Smiths become 4 (6 with kitties!!)

Well as you know, blog of mine, my estimated due date with this second pregnancy was December the 5th, and as you further know, estimated due dates are nuts and I don't care for them much at all! So Thursday December 19th marked 42 weeks gestation for us and it meant time to get to the hospital and get this baby born. I really didn't want to do that. I feel babies will come when they are ready and we had gotten 2 ultrasounds that measured the fluid levels, placenta quality, babe movement, heartbeat, etc and we got perfect scores both times. But the problem for the wonderful women at Blossom birth center was that starting at 39 weeks my blood pressure had been slightly high and had been climbing little by little. They had done preeclampsia tests, which came back negative and I felt like a million bucks, so I thought it was all kind of dramatic. They asked I be on bed rest till the babe was born. But by Wednesday the 18th, they asked us to eat a good dinner and go in to try some natural induction methods and have a baby.

Well that all got put on hold when I got there and my blood pressure was 160. I rested, they took it again; 130. But when if got up and did anything at all it would raise again. Meanwhile I was dialated to about a 6, super soft cervix, but the surges were just tightenings, hardly noticeable. I had not experienced anything with much feeling in general in the past 2 weeks so hopes of giving birth that night were low for me. Diane came in and gave me a pelvic massage, loosening up lots of muscles and tight spots. Finally, I took a bath to relax and they had me bear down a little to see if it would progress anything at all...but they took my BP and it was 180. 

"Time to go to the hospital." 

Job 2

Job was a good man and had great integrity. Satan afflicted him with boils all over his body and he still remained faithful. His wife told him to curse God and be put out of his misery but he would not and ensured to the end. Then his friends came and comforted and mourned with him. This was mercy from God. 

Right now I am going through something hard...I have been waiting for almost 2 weeks for my baby to come. Everyday comes and goes with little or no progress. My faith has gone up and down, but God has never left me. He is there to comfort me whenever I turn to him in prayer. (Even after I have insane emotional breakdowns and say I'm giving up.) He sends my husband, parents, and friends, as angels, to mourn with me and comfort me. There are so many who call or text every day, wondering how I'm doing and if the baby is coming. Part of me has a hard time with the pressure it creates, but really I am so blessed to have so many who care and are thinking of me. :) I am continuously learning, repenting, growing, messing up, getting comfort and answers and everything all over again in this pregnancy. This baby has much to teach and add to our family. This is a very special little one.

I need to endure and have integrity. I need to have faith and patience. This will pass (it has to by Thursday!!) and we will have our new child and everything will be different and I'll have many many more lessons to learn. I can do it with God's help, with Collin, the Savior's atonement and the Holy Ghost. 

Santa Claus is coming coming

We've been asking Freddie for months, "Freddie, is mommy going to have a baby??" He finally got wise and today answered, "nope." 

Haha! I promise Fred! He or she is coming soon! 

We are all doing well. If you wonder how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking, read this article:

http://www.mothering.com/community/a/the-last-days-of-pregnancy-a-place-of-in-between

And here are some photos of my love a doves. 

Dates schmates!!

It's kind of weird going "over" the estimated due date. I've gotten a little anxious at times. But then I remember how strongly I believe it is just an estimation...and that it's normal for babies to come two weeks before that date to two weeks after. 

And thank goodness my only side effect is being tired...I feel great and I'm not swollen and I get to sleep tons during the day and take at least one bath a day thanks to my mom, friends and especially my husband taking such good care of Frederick and me. (Oh yeah...and thanks to Sesame Street too, ha!)

Collin got me a push gift of gorgeous alphabet notecards in gray and orange (colors I've been loving this time around for nursery, clothes, blankets, etc). His card mentioned that each day brings us closer to our new baby and growing family. I love that perspective!!! Each day is not taking us further from the due date and being "overdue," but each day brings us closer to the date my babe is ready to be born and our exciting new life together!!! Thank you Collin!!!! for not only supporting me, but for feeling strongly about these things and keeping me calm, helping me reframe any situation into a positive one, and for being on my side!

We are chill. This babe will come when he or she intends, it will be a beautiful, happy day, and you all will hear about it. Oh yes, you will. ;)

If you're interested, awesome facts on how labor gets started:

Birthing playlist

Here are links to each song on my birthing playlist. I listen to them and all anxieties float away and I'm left happy, comforted, confident.

