night

Man! it feels great to be young and alive and in love! The other night we had another real date. My mom came and watched Frederick and CS and I went and listened to one of my favorite bands, Mount Eerie at Crescent Ballroom. I really like that venue. It's slightly bigger than a lot of smaller clubs but still intimate. Good lighting. Good sound.

Anyway the music was really really good as his always is. I really enjoyed the bands that opened up for him too. The first guy, Ever Ending Kicks, was super pretty.



The next band, Bouquet, was SO GREAT. I love the vocals! her voice was insanely beautiful! and the lyrics so good. The music was so dance-y and gorgeous and haunting. Here's a link to their website and a few songs. When I talked to them afterward, they were such sweethearts and allowed me to gush a little. What a dweeb, I know.

Then Phil Elvrum. It was so beautiful and wonderful. I was so happy and never wanted it to end. These people were totally going crazy after the show and kissing his butt telling him thank you soooooo much for coming, that they lost their brains when they found out he was coming and that they love him soooooo much. It was making him pretty uncomfortable. Hehe. I bought something and just smiled and said thank you; it was beautiful. He smiled, thanked me. It was just great. A great night. And lots of romance with CS.

We got home to find everyone sleeping. Thanks mama, for baby sitting our little rascal. We missed him like crazy.

finished the night snuggled up with Smith, mini hot chocolate and Gone Girl.

1:46

Camping out!
I'm up late! I'm currently reading 3, no 4 books: The Happiness Project, Mindy Kaling's book, Gone Girl (with CS), and Doctrine and Covenants.
Good stuff. Feels good to read again. I've been told I need to get Parenting with Love and Logic. Anyone read it?
Collin and Fred are sick. I've not yet been infected.
I keep hearing noises. My imagination is getting the better of me.
Gone Girl is so psychological and it freaks me out. Dot is on edge. She keeps getting startled at every littler thing.
Tonight I didn't feel like making dinner and baked chocolate chip cookies instead. Now I'm all shaky and sicky.
I need some veggies.
Halloween is upon us. And Fred is grown up. He got so scared going through the scary mask section today. (I laughed a little, poor sweet darling.) how does he know to be scared? I've never taught him that. In fact I started saying sweet things about the scary black cat and petting and kissing him. Fred wouldn't have any of it. None. He knew it was scary and bad. Sheesh.

Today Fredrick was having lots of growing pains and Collin wasn't home yet from his meeting so I let him stay up late. We were watching school house rock (election edition) and eating cheese (to give the boob a rest) and then all of a sudden..cough...BARF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All over. So then I just sat there for a few. Fred was buckled onto me in his ergo so that was covered too. Then I was cleaning it up, putting him into the tub, scrubbing him with a washcloth, and I thought, "I'm like a real mom--like on tv." Oh well. Then later when I actually did put him to bed I loved the silence-the quiet of him and me and his eyelids getting heavy, and his needing me so much. That good stuff right there. Well goodnight!

And Happy birthday today to the beauuuitiful Morgan Skeen. She's the sweetest, sugariest, loveliest lady I know. I love her!

Applebees Nurse-in 2012

Look at me....quite the little activist, huh.
I don't mean to be. I don't want to alienate anyone from me.
I'm passionate about certain things, and enjoy connecting with others also passionate about them. But I don't think my way is the only way or even the best way. It's just the best way for Fred and Collin and me.

So here we are at the Applebees Nurse-in on Saturday September 29th. (It was NOT a protest against Applebees of any kind, but a peaceful rally, to unite nursing mothers and bring awareness that nursing in public is okay!!!)

Basically, earlier in September, a woman at an Applebees in Georgia was nursing her child, and was asked by the manager to go to the bathroom to do so, or to leave. There is a law in GA, (the same as there is in AZ), that women are allowed to breastfeed in any place where they are lawfully able to be. She patiently told this manager her rights and then the manager called the cops and humiliated her and her family. Of course, the cops sided with the nursing mother, but it was a very unfortunate situation that could have been avoided.

I don't mind boobs. I truly believe that they are made to nurse. I know my husband loves them too, for other reasons, but he also respects that they have a very important function: sustaining the life of our child. Unfortunately our world has sexualized breasts to the point of extreme discomfort for a lot of people when it comes to nursing.

Think about it....when a woman is wearing something low cut, or tight, or revealing or sheer, it's considered HOT. But a woman is feeding her child, a truly beautiful gift from God, and heaven forbid a little skin shows, and people freak out with disgust. When a mom is just doing her best to take care of her baby. Well I support mothers and families! Women are expected to go behind closed doors and alienate themselves (when they are at a potentially lonely and challenging time in their lives...hormones and hanging with a babe all day make a gal starved for adult interaction! I swear!) or to put a blanket over their baby's head. Some people can do that just fine and I think that's great and fully support it, but I tried. I promise. Fred HATED it. We were both trying to figure out nursing in the first few months and I was timid and self-conscious as it were. I wanted to be with everyone when we had dinner company or hung out with friends (you know how social Collin and I are!) and I'd finally get Fred latched on, and then cover him up with a blanket and he'd get so upset, unlatch, milk would be SPRAYING everywhere, mortifying me and everyone else, and I'd end up flashing everyone anyway. So I finally said, Enough! I'm just going to nurse! If people don't like it they don't have to look or like me. And I'm pretty discrete anyway....(I think so...haha I could be totally wrong though!!)

I get not wanting to see other people's breasts when it is in a sexual context...most movies and TV, but when nursing? It's feeding a child...It's good for him and for me. It makes me happy and him happy. The World Health Organization recommends nursing to 2 years (which is my goal, by the way; I recently decided that I plan to wean at 2 years because that's what I feel good about. Collin feels good about it. Fred?? Well I think he'd nurse till forever if he could! I respect everyone's decisions on length of nursing with what works for them and their families! Love love love la-la-love, la-la-love makes the world go round!

