Life now

This is my life right now. And I’m just really grateful and happy. I get how quickly this girl is going to grow. I get that I need to cherish her and this time. I’ve seen it happen. I keep asking how I’m going to remember this. Forge it into my memory—her small perfect head, her smells, her noises, every thought and feeling...you forget. I’ve forgotten so much from the other kids. I get to vividly remember them, watching her stretch and breathe and nurse and fuss and try to poop. But I know that with time, it will be hard to remember almost anything from this time. I know now that I probably won’t even remember writing this post. So I’m trying to soak it all in. I’m staying in bed and reading and sleeping and nursing and changing diapers...not fun after having 3 kids potty trained and not being used to doing it all the time!!!! 

Also nursing has been challenging for us both. Pain, cracks and bleeding, frustration, gas because of gulping so much air, up all night, crying for 30+ minutes, not knowing what to do... But today has been a little easier and I think it’ll all be ok. There have been dark and lonely moments in the mid-night when my worries take over. But during the day when it’s crazy and loud (Fred hat and ella dance party and fashion show for us), or quiet (they are all at the library), or when we put on a movie and collin and I get to connect for a few moments together) I feel bright and happy and hopeful and grateful. Grateful she’s mine. (I HAVE THREE DAUGHTERS!!!!! AND ONE SON!!!!! What?!?? 😂🥰😄🥰😂😄). 

Today Hattie said that Annette is the queen. And I thought about how they all three are such queens. Me too. And Fred and collin are total bosses too. Hahahahaha. A house of bosses and royalty we all think. Oh boy. The drama that will ensue!!!!! Hahaha. I love my life. I love my husband. Even though  we are CONSTANTLY butting heads and arguing for 10 years!!! We are also filled with a passion for each other that is bigger than the universe. When we click, we click. He has been taking care of everything with the house and kids. EVERYTHING. And has been feeding me delicious soft, nutritious, warm soups, stews, bowls. Taking care of me. And we get frustrated and then try to work through it over a cup of tea every night. Or just watch SYTYCD. 💖 

Alright. Nap time. 

And some pictures including Annie’s first car ride!! To the pediatrician! All went well and the dr called her perfect. 

Also....that dance party fashion show....

Big latch on 2016!

This weekend is the annual big latch on and we found an awesome group to join today in Lehi. My big kids had a great time playing with all the other big kids, too! I love this awesome breastfeeding community! 

Some baby mama yoga 

Hattie stayed close. She and Freddie have grown so fast. 

Lindsey of Lactation Link. 

We both had our baby girls (and third children and first home births) on May 14th!

I won the drawing yahoo!!

Freddie at 11 months at our First Big Latch On! 2012. 

Beautiful baby Harriet at 8 months. 

The big latch on last year in Flagstaff

World BF week 2016!!

That moment there's a super strong let down you're like, "what the heck mom?!"

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!!!

cool stuff; sunny stuff; sleepy stuff

Trip to JC Pennys to buy Uncle Joe school clothes. DID I MENTION THAT MY BABY BROTHER STARTED HIGH SCHOOL TODAY???!!!??? I mean, you guys, I was 14 when he was born and Freddie is almost 2 and I remember Joe as a baby. I MEAN he was right here, in my arms, just yesterday. It has gone by so quickly. What does that mean about Fred? He'll be in College, rooming with Ollie, in no time. (which will actually be awesome.) Joe is such a great Uncle. If you haven't noticed, Freddie has a slew of Uncles, and yes, they are all incredible. (Not to mention 2 amazing Aunts whom I would trust with Fred's life.)

World breastfeeding week 2013

I looked through lots of old blog posts this morning looking for some breastfeeding photos in the early days of Fred. Man, how was he ever so little? And so different looking? How did it happen so quickly? He will be 2 in September! 

So anyway, it's world breastfeeding week and month and we are celebrating because well, duh, breastfeeding means a lot to us. Fred and I have been bf for 22 months. It's pretty much coming to a close Any time now. It all started when I got pregnant again and suddenly things became sore, painful, and my milk slowly completely dried up and turned to colostrum. We night weaned, and Fred seemed fine w it. Now he nurses first thing in the morning until I'm awake enough to get up and make breakfast.  I ask if he wants breakfast and he says, "yeah!" And then he will nurse a few minutes before his midday nap unless he falls asleep in the carseat or stroller while we are out. Besides that he doesn't really ask and I don't offer. And if he does ask, he's easily distracted. It is a good time for both of us, and I'm glad for that. Some days I say that I'm so done! And some days I never want it to end. But I guess that's life, huh. I'm so happy ill get to start all over with babe 2 so soon. With lots and lots of milk! (It hard being all dried up.)

Well here are JUST A FEW photos of Fredalicious bfeeding over the past 22 months. Love that boy. Love him. Oh and thank you to the many many who encouraged me even before Fred was born, who supported me from the start and who continue to do so. Especially Collin and my mom and mother in law. 

Fred at 1 day•••

Milk Drunk!!!

He used to fall asleep like this after eating every time. Awww, remember how newborns sleep all the time? Check out my old phone from 2011 behind Fred.

My bug bug!!!

Sooooo handsome. Dinner date oct 2012. 

Camping and nursing at 3 months old. That was a good time, Collin. It was such a dirty trip...I was thrown up on in the night so the whole next day I was nasty. Then we got home and all took showers and got squeaky clean and brought our bed out in the living room for more camping and movies. That was the best. 

Ever nursing, day and night. 

Those dreamy blue eyes. 

The big latch on, one year ago. Aug 2012. 

Breastfeeding on the bus during world breastfeeding week 2012. Such a little boy. 

These are moments of calm in between the crazy. ;)

Mommy and me yoga early 2013. 

And this was yesterday!! Laughing fit!!

He put these on and made this face!!!!! Hahaha!! "Rawr I a monster!!" -Fred 

Fred and babe2 makin waffles w mom. 

Finally passed out today late in the afternoon. 

He's talking soooo much. He repeats everything I say. He counts w me to seven. He sings his abcs like this, "ab, ab, abcs, now I know my abcs." Hehe!! He's growing up so fast and part of me wants it to stop and part of me can't wait till the next stage. 

Well happy world breastfeeding week and happy babies and happy Friday.