sun day.

freddie and momma

passed out with Grandma

halloween possibility????

nap time

this morning: frederick is one month old today. one month ago this moment collin and freddie and i were cuddling in bed at blossom birth center for our first night together. we were all tired. we had all worked hard to be together. we were all a little in shock. but there was quite a lot of love in that bloody bed. yes, bloody. 

today i decided we'd go to church. i hadn't been since the week before frederick's birth, and he hadn't been, well, at all of course. i planned to just go to sacrament meeting. i really really missed taking the sacrament, singing hymns, worshipping God. but i didn't know if we were ready for all the touching and holding of frederick and everything...so we were just going to go home after sacrament meeting. 

here's fred with grandma before church. he was dressed so cute. halloween socks!!!

so we get to church; we barely make it, and everyone is eyeing us, loving freddie. my dad held him to show him off a little as we all sang the opening hymn and took the sacrament. then fred decided he was hungry and let out a little shriek. obviously I'm new to the whole church plus baby thing, so i looked at him and then was like, i guess that's our cue to go out in the hall!!! time to try our hand at the land of the mother's lounge. wow, i'm really at that stage in my life!!! so I was sort of nervous and almost just nursed out in the foyer because i'd heard stories of how awkward the mother's lounge and conversation there can be. but once again, you can't believe everything you're told and not everyone has the same experience because i loved it!!!! there were two raelly nice women in there. it was almost like a support group: we talked about breast feeding and being a new mom and life and how to handle it all. the talks from church were heard over a speaker in there, so we also listened and discussed. one of the talks was about celebrating the small successes everyday amd not being too hard on yourself. it was really humbling AND uplifting.

I loved being at church so much that i decided to stay for the whole time. i love the gospel; it brings so much light and happiness into my life. for second hour, i went to my dad's class. he teaches the 17-18 year olds and we talked about change and decisions. he said that it wasn't too long ago that i was sitting right there in that same room (literally...it was the ward i grew up in), in their position, figuring out what i was going to do with myself. I used to say that i didn't care if I ever got married, and i certainly didn't really want children ever. but i changed. i grew and learned and changed and decided it was something i did want. and now i have darling amazing frederick. collin and i both have him. and in 15 or so years he will be in that same position, making choices and figuring out what he wants to do in life. so cool.

lastly was relief society, and such sisterhood. i love that feeling. i was thinking in there about now how much MORE things with the gospel click and matter and how much i want to be a better person because of freddie. i want to be a good mother to him. i want to be a better wife and friend, and family member and citizen. he puts everything into perspective and i've found that i pray more sincerely lately. 

cute/funny pictures my mom took of uncle joe and fred while i took a nice hour long nap.

 hahaha, i love his little hand!!!!

i made those cookies. they were a DELICIOUS sugar cookie recipe and were supposed to look like candy corns...meh??

COLLIN GETS HOME TOMORROW

DAVID GETS  HOME IN THREE WEEKS 

THE SMITHS GET GERE IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS 

AND THEN WE BLESS FREDDIE!!! 

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

ps. america's next top model is currently doing an ALL STAR CYCLE. it's incredible.

watch it.