You are My Sister, Antony and the Johnsons

Spiralling, Antony and the Johnsons

Beautiful Things Can Come from the Dark, Azure Ray

In My Life, The Beatles

Puet-etre que je t'aime, Francoise Hardy

I Can't Help Falling in Love with You, Elvis Presley

Birthing affirmations, Marie Mongan

^^buddies already 

^^^Above was this morning, at Collin's work. They had a sweet little Happy Baby Smith party and breakfast and invited Frederick and me!! It was so nice to meet Collin's new co workers and see the office. It's so beautifully decorated for Christmas, which warmed my heart even more. 

Declaration and thanksgiving

We are beloved spirit daughters of God, and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction. As a worldwide sisterhood, we are united in our devotion to Jesus Christ, our Savior and Exemplar. We are women of faith, virtue, vision, and charity who:

Increase our testimonies of Jesus Christ through prayer and scripture study.

Seek spiritual strength by following the promptings of the Holy Ghost.

Dedicate ourselves to strengthening marriages, families, and homes.

Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood.

Delight in service and good works.

Love life and learning.

Stand for truth and righteousness.

Sustain the priesthood as the authority of God on earth.

Rejoice in the blessings of the temple, understand our divine destiny, and strive for exaltation.

(I memorized this as one of my personal progress value experiences and I think it's awesome.)

My blessings:

Maternity Photos November 2013

One of my dearest friends, Jayna, took pictures of our family and my 8 month belly earlier this month. We love them very very much!! And we love her. Here are our favorites...      

Her website is JaynaHedges.com

This is no joke...

Fred said, "I wan milkaay!"

And I asked what it tastes like. 

And he said, "chicken."

Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

Took some pictures after church! Grey family! Awesome faces. Sweet wood in the back. 

A&tJ

These little nervous feelings about giving birth started creeping in but today I'm packing and listening to my birthing playlist and I'm feeling so happy weepy sentimental good. Fred is napping and I'm cuddled in my bed dreaming of my second child. Antony and the Johnsons is my favorite for birth (and in general). Last time I listened to Spiraling over and over and this time I love You are my Sister. I am picturing Frederick and the baby, together; so magical. (I mean I'm worried about him being rough and going "boomy" right on the babes head too), but I know they will love each other.

As I listen to Hypnobirthing affirmations my body gets so relaxed and gushy and comfortable. I will be confident, safe, secure. I will open and birth smoothly and easily. I will look to Collin. I trust him. I've been in love with him for over 6 years, you know. 

These are more good things:

38 weeks this week

Had a great prenatal appointment today. 

The baby is very low, everything is measuring exactly on and my midwife said that he or she could come any day!! (But to still assume it'll be later rather than sooner!)

We need to pack and get everything ready. This is getting very very real.

I'm so happy!!

Wrapped in red

Graphic!

Broby loves baby too!

Soon stuff

Ankles swelling, insane acid reflux, have to pee every time I stand...not complaining, just saying ;)

Babes coming soon. 

Plans!

Perineal toning/massage- when perineal rim is adequately softened and toned w massage, becomes numb w pressure of baby's head. As baby naturally is expelled, perineum unfolds and baby passes easily down and out.

When pre-Surges come: slow breathing And listen to birth affirmations. Get in tub.

When Waters release: listen to birth affirmations, eat, breathe, yoga, Collin-script, practice positions, shower

Baby expulsion stage: lay or squat in tub, Collin-touch, script, breathe, affirmations

Ideal birth experience:

Update!!

Thursday I'm 36 weeks and I've been feeling all the normal cramping, practice surges, total exhaustion that comes with this point in pregnancy.

I feel good. I had an appointment today and it was very positive. 

I've been having little headaches; I need to drink more water. I've been having crazy vivid nightmarish dreams every night; I need to write down 5 positive affirmations for each of the dreams. 

In my last two dreams, the babe was a girl. Either way, he/she moves like crazy, non-stop!!

The big one too:::Nichelle described him perfectly today: a brilliant energizer bunny!! I love him. So so much. 

In every prayer he says "thank you for the fair," about 5 times and today he added, "thank you for the bus." He is really freaking sweet with my belly. He rubs gently in a circle while he's nursing. 