Anyway...I could go on all day. I love mothers. I love them whether they nurse or formula feed. I love them because I know that I'm just trying to do my best, and they are too and I respect that so much.
Here are some photos from our fun day of Nursing-in. The managers at the Applebees we went to were super nice. All the people walking in and out of the restaurant were kind and respectful, too. We sat outside the place for a few hours and then afterward all went in and got food.

 (and she really is so supportive. I'm blessed with insanely supportive family (immediate and in-laws alike). I'm so so blessed.)

 Emily with Charlie, my mom with Fred. (Charlie and Fred like each other)

 super fun rally friends!

 I love my husband!

(some other signs we had were "if nursing in public bothers you, you can go eat in the bathroom " or "...then you can put a blanket over your head." hehe.)

My babe is not really a babe anymore

 

 

Us with Danielle, the birthing assistant at Fred's birth! She's training to be a midwife at Midwives Rising. We were there to watch the film, Freedom for Birth. It was very very good. It was a huge shock to me that so many aren't able to give birth the way they want to, the way they feel safe--even in this country! In Europe! I feel so incredibly blessed to have had the experience I did, the way I did. Birth was not uncomfortable or horrible, or terrifying. It was peaceful, beautiful, purposeful, empowering. I did it. I did it. I had the support of my doctor, midwife, birth assistant, my mom, and most importantly my husband (along with many many other family and friends). I had God with me too, and I did it. It's so amazing to feel this way! I want every birthing woman to experience the satisfaction I did, by giving birth in the way that she feels safest, whether it be in the hospital, in a birthing center or at home.

 

 

 

 

Best thing ever....

We've been making delicious stuff from Adventures in Cooking, Cooking Light Magazine, and Mrs Harding Cooks and we've been getting ready for our favorite month (besides March), OCTOBER!!! Halloween! YESSSS. 

 

more birthday

We are big believers in celebrating for the days before and after bdays in our family. Fred's first was a good one.

Obsessed with Bear


Loved his card from Grandma Smith!
 

Today was a very hard day.
CS gone till 9pm.
I was doing good cleaning the whole house and got Fred outside to
play a couple times but he wouldn't nap longer than 30 mins no matter what i tried. he got progressively more tired, cranky, wired.
Meltdown material.
Plus a couple of hard things going on.
Can get ya feelin super down and worthless, you know?

Tomorrow is another day. And he just fell asleep.

Sigh, time to go tackle a pile of dishes the size of the Czech republic.

Nation-wide nurse-in at your local Applebee's

Earlier this month a breastfeeding mother in Georgia was asked by a manager to leave Applebees. When she stated her rights and didn't move the police were called!

This Saturday please go to your local Applebees anytime between 1-3pm and nurse or just let them know you support the rights of breastfeeding mothers.
Here is the main event page on Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/events/424663000914176?ref=bookmark&__user=27708646#!/events/424663000914176?ref=bookmark&__user=27708646

Here is an article about what happened. http://doublethink.us.com/paala/2012/09/18/breastfeeding-offender-applebees/

I've nursed in bathrooms. It's hot, often dirty, there's no where to sit, you're usually in the way of people trying to pee or wash their hands, it's hard. But i would try it because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. then I said, screw it! I want to nurse in comfort! I'm not covering up (just to frustrate freddie, make him unlatch, spray milk everywhere and discourage me--I mean doesn't everyone love having a blanket over their heads while trying to learn how to eat after just being born??) I'm not going in the other room, just to feel even more isolated and lonely than I already was feeling postpartum. (I support people covering up or going in another room to nurse. These are just my experiences and this is my blog!!!! Everyone should nurse how and where they want! But they should have that right!)

For heavens sake! Breasts are MADE to feed babies! That is their purpose! Why is it so offensive and uncomfortable for people? A woman dresses up in a slightly revealing cocktail dress and shes sexy and classy. Another woman feeds her child-in public-in the most pure, innocent, beautifully bonding way God intended for her to and some consider her gross. I don't get it. Our world is backward.

Anyway---I'll be at Applebee's this Saturday, nursing Frederick!

up in the pines

the air was cool and smelled deliciously. the trees were tall. frederick was happy (wouldn't you be if you got to run around in the woods, find pine cones and rocks and flowers and eat lots of dirt?) I enjoyed my time getting to know the young women and being in nature. of course, I wished cs could have been with us; i never like doing things without him, but it was a quick trip, and a good one. 

Ashley, the dog

we got the americana room. this bed was divinely comfortable.

 






serious. silly!

thanks, buddy!









my little man



that night we talked about things we struggle with such as our perceptions of ourselves. these thoughts and feelings don't stop when you become an adult. we all wrote down things we want to do better with and crumpled it up. the next day we buried our "weapons of war." It was all anonymous, but I'll tell you mine: I want to pray everyday, morning and night, and I want to stop feeling negatively about my body and clothes postpartum. two of a few goals I've set for myself recently. I think I can do it. we talked about HOW we will do it. when I am getting dressed or look in the mirror, when I'm about to think something negative, I just don't. I just get dressed and go and don't worry or think about it. I've done it for a few days now, and it's working! though I've been working hard at exercising and eating healthily, I can't change the fact that after having a baby, my hips are just wider. my tummy has stretches. my breasts are huge and full of milk! hehe. I'm instead grateful I was blessed with these things. they gave me.........well just look at this little boy.
 
we got to shoot these cool blue-lighted airplane thingies. mine didn't work so fred just held it. it was pretty though!

Hike the next morning: when you think you can't go on, know you can always do more!





they made it to the top!

 
see ya next time, Ashley!