Waiting for you. Spiraling. Constant.

Frederick, tonight you were a little upset when we put you in your car seat (probably due to being worn out from the huge growth spurt you are going through) but you calmed down immediately when I put on the song Spiraling by Antony and the Johnsons. It was remarkable and beautiful to me but made sense because you see, that was the song you were born to. I had made a playlist to labor to with many songs that calmed, excited, or inspired me. That one was my favorite and one of the few requests I had during your birth (or few times I even spoke) --to ask your daddy to turn it to Spiraling. The words, gentle, romantic, and mysterious, motivated me each moment to get closer to having you in my arms. As I listened to it again the tonight and felt all those memories surface inside of me it was a sweet reminder that we were partners that night. You were working every bit as hard as I was. And these days we are still partners. Even though it seems sometimes like im the one doing all the work--cleaning up bodily functions, unable to do things for myself because I am holding and feeding you all day every day and I get lonely or bored. But I know you are doing your best to grow and learn and become all that your Heavenly Father wants you to be. And he is there for me too. Anyway, I love you my darling.

 i know, i know..askin for it...

AIRPLANE!