More summer

It's gotten to the point where we can't really go outside anymore besides swimming. Yesterday was 118 and some meters read 121. Photos are from the last couple of weeks.

A happy smith family day!!!

I have a new beautiful blonde nephew!!! Weston Sterling Smith!! Congratulations to my dear dear sister in law, Ashley and her husband, Ian, and first three children, Lauren, Kate and Lincoln. 4 children!! Can you believe it?? They are seriously awesome parents-loving, fun, and in control. I look up them and value their opinions very much. 

Ashley is the type of person who makes a goal and then makes it happen. I want to be more like her. She knows her body and herself and what's she's capable of.

Congrats to you all!! I love you!!

And a very very HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my other sister in law, Kendra!!!!!! It's so special that she shares a bday w our sweet new nephew. Happy happy happy day!!

3 hour naps

They are great. Usually I try to sleep for 20-30 minutes and then get stuff done like cleaning or something but this time I just relaxed and watched the Bachelorette and SYTYCD. 

FOOD Huggers

These seem so awesome!!! I'm constantly putting half-used fruits and veggies into a plastic bag only to find them slimy and mushy just days later. I want to order some...Collin????

The impossible

If you're 4 months pregnant and very emotional you probably shouldn't watch the movie, The Impossible. Cause it's going to be 1:38am and your husband will be asleep next to you, and your son will be totally out in the next room and you'll be wide awake, reliving every horrible moment. 

Yes, pregnancy is hard. I forgot how hard! Or maybe this one is just a little more challenging having another child. But reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and all the positive (though many challenging) birth stories and thinking about my own birth with Freddie, and thinking about how "wow, I'm pregnant now!" And thinking of possible future pregnancies and births...just them alone without all the other hard stuff that comes w them...I love pregnancy and love birth! Call me crazy, but i's a miracle. It's amazing. I feel very blessed. I don't want to complain. At yoga today I learned modifications to help me be more gentle on my ever-changing body (I'm in a regular class-not prenatal so I can't do everything they do anymore.) And during one part we had to look up at our cupped arm over our heads and we were told that whatever thoughts we were thinking are reflected back to us so to make sure we are thinking positively and kindly. I usually do think negative things about myself; it sucks. but I was feeling so good that all of a sudden I found myself thinking all these awesome things. It was very empowering and gave me confidence and peace. I'm awesome. I feel good about my body. I make it to the gym 3-4 rimes a week. I love the little bean growing in there. My husband is awesome and funny and loves me so much!! My son is adorable. He tries my patience 100 times a day these days, but he is soooo funny and cute and he's teaching me to teach him and so much more. I love cats! And I have two of the cutest, sweetest, cuddliest, and most independent ever. 

Today I'm 16 weeks and ill have more patience, more fun, more gratitude as I wait and prepare for December. 

Father's Day 2013

Happy Father's Day to my best friend and a great dad...the greatest there could ever be for frederick. I don't think I could do this without him. I certainly don't want to. Love you, Collin.

nursing, sleeping, night weaning!

For Fred's whole life he's pretty much woken up every 2 hours to nurse, which I NEVER minded before because we were co-sleeping (till he was a year, then he'd go to sleep in his room and sleep walk into ours) and he would nurse in his and MY sleep. I hardly noticed at all and never felt slept deprived...but then I got pregnant and my milk vanished and the nursing hurt like crap and rather than gulping it down for about 5 minutes he just sucked and sucked for an hour or MORE!!!!! ahhhh.

So suddenly it wasn't fun anymore. Suddenly we had to make changes. Luckily, because my milk was decreasing by the moment, I've never gone through painful engorgement even though this has happened pretty rapidly. A friend had sent me this article, and I really like how gentle it was when it came to co sleeping and night weaning and how seriously it took the emotional attachment of a long time nursing relationship. But I also liked how sympathetic he was to needing sleep!!

Collin and I read it over apart and then together. We made a game plan, and we started. I honestly never saw it working. I couldn't see Frederick, who pretty much loves to nurse more than anything in the world, going 7+ hours straight without nursing. But, he did. Since we started he has not nursed from 11pm-6am.  We thought it would be difficult because he has a floor bed and can come into our room freely, and I also thought he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep without it but each time he came in, one of us picked him up, cuddled him, sang, laid him down and he went to sleep on his own within 5-15 minutes!!

We skipped the "nursing for a little while but not to sleep" because there's no way he'd ever stop. The first few days we gave him whole wheat tortilla and water, which he gobbled down vigorously. And MAN did he cry HARD. And it was definitely that ANGRY ANGRY cry. When I took him he wouldn't cry very much, just whimper cause I wouldn't let him nurse, but I was firm and consistent. I told him the milk was asleep at night from now on. It seemed to work. When Collin would take him, a couple of times he acted so mad that Collin was KEEPING him from his mommy! But he got over that. It was hard to hear him cry like that, and although I was used to no sleep, Collin had a bit of a hard time. But we stuck with it. After the first 4 days he wasn't really interested in the food part and would just drink. Then he would even deny that sometimes.

