Tonight I went to a church event and Collin watched Frederick for me so I could go and totally listen and enjoy. He played with him, bathed him, fed him, did the bed time routine and is currently in Fred's room with him trying to get him to sleep. I, on the other hand, had a good time, but thought of both of them often. I thought of Freddie and missed him as I saw other women with their small babes. I wondered what they were doing, if they were alright, and longed to be with them. I was grateful for Collin's enthusiasm and ability for taking care of him.
I guess we both kind of switched. Sometimes in my mind I think Collin is so lucky; he gets to go to work, meet people, accomplish things, have adult conversations. But in reality, I'm sure it's really tough for him to be away from us. I'm sure he enjoys his freedom but that he would give it up in a second to play at the park or children's museum or read books with us. And I always love it when Colgtlin gets a taste of being a stay at home parent-the constant rewarding smiles, learning new words, dancing around like a little maniac, as well as some of the loneliness and frustrating times I experience. I guess this is life and love. It's not perfect, but it's true. We both love frederick with all our hearts and we are both different and bring different things to our relationship and family. Partners.