Today when we heard the heartbeat, Fred lit up!!! He definitely knows what's going on. He knows there is a baby in my belly and that it's going to come out and be in our family. Now, I doubt he can comprehend having a sibling, but then again, I can't comprehend having another child. Today we watched births of kitties, a cow, and 2 humans. Fred thought they were very interesting. 

Big brother

Fred asks multiple times a day to see the baby and I have to pull up my shirt and everything so he can rub, hug, talk to, listen to my tummy, play w my belly button etc. it just makes me want to burst open w love and excitement. We talk about when the baby comes and what it might be like. 

The last week has been hard because I've decided to be strict on nursing just once a day--for the mid-day nap. I love nursing, so so much, but now it's painful and uncomfortable and I don't want to do it. So we had our first ever family meeting and all agreed that it would be just the once a day.

Although Fred made his verbal agreement, there have been a lot of tears, talking, reminding, tantrums, frustrations, etc. 

Tonight while Fred was falling asleep we had the sweetest time together that made up for the hard times in the past few days. He loves me. He loves the baby. We just sat together and he grew tired, and had his arm across my belly. I just stared at him and thought about him as a big brother and didn't want it to go so fast. He said, "milky is sleeping," as if he was saying he would love to have some, but knows it's not possible right now. I said, "yes, and also remember we agreed to just have it once a day, "to which he answered, "once a day." This is so emotional to me. 

Part of me realizes that in the future I will look back on this time and ache to be able to nurse my little boy again...and here I am, ending it. But what makes it ok in my brain and heart is that I know he's growing up and learning to deal with his emotions in other ways and that's important. 

Then just now talking to Collin about it all, verbalizing it all, and again typing it, thinking about it, my eyes well up with tears. He really is growing up and there's nothing I can do about it. This change is huge. And more giant changes I can't even comprehend are coming. 

I'm a giant knotted up ball of emotional hormones right now!!!

Okay so now a bunch of photos of all my darlings:

30 weeks

Here is me at 30 weeks pregnant yesterday. I feel pretty much awesome. (thanks E.H.!) I can't believe its going so fast, just like Fred growing up. And getting older. There are so many incredible things coming up soon. Freddie and I were taking about them at the park today. First of all, it's been such nice weather that we stayed at the park for like two hours today instead of 30 minutes. Also there's general conference, Halloween, pumpkin patches, the state fair, Thanksgiving, having the baby!!!, Christmas, new years 2014!??!, Lulu and pops coming to visit!! We are going to make a super awesome timeline with these and more exiting things to look forward to.
My brother, AJ, was visiting for the past couple weeks and on his last night here, we all went to the movie Austenland. It was so silly and funny; we had a great time. Fred was asleep when we went and we were hoping he would just stay asleep like the good old days, but he woke up at the first preview and was awake and alert and interested for the entire movie. Oh boy.
And check out this guy who cut Freds hair the other day. He was like...ok I don't get along with kids. Haha. We were like ummmm....ok. But it all worked out. This kids has had about 5 hair cuts in the last year; his hair grows so fast.
Lastly, I like to take baths and practice hypnobirthing while Freddie naps and my Kitties love to keep me company. Life is good.

Tonight: last, first.

Tonight Frederick got so hyper before bedtime while riding around on his dads back, making his shape people dance, giving his dad rides on HIS back, and marching around singing "Choo choo choo." We were laughing so hard! He has such a great funny personality. The baby in my belly was kicking so hard! He or she wanted too get out and play with us! Then we calmed down by singing a few more songs and reading a couple books. He picked two since he will be two years old tomorrow. I know, it's hard to believe that he has been in our lives for two years, that 2 years ago, he wiggled his way into the world and here he is, jumping, running, talking, laughing, reciting, doing things all by himself, and every once in a while still showing he needs me. Collin read to him and I got all sentimental about his last night as a one year old.
Happy birthday my Frederick Ian. I love you. I love your dad! I am so excited to continue experiencing life with you. I can't wait to see you become a big brother. I'll need you're help!
Love, mama.

Bugs and babies

Worst thing in my life. It's the time of year for bugs. I can't kill em or squish them or anything and Collin wasn't home so I drowned it with scalding hot water till its body ripped in half. Poor jerk. These two were fascinated. Monte just played then left. Great job, hunter. 

Children's museum with three of my favorite people. Look how big Freddie is!

Bus ride to our appointment at blossom yesterday. It was a strange hot one. We hasn't taken the train or bus in a while and Fred loved it. It's always fun on the way there but horrible, miserable, hot forever on the way back. 

"Rock a bye baby on the tree tops." So sweet, big brother Fred, till the bough breaks and he throws the baby overhand back into the cradle. 

The appointment was good. I took my sugar test, I'm measuring right on (so there all you idiots who keep telling me, WOW, you're huge!!!), I have to practice having Fred climb up to me instead of me picking him up from now on, and we discussed Fred coming to the birth. Collin and I want him there but we will be flexible, like if its in the middle of the night and he's asleep, or if anything else happens and it's not comfortable to have him in there. But I'm a very calm and quiet labor & birther and he's a pretty even tempered guy. Plus I know everything will be even more smooth this time. It would ve a great experience to have him a part of this miracle. We will go with the flow and I think it will all work out great. We have been watching animal and human births and talking lots to prepare for this great event and all the big changes to follow. 

Hey didi dot. 

cool stuff; sunny stuff; sleepy stuff

Trip to JC Pennys to buy Uncle Joe school clothes. DID I MENTION THAT MY BABY BROTHER STARTED HIGH SCHOOL TODAY???!!!??? I mean, you guys, I was 14 when he was born and Freddie is almost 2 and I remember Joe as a baby. I MEAN he was right here, in my arms, just yesterday. It has gone by so quickly. What does that mean about Fred? He'll be in College, rooming with Ollie, in no time. (which will actually be awesome.) Joe is such a great Uncle. If you haven't noticed, Freddie has a slew of Uncles, and yes, they are all incredible. (Not to mention 2 amazing Aunts whom I would trust with Fred's life.)

World breastfeeding week 2013

I looked through lots of old blog posts this morning looking for some breastfeeding photos in the early days of Fred. Man, how was he ever so little? And so different looking? How did it happen so quickly? He will be 2 in September! 

So anyway, it's world breastfeeding week and month and we are celebrating because well, duh, breastfeeding means a lot to us. Fred and I have been bf for 22 months. It's pretty much coming to a close Any time now. It all started when I got pregnant again and suddenly things became sore, painful, and my milk slowly completely dried up and turned to colostrum. We night weaned, and Fred seemed fine w it. Now he nurses first thing in the morning until I'm awake enough to get up and make breakfast.  I ask if he wants breakfast and he says, "yeah!" And then he will nurse a few minutes before his midday nap unless he falls asleep in the carseat or stroller while we are out. Besides that he doesn't really ask and I don't offer. And if he does ask, he's easily distracted. It is a good time for both of us, and I'm glad for that. Some days I say that I'm so done! And some days I never want it to end. But I guess that's life, huh. I'm so happy ill get to start all over with babe 2 so soon. With lots and lots of milk! (It hard being all dried up.)

Well here are JUST A FEW photos of Fredalicious bfeeding over the past 22 months. Love that boy. Love him. Oh and thank you to the many many who encouraged me even before Fred was born, who supported me from the start and who continue to do so. Especially Collin and my mom and mother in law. 

Fred at 1 day•••

Milk Drunk!!!

He used to fall asleep like this after eating every time. Awww, remember how newborns sleep all the time? Check out my old phone from 2011 behind Fred.

My bug bug!!!

Sooooo handsome. Dinner date oct 2012. 

Camping and nursing at 3 months old. That was a good time, Collin. It was such a dirty trip...I was thrown up on in the night so the whole next day I was nasty. Then we got home and all took showers and got squeaky clean and brought our bed out in the living room for more camping and movies. That was the best. 

Ever nursing, day and night. 

Those dreamy blue eyes. 

The big latch on, one year ago. Aug 2012. 

Breastfeeding on the bus during world breastfeeding week 2012. Such a little boy. 

These are moments of calm in between the crazy. ;)

Mommy and me yoga early 2013. 

And this was yesterday!! Laughing fit!!

He put these on and made this face!!!!! Hahaha!! "Rawr I a monster!!" -Fred 

Fred and babe2 makin waffles w mom. 

Finally passed out today late in the afternoon. 

He's talking soooo much. He repeats everything I say. He counts w me to seven. He sings his abcs like this, "ab, ab, abcs, now I know my abcs." Hehe!! He's growing up so fast and part of me wants it to stop and part of me can't wait till the next stage. 

Well happy world breastfeeding week and happy babies and happy Friday.