Now he goes from bedtime (about 7:30-8) to 6 or 7am without nursing. He does still wake 1-2 times per night, but he goes right back to sleep and we're working on it gradually. He's doing really great. He's just 1.5 years, after all! And Collin and I wonder WHO ever came up with the expectation of babies sleeping so perfectly so soon? I mean it's nice and all, but seriously, what adult doesn't wake now and then for a glass of water or to pee or because of a weird dream? And we have decades on them!!
Since I have no milk (it's turning into colostrum...AWESOME Kellymom article HERE). Fred is eating so much more regular food throughout the day. He nurses 1-2 times a day just for closeness, comfort, calm, familiar. And I love it. Life is good again.

It's good to see that everything we've done hasn't completely screwed him up...though I'm sure we'll make changes here and there with the next one. I know it's not for everyone, but we've loved co sleeping and nursing and how confident and independent while still appropriately attached to us it's helping him become. 

Now if only I could teach him to not throw food on the ground, spill every glass of water on PURPOSE, rip records out of their cases and climb up and mess with record player, terrorize the cats, slap and kick us or just teach myself to be patient with any of these!!!!!!!!! hehe. 

So far this summer...

cutie got my mascara

Our summer staple

At the children's museum

Sea life aquarium

A few weeks ago we took a couple if trips to the aquarium. It's a little aquarium. In a mall. But the tickets were in special for $5 so we went and honestly...for a little aquarium in a mall it was pretty amazing. Well Frederick loved it so much. And I've decided aquariums are where it's at. So much better than zoos!!

It's about time!

I'm outed on Facebook: we are having our second child sometime in early to mid December. Frederick is going through a very strong "MINE!" stage and its hard to see him having a very easy time with another family member in the picture... And taking so much of me up...but I know 6 months is a long time and he will do a lot of growing and learning and developing during that time. I'm sure it will be a challenging and wonderful transition for us all! 

Yes, we will be going back to Blossom Birth and Wellness Center in phx; we had such an incredible beautiful experience there, I couldn't imagine it any other way. 

And no, we do not plan to find out the sex. I actually dislike driving people crazy with that but we loved waiting to be surprised :) :) :) :) 

As my belly is starting to grow outward (much more quickly than I remembered last time) it's becoming more real. It's strange though because w Fred's pregnancy I focused soley on him and myself. And now it's mainly JUST Freddie! But I've been reminded by wonderful Nichelle (my doctor-one of three women who help deliver babies at Blossom) to take time to send this new little one plenty of love and having peace by taking care of myself. I'm learning to slow down a little, prioritize more, and gain lots lots lots more patience with Frederick, Collin and myself. 

I'm much more tired, sick, cold, emotional but less drooly!! And much more excited to give birth because I know how intense, insane, emotional, vulnerable, empowering, strengthening, and..really amazing it will be for me, our new little one, our family. 

Here are some super cute photos of Freddie, my one and only first born. 

Katie+Alani FOREVER!!!!!!!!

June 1st was a very hot day. But it was a beautiful day--a good day for a wedding in phx in summer because it was the last day under 106 that we will see till November. Insane. 

But anyway, we went to our good friends' wedding and it was BEAUTIFUL!!!! The flowers, the food, the people (this is one good looking couple), the love!! The family!! The dancing. The cake! The chocolate pie!!!!!!! Everything so good. 

Yahoo Katie and Alani Tufi!!!!

This kid was a dancing fool!!!

Super touching toasts by family members. 

I love the woman above so much, Katie's sister, Amy. 

Fred was obsessed!! He kept covering his mouth in disbelieve at her beauty and would run up and want to be held by her!! The princess!!!

AMAZING Tongan dancers! Fred was dancing w them and pointing to their hips moving like crazy hahaha! Then he kept helping pick up money and give it to the bride and groom. (Where does he gets his outgoing ness from????? Duh Collin.)

Katie's sidekick during the bouquet toss. 

Then Kelly's BEST BUDDY during cake time. He ate half of her chocolate pie!!!

Awesome moment when we were taking a picture and Fred dropped his full glass of water on us. 

BON VOYAGE!!! Such a fun night!! Congrats love birds!!

Testimonies

I have been very emotional today. I felt the spirit strongly at the wedding we attended last night. My dear friend, Katie was married to her best friend, Alani Tufi, in the Mesa temple. They had a ring ceremony where their Bishop testified of the love they had for each other and for God. I knew they were making the right choice. 

I had such a great time w my little family in the making. We ate and danced and laughed. I feel that God loves me and that he is my father. And he allows me these blessings.

Today at church people shared their intimate testimonies, their struggles. I felt the strength and reality of our ward family. I feel humbled to know these beautiful people and feel so happy about the successes and stories they share. 

I'm teaching today in young women's and I again feel humbled. Ill miss my husband being set apart in his new calling but I have committed to support him and I know I'll be where I'm supposed to. Ill be starting the discussion on supporting and upholding the Priesthood, but I have asked a bunch of the girls to teach what they feel about it. When they speak I feel the spirit so strongly. I know the Holy Ghost will be there. 

I love my husband and my son and my extended family.  I know we are in ward families to support each other. I know Heavenly Father loves me.