Anyway so I kept not knowing what to do...saying and thinking and FEELING this. So overwhelmed.
I have since general conference been praying aloud in front of my kids, more personal, heart and soul stuff, and trying to read a verse or so of scripture aloud w them and today I gave a visiting teaching lesson on patience (I need it.) so all these things came together and after a very overwhelming day and venting to my husband and then praying so hard all day for our friend, Evan, 16. He's fighting bone cancer through chemo and yesterday an operation that removed his femur and knee and replaced w a rod. Well and today he has been fighting a high fever and had to get a blood transfusion. So we have been praying like crazy. Tonight Collin came home from work early and we cancelled our plans and decided to do a little bit of family time healing at home. Everything got better.
And tonight as I laid in bed, holding, nursing, singing to my little ones, the inspiration came. There was one thing I'd been thinking of earlier today and that was that I need to watch better...smarter. I mean don't get me wrong, I watch my kids really well. I don't leave them or anything but I need to not even turn my back on them alone in some situations right now. This won't last long. I know it.
They will be grown up in no time and I'm just savoring laying between their two tiny, sleeping, purring, warm bodies. I'm so grateful. The other inspiration was LOVE. Teach about love. Sing about it, talk about it and what it means, ask about it. Read about it. Practice it.
Thats how this works for me I think... If I can stay patient and diligent, the spirit will guide and inspire me for good. I can do this. Now...it's only 8:10pm and the babes are asleep! Time to party, CS!! 😝👏😴