August 24, 2012

I love How I Met Your Mother
I can't quite sleep
We have a super busy weekend ahead but don't mind because the past few have been relaxing.
I have a knot in my butt muscle currently. It's painful!!!
Our kitties sleep at the foot of our bed.
I just got them some new toys and they are acting like kittens again. I love them.
Frederick is the cutest little sack of peanuts ever. Only he's growing up. How will he be one year old already? I'm excited for everything. I'm excited for his life ahead and my part in it.
Collin is sleeping heavily. He works so hard. He spent all yesterday evening telling me he loves me and all sorts of wonderful things. He knows how much my whole existence has changed. He knows I am so happy and feel so blessed but that it can be lonely or hard at times. He validates me. He is my partner and equal.
I'm thinking through something not unlike things many people go through but it's new to me and its been emotionally up and down. I was so hurt and then angry and confused and then I gave up. Then it was pointed out to me that that might be a loss of faith. I don't want that. And tonight now I'm humbled and don't want to be judgmental anymore. I want to just love and be loved and accept and be accepted. But how? I look at a face and see so many years of hurt and I just want to make that face happy, confident again! The confidence that was taught to me!
Eyes getting heavy.

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