are loving practicing and studying together daily. I cannot wait to give birth again and to have another little baby, for frederick to have a sibling, to grow our family.


The pictures uploaded backwards and im not redoing it. byyyyye. 

turtles mating and charlie screaming

splash pad happy stuff

a bird trying to eat a snake

Zebra
!!

More jumpin!!

We finally used up our gift certificate at Skyzone. Although the employees are insane, that place is awesome, and we love it. And hate it. And really love it.

LAST TIME and THE TIME BEFORE, Fred was fearless...but this time he was all WHAT THE bouncing floor?!?! But after a while and some good dancin tunes, he got comfortable and went for it. 

childrens museum, dyers!

The dyers moved down the STREET